In what will, surely to God, be his last Budget Mr Darling confirmed that Britain was now essentially insolvent and that the best idea might be to ease the country quietly into the middle of the Indian Ocean and leave it unlocked so that it could be stolen by Somalian pirates.
He added: “We then act all surprised and bung in a claim to the Norwich Union. But everyone has to keep shtum.”
Mr Darling said the alternative was to gradually wind the country down over the next three weeks and then go our separate ways.
If taxpayers decide to close the country, Mr Darling said £2 billion would be made available to train Britain’s under 25s in how to switch everything off and cover it with a tarpaulin.
