US ER database of some 300,000+ entries.
Such comments as:
UNHELMETED BICYCLIST RIDING BIKE WHILE DRINKING ALCOHOL DOING COCAINE AND SMOKING MARIJUANA FELL OFF BIKE BUT DOESNT REMEMBER.D:FACIAL ABRASION
http://www.sun-sentinel2.com/features/ftlaudNEISS/ftlaudNEISS08_list.php
It's surprising the number of people who slip in the shower and fall on various items...
ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE CHANNEL ON TV AND SLID ONTO BUTTOCKS STRAINING KNE E
Lolz.
Fill your boots (or anyother part of your anatomy)
http://www.sun-sentinel2.com/features/ftlaudNEISS/ftlaudNEISS08_list.php?a=search&value=1&SearchFor=rectum&SearchOption=Contains&SearchField=narrative
What happened?Treatment date 11/18/2008
Age 47
Sex Male
Race Not stated
Narrative SLIPPED IN SHOWER ON SOAP AND HANDLE OF SHOWER PENETRATED AREA NEAR REC TUM
Yeah OK whatever you say!!!
PUT ROLL OF DOLLAR BILLS IN BAGGY UP RECTUM AND CANNOT REMOVE IT NOW
could explain the queue at some checkouts
My word! That's quite eye-watering...
FELL ASLEEP FRIEND INSERTED VIBRATOR UP RECTUM NOW STUCK
Hey, we've all been there.
It seems properly fitted shower mats would prevent 90% of all rectal injury 
"PW Swallowed Battery"
Every time I see one of those blister packs and it says "Caution do not swallow battery", I think "mmm tasty"
In fairness I used to quite like licking 9v batteries as a kid 
PUT FIVE PENILE RINGS ON PENIS TO MAINTAIN ERECTION CAUSING STRANGULATION INJ; REMOVED UNDER ANESTHESIA
removed what?
hah!
+ETOH,PLAYING A GUITAR,STUMBLED,FELL BACKWARD ONTO UNCAPPED BEER BOTTLE ,WHCH CONTACTED PERINEAL AREA,BOTTLE INTACT DX: COMPLEX VAGINAL LAC
rocknroll dude.
Ive been reading through these funnies for the last few days.
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985
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