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Dating tips for a middle aged man - please!
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Posted 8 months ago #
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See you there then
Posted 8 months ago # -
Am I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.
+1 my wife uses a wheelchair, i don't want or need a riding companion, i think life would be very dull if yer Mrs followed you around.
Right dating tips:
Don't have a type, be open minded.
Put intelligence above looks.
Ignore the above.
Good luck!
Posted 8 months ago # -
Flip that is rubbish about life being dull if you took your Mrs around. So what am I to do if I meet a biker, bearing in mind I have a lot of MTB friends all over the country. Should I tell him he can't join us incase it makes my ride dull? Or are you just labeling females as the gender who would make any ride dull?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Hey all,
Well as a female, in general I love riding with guys and I don't give a tot whos faster or slower than me, I just really enjoy myself, even today in the peeing rain and mudfest. 20 of us, mixed gender and mixed ability. It was really good fun!
Looked like it! Just been looking at Simon's photos..
Posted 8 months ago # -
*slicks eyebrows*
Posted 8 months ago # -
Posted 8 months ago # -
Just out of interest, is anyone on here a paid up member of Fitness Singles ?
Posted 8 months ago # -
A while ago I was, not on any dating sites now, too busy
Posted 8 months ago # -
being in a relationship with a lady rider is lovely
the trick is finding a lady who enjoys talking about boobs as much as the guys you ride with.
i'm lucky i think
Posted 8 months ago # -
Recent comments have just reminded me that the Ex's bike is in the cupboard.
I need to rescue it from the cupboard and sort out selling it.However, to continue the theme. The last one wasn't a cyclist.
She did try off road a few times.
Said she didn't mind it.
But I can't recall her ever mentioning gettings the bikes out if we had some spare time.
Defo fair weather too.
I'd prefer one who did cycle.And I'm totally never fussed about who is fastest.
Phil. Stop boasting.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Just recently met a quite wonderful woman on plentyoffish. Was at the end of my teather with it, was just about to close the account and concentrate on buying nice toasters when she popped up in the search. Few mails later and we're now 3 weeks in and everything is very very good.
It can be a total headf**k, I must admit, but the right person is out there for you. You dont need anymore cliches than that.
Col
Posted 8 months ago # -
Col.
Hey, great story.
I'm experiencing similar disappointment on Match.
Guess it must just be timing.
I hope it works out for you two.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Cheers Solo. I'd honestly given up hope. She came and watched me race last Sunday, even at this early stage she is showing an interest in what I do, something that no previous partner ever did.
Keep the chin up Solo, it'll happen.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Posted 8 months ago #
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Shibboleth - Member
Am I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Exactly TJ, though it's not a must. This girl I'm with now plays tennis and even though it's her thing, i'll play the odd time with her.
I've convinced her of a trip to Scotland including bike hire for the weekend!
Posted 8 months ago # -
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
Goodness me !. I am going to agree with TJ
The Ex and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.
But when that couldn't happen, friends picked up the slack, as I'm sure I have for my mates.
Felt balanced in a way that suited all parties.
Posted 8 months ago # -
We are not joined at the hip and I am able to ride without her. simply put its "I am going for a bike ride - do you want to join me?" she says yes or no
Posted 8 months ago # -
I agree with Shibboleth on that point, its important to have some different pastimes and time away from each other, not that I would exclude a cyclist, but I would still expect to do most of our riding separately.
A couple of rides a week I count as "me" time, I just go out by myself and ride, it helps keep my head clear and stress free.
Posted 8 months ago # -
The Ex and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach
Posted 8 months ago # -
Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach
Yeah, we were only together for 21 years.
Barely enough time to get to know each other and find out what worked for us.
Posted 8 months ago # -
TandemJeremy - Member
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?I certainly wouldn't say it's "strange" TJ, but you always did have trouble understanding any view that differed from your own.
I ride with a big group of blokes and there's a bit of an unspoken rule that it's a blokes only group. I suspect it would be frowned upon if one of us turned up with a lady, not just because of the blokey juvenile crap we come out with, but we all ride hard and fast and the chance of meeting a lady that would keep up would probably be quite slim.
I can just predict there would be those awkward instances when a mountain biking lady might expect to be invited along.
I certainly wouldn't rule out someone on that basis, and as I said, social rides out would be great. But going out for a proper competitive lads' lungbuster, complete with all the angry shouty sweary blokiness that goes along with it is something I'd always want to keep separate from "another half".
