Well I dunno but my sister found a dead bird and didn't know what to do with it (she's not the brightest) and a friend told her to call the RSPCA who'd take it away. She did call and they said they'd only come for two birds. I'm sure they know what they are doing but I don't get it at all.

Just say you have 2 birds, and then when they call round say got better and flew off or the cat ate it.

Easy,

Odd – a bird in the hand…

wow.

should have told them it was an ostrich.
or
kill another bird.

I did start to suggest she say that she had an injured bird and when they arrived say that unfortunatley it had died after the call but I thought better of that and just told her to sling it in a hedge.

so the fact they refused to turn up for only one dead bird makes you think they have too much money…WHY?
what exactly did her friend think they could protect the DEAD bird from?

Well you know its the fact they would come for two….

(she's not the brightest)

seems not no……

Presumably two or more dead birds at the same time might indicate something untoward? (e.g. poisoning, **** with air rifle etc)

Or a cat – would they come with a gun? Well maybe that would be the RSPB.

If they DID show up for one bird wouldn't that suggest they have too much money?

i think they just said that rather than say why the **** would we come out to see a dead bird so they say they come out for n+1 birds.
Ring tomorrow and say you have 2 dead birds and let me know if they say 3.

I'm not so sure.

I went on a tour of the new RSPCA headquarters the other day, there was barely enough room to swing a cat.

they said they'd only come for two birds.

Sounds like a wind up to me.

The question you should really be asking is "Does the RSPCA have a sense of humour ?"

Tell them that you drowned the bird – they'll be right over with a TV crew and a sense of moral superiority.

TR – this is a wind-up right ???

And if your sister really called the RSPCA about a dead bird, 'not the brightest' doesn't do her or her friend justice – complete morons would be more apt.

I believe the rspca have too much power and too much respect but no too much money

Give your money to the PDSA.

Give your money to the ASDA.

As an animal lover I'd give to the PDSA.

If I had dementia I'd sign my will over to the RSPCA.

Bestiality is a crime and a sin.

Well, I'm not going to check with the RSPCA but as crazy as it seems I think must be true – hoped someone here would know what's going on and it might all make sense. My sister appears fairly normal but she is gullible – she says her reason for not wanting the dead bird around was that her 3 year old son was taking an interest in it – good boy – but why she didn't think to throw it into a hedge or someone else's bin I have no idea.

I've got some chicken fillets in the fridge past their sell by. I'll give the RSPCA a bell later and see exactly what their policy is, do I need two whole birds, or just bits?

I'd come quicker for 2 birds.

The RSPCA have been pretty shite the last few times I've dealt with it. Then again, if I was working for an organisation that got called when someone DIDN'T KNOW WTF TO DO WITH A DEAD **** BIRD, I'd imagine I could become quite casual in my attitude 🙂

Presumably two or more dead birds at the same time might indicate something untoward? (e.g. poisoning, **** with air rifle etc)

This ^^

Same thing with the bird flu "crisis". They weren't interested in one dead bird, birds die all the time, if there was more than one in the same place at the same time, they wanted to know so they could check it.

I went on a tour of the new RSPCA headquarters the other day, there was barely enough room to swing a cat.

😆

I had a seagull stuck in my garden once and refusing to fly away, after two days of it swarking and shitting everywhere whilst getting weaker and weaker and less able to scare the local cats off I called the RSPCA.
They told me that they wouldn't come to get it unless it was in 'imminent danger'.

When I (tongue in cheek) suggested that if it didnt fly off soon I was going to hit it with a brick and was that imminent enough for them they went crackers and told me I'd be prosecuted.

They also didnt react well to me pointing out that without them coming out and helping it then perhaps me offing it quickly was the kindest thing to do.

Eventually a friend managed to get a local bird sanctuary to take it.

I presume they follow the general "let nature take its course" method – if they come to collect a bird that's ill/just having an off week etc, they are going to be very very busy chasing all the wild birds all over the country who are on their last legs. Makes sense really. Unless someone is hurting it or it's about to get splattered un-naturally, why go near it?

If it's dead why would the RSPCA want it anyway? Just whack it in the bin.

finbar – Member

If it's dead why would the RSPCA want it anyway? Just whack it in the bin.

I think it's slowly dawning on her that RSPCA does not stand for the Royal Society for Prompt Cremation of Animals.

a deer got knocked down by a lorry outside my dads house a while back and knowing my love of fresh roadkill he was trying to get it into his garage for me to come and butcher, however the assembled crowd were adamant that the rspca were on the way to deal with it "but its head is off, i think its a bit beyond protecting from cruelty" was his reply, he said the guy who turned up to collect it was licking his lips as he dragged it into the rspca van

jonah tonto – Member
he said the guy who turned up to collect it was licking his lips as he dragged it into the rspca van

Royal Society for the Preparation of Comestible Antlers.

Deer – I saw a TV programme a while back about the RSPCA and a women found a deer that had been hit by a car but was not dead. As it was beyond saving she shot it in the head (not sure what she used for that) and then pushed it into the ditch to let nature do it's thing. So she wasn't too keen on having it for lunch but maybe she wasn't strong enough to take it away? Or maybe it wouldn't be good for their image?!

Shovel>scoop>fling
One swift movement.

Job done.

I just love the phrase 'fling it in the hedge'. Someone else walks past, finds this dead bird half sticking out of the hedge, somewhat skewiff…

As for roadkill, isn't there a rule somewhere, in the big book of rules, that if you find it you can have it, but if you hit it you're not allowed to take it?

Well maybe they should take your sister and the dead bird=2 birds!

BTW your sister should ask her parents permission as a 5yr old making phone calls… 😆

Get a black bin liner and pick it up and into the bin it goes?

I suspect every time someone rings the RSPCA with that type of question, the standard reply is "ahh, well, if there were N+1 dead whatevers, we'd come out"