Its my (our) wedding anniversay today (21st) would have been married 14 yrs, but i decided that i had enough and ended it May last year.
My brother was seperating at the same time - he has 2 boys - I (we) dont have kids but he spent a lot of time and money on solicitors. A lot seemed to because both my brother and his ex wife wanted to "win" and get one over on the other - so lots of things were disputed , particularly the value of "stuff".
Solicitors seemed to be geared up - not to make this any easier - and as you say, sending each others solicitors costs a lot of money.
I guess i was really lucky - C and i both did some research on the web worked out what we each were entitled to - got the house valued and then split everything. C got a seperation agreement drawn up - i took it to a solicitor asked him to check it and then witness it - cost me £220 and about 30 minutes. My solicitor having checked it - wanted to send the draft back to C's solicitor who would then have sent it to C and then back to me - he seemed suprised when i said no - i'll sign it now , you sign it now and then i will deliver it by hand to C.
We did have a very stupid argument via a 3rd party over a CD player, which i really regret. Its easy for me to say as i dont have kids - but doing everything via solicitors just seems to increase the tension and aggravation and the cost - for me it felt like i was picking over the skeleton of a relationship, something that had once been very precious but sadly wasn't anymore. This was a person i had loved, it felt ridiculous to be comunicating via 3rd parties whom i had never previously met. I never put much value on stuff, its just stuff, it was sad to leave things that we had bought together butb it is just that stuff - the important stuff like the good memories i hope will be around for ever.
I hope it all works out for you i really do - i could not have coped with a drawn out seperation and argument.