Posted 8 months ago # -
My previous LTG and I used to sail/race together in Dinghies. We'd Club race and do the Nationals and stuff, and whilst in the main it was super enjoyable, we'd bicker like kittens on quite a few occasions. In some races it'd spoil our racing, on others we'd never say a word to each other and do well, on others we'd just giggle and do quite well. There was no logic for our mood/compatibility whilst in race mode, we never just cruised around, all our time was racing. So, would she want to cruise around, nope, me, nope, we really were far too competitive for mucking around.
Now then, you'd think a very common interest between us both would bring us together, unfortunately after 11yrs it eventually split us up, that and a few other things tbh (but I'll not go into them here)
It's a common symptom this arguing lark, most of my mates have issues with sailing with partners and most have stopped doing just that, they now sail alone, it's just the way it goes.
Now cycling and MrsBouy don't really get on too well. She's into walking and scrabbling up mountains, me I prefer riding them, but we mix up a love of the outdoors and have a happy o'l time doing it. She has been on a spare bike of mine, has hinted about getting something specific for her, but I'm a little reserved about it, she can make her own mind up if she wants/buys one or not. I'm happy either way, I love riding, love riding with mates or solo, not that bothered, but if she wants to do the offroad stuff I do then I'm going to have to think twice about taking her along.. I've yet to take her "offroad" and I'm not too sure how she'll be with me when I'm in offroad mode or in roadie race mode for that matter...
So, we'll see. I'll not pressure, she'll take her time/she’ll choose.
I'm happy, she's happy.Posted 8 months ago # -
I just recently resubscribed to Fitness Singles.
I had a message from well over a year ago, which I couldn't read at the time as I wasn't a paid up member then, so I replied anyway, 'cos you never know what's happened in the meantime.
I also wrote to the best of the currently active members, who, by coincidence, lives in the same town as the other one.
After a couple of emails, it turned out they had the same surname too.I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time.
Posted 8 months ago # -
I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time.
Haha, you should have kept going, tested out that "special bond"...
Posted 8 months ago # -
I don't know what the twins expected to happen. Wouldn't be embarassed for that, they're probably well aware of the potential mixups and are having a giggle about it.
My friend and I were both on there, we had some of the same guys contact us (nothing wrong with that BTW), we did find it worthy of a few laughs between friends
Posted 8 months ago # -
Shibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.
If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed.
To make a relationship work takes compromise and goodwill. 30 years we have been together. I can have my lads time and she never stops me from doing anything I want but it is inconceivable to me to exclude her from anything
Posted 8 months ago # -
TandemJeremy - Member
Shibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.
As I said earlier, you really do have a massive problem seeing other people's viewpoints, don't you.I sympathise wholeheartedly with what bikebouy experienced, and I can easily see how it could become problematic.
I'm single through choice, and the only reason my biking habits haven't become a problem is that I haven't met any biking girls that I've wanted to date.
I'm very happy that you've been together so long, at least you've not been spoiling another couple!
Posted 8 months ago # -
If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed
this is so much crap. MY GF and me have hugely different interests, OK she rides (roadie) and reluctantly runs occassionally, but she loves nothing more than reading a book about maths or physics with nothing but the ticking of a clock as company, if I start playing the guitar or put music on she gives me *the look* LOL, or shopping, she LUVS to shop drives me insane with boredom, so i go out with my housemate or his friends to the pub or cycling. I luv her desperately and so does she, but we realised that we have different interests. Our relationship isn't doomed!!
Posted 8 months ago # -
I agree 100% Emsz, but you're wasting your breath - it's the TJ way or the highway!
Posted 8 months ago # -
Seriously TJ? Seriously?
Posted 8 months ago # -
Ha, Nearly all of my biking mates laugh at me when I say I'd like a woman who's into biking! I'm starting to see their point too because unless the lass was fast and technically able, would you want to be having to wait for them every 5mins? I guess that's why TJ's bike is made for two!
Posted 8 months ago # -
Also, I don't think he's particularly technically able...
Posted 8 months ago # -
Surely the important thing is to have some common interests, and not be identical in every way. My partner skis pretty well, bikes a bit lamely. I ski quite a lot with her - but go away on other trips too. Ride with her only occasionally. And I don't go to her book group and never knit. Kids and other stuff we share. Somethings I deliberately avoid taking up to give her some space.
So the truth may be a little bit less clearcut that TJ claims, after all - his wife doesn't post on here often does she? So even he appears to have an unshared hobby
In this case surely the question is how attractive MTBing is to a girl, either to do as a dating activity, or as something which suggests the OP is fit and worth a shag? And you won't get those answers here.
Posted 8 months ago #
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