Funny how things have a way of turning out..

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  • Funny how things have a way of turning out..
  • elzorillo
    Member

    I dont normally use it but today I needed to use the car for work. So dropped my wife of at her workplace.

    On the way to work I see a girl I vaguely know who works opposite.. Not exactly displeasing to the eye but still. Our paths have crossed and we’re going to the same place so I do the polite thing and give her a lift. Not two minutes later I run into another car.. This car just happens to be driven by a friend of my wife. Not only that.. the job I needed the car for has been cancalled.

    So I have to explain to the wife that, I have smashed her car up going to a none existent job and I happened to have a hot blonde by my side.

    πŸ™

    Ro5ey
    Member

    Dead man walking.

    We have a dead man walking.

    Good luck

    Lets us know how you get on

    no matter how you explain it, she will want to know why you stopped to even pick the blonde up and what she was doing to you to cause you to crash.

    was anybody hurt?

    shit situation dude, i feel for you!

    lovetoride
    Member

    I wouldnt bother going home!!

    That bit of gear you picked up this morning, she single??

    glupton1976
    Member

    Hahahahaha.

    Hope she didn’t bite on impact….. 😯

    elzorillo
    Member

    was anybody hurt?

    Not yet.. but I still have to go home πŸ™

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    does she look like….?

    Premier Icon burgatedicky
    Subscriber

    glupton1976 – Member

    Hahahahaha.

    Such sympathy for a man in need!

    Just another example of the law of Sod, but seriously, good luck. Really wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    Practicing your alibi on us eh?

    how long have you been married and is it coming up to that time where you’d be trading in for a younger model anyway?

    you could just accuse the wife’s friend of being on drugs, causing the accident whilst tripping, and that she spent half the time you were trying to get any sense out of her talking to an imaginary person 8)

    elzorillo
    Member

    Practicing your alibi on us eh?

    Thats the thing.. It’s all true yet looks SO bad.

    boxfish
    Member

    Don’t worry, your wife will read this thread and her mind will be put at rest. Probably.

    Junkyard
    Member

    tell her the truth as it is the truth

    thats a horrible idea junky! convincing the wife that her friend hallucinates blondes and caused the accident will ensure that they probably stop talking long enough to dispose of the blonde

    wrecker
    Member

    You should definitely try to initiate intercourse with the hot blonde.
    Your wife is going to think you’re at it anyway and, well; Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

    tracknicko
    Member

    megalolz at wrecker.

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    hmm, new expression: “Bambi Boiler” then?

    hung like a horse thank you x

    Premier Icon honeybadgerx
    Subscriber

    Did you remember to do up your flies before exchanging details?

    Mucho respect if you then continued on your journey with the hot blonde AND your wife’s friend due to you writing off her car (providing she was also hot).

    alex222
    Member

    Hung for a rabbit. Hung for a dear.

    Premier Icon nickjb
    Subscriber

    Are you trying your story out on us before trying it on the wife? Most people seem to be buying it, so that’s good πŸ™‚

    tracknicko
    Member

    i aint! this is a fantastically epic lie.

    but i like it.

    if i was his mrs i’d definitely laugh. and then throw him out.

    soobalias
    Member

    when you say “works opposite” is that opposite you in the office or in a building opposite your work place?

    if its the latter, you are screwed

    and this girl you vaguely know, does your wife know her too, if not, you are screwed

    go home, pack, call the solicitor, dont ever look back.

    federalski
    Member

    Shambles, I can almost hear the trumpets…

    patriotpro
    Member

    The fat lady is clearing her throat as i type… 😈

    Premier Icon ononeorange
    Subscriber

    Did you run into the other car when leaving the secluded car park in the woods? If yes, you may be in trouble. Just a feeling I have.

    Good luck!

    andyl
    Member

    Classic!

    But we need pics to back up your story πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon somafunk
    Subscriber

    Apologies elzorillo but that’s a fantastic tale, really made my day and i’m still chuckling over the seemingly random sequence of events that led up to it πŸ˜€

    I imagine this’ll be you n’ the wife later

    Premier Icon ononeorange
    Subscriber

    It actually reminds me of one of those Helpful Herbert strips in Viz, where he used to get into the most ridiculously contrived situations that couldn’t look worse while just trying to be entirely helpful.

    You didn’t spill the contents of the jug of cream that you were carefully carrying for someone else over your trousers in the crash while your passenger was being stung by a large and angry bee and had removed her top to get rid of it, by any chance?!

    As above – classic!

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    Your wife will have known all about this within minutes of you leaving the accident.

    She’ll have thus had all day to build up a head of steam and reach the following conclusion;

    1) you didn’t have any work today to start with
    2) you only wanted the car to pick up blonde girl

    I suspect things won’t go well when you get home πŸ™

    cranberry
    Member

    Make sure that you don’t finish off the day by having a golden retriever appear from out of nowhere and jump up on you before sprinting off, leaving long, curly blond hairs all over your clothes.

    πŸ˜‰

    Also, check your pockets for used condom wrappers.

    Premier Icon surroundedbyhills
    Subscriber

    This is better than “rate my brickie” – good luck mate. At least you know you are innocent… πŸ˜•

    randomjeremy
    Member

    OP you should definitely play the Euromillions tonight.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    This sounds like the sitcom ‘Oh Crikey!’ from the young ones

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_3UnARrfWU[/video]

    πŸ˜†

    Squidlord
    Member

    Genuine LOL almost became actual ROFL!

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    So how’s the OP now?

    martinxyz
    Member

    I’m picturing him flat on the floor having been skelped over the back of the head with a heavy pan.. whilst watching that clip (full volume,which attracted the OH to the computer room in the first place)

    ..and now SHE is reading all this,possibly about to reply any minute now.

    Premier Icon Coyote
    Subscriber

    So, wonder how he got on?

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