🙁

If it turns out to be bad news, just know there was nothing you could do to prevent it.

With compassion for each other, quite a few tears & maybe counselling.

It will be ok eventually.

^ this.

We’ve been through this, twice. No point in trying to dress it up – its **** awful for everyone involved. Just stick together, get through it, try again. Seems to be massively common these days, I guess with the improvements in pregnancy testing etc. We’ve been through it twice, friends have twice, brother in law once, my brother once etc etc.

Just cry. I think thats all there is to it.

So sorry.

Very common, I’m afraid. 1 in 4 IIRC. Almost half of couples will have been through it. 🙁

Look after each other, talk and listen

You have my sympathies

No words to offer that won’t sound trite. But I can try.

We’ve been there, I remember sitting with the Sonographer. She said it happens a lot. Nature’s way and all the other stuff they say just went straight over my head. The dream has just turned into a nightmare and there’s nothing, absolutely nothing you can do.

Yet, you cope. You support each other in whatever way you can, you grieve just as you would for any other loss, you weep, you wonder what you could have done (I can answer that, nothing I’m afraid).

At the moment though nothing matters but you two, don’t worry about anything but yourselves. Take it a minute at a time, and allow yourselves to adjust. Then seek support if that’s you thing, there’s a vast amount of resources out there, it’s a taboo subject, but really, really shouldn’t be, because it happens so much.

I’m so, so sorry.

🙁
Sorry to hear your situation.
One thing to try and remember that your wife/partner will feel much, much worse than you so give her as much support as she needs and just ‘be there’ for her.
You will hear lots of people have been through the same situation, we did and I’m sure there are many on here who have too.
There is no blame, no fault, it’s just one of the cruel parts about having a baby.

I’m sorry, that’s **** horrible. My wife and I have been there too, more than once and that first time was and is the lowest point of my life.

It will get better, it won’t be quick but you can find a way. The only people who understand what you’re going through are you and your partner so try and be there for each other. She might blame herself, remind her that’s not true.

You won’t want to hear it now but one day it might help. We went through this a number of times, then right when we were ready to give up we got lucky. My daughter is 2 in June and makes my life worthwhile.

This is shit but it doesn’t define you.

I’m sorry too. Been there as well, “it’s nature’s way” is trite but if it ain’t meant to be this time, nothing’s going to change it.

Don’t know how you’ll cope, I didn’t very well and that lead to some life-changing outcomes (in a good way, eventually) – so if you want a list of not what to do, I’ll happily oblige. But you will cope, it’s very common as everyone has said and everyone gets through it in the end.

It’ll be a distant memory one day. Hug your other half, be there for her, and get help yourself if you need to. Together you are stronger – you will get through this.

We were in your position 3 times. 4th time lucky and our daughter is 14 now.

Some great advice already given and nothing I can really add.

It will and does get easier. All the best to your partner and you.

Though times, out of 5 we lost numbers 2&4, found it hard phoning my mum from the hospital to tell her the first time. Now I think that if we hadn’t lost them we wouldn’t have our youngest, it’s not till it happens to you that you realise how common it is, don’t give up though if you want kids it’s worth it. Sometimes it is hard not having something or somewhere to grieve over you’re loss, even at 12 weeks you would have built a picture of your future life so the loss is still pretty big.
We often wonder if the ones we lost were boys as we now have 3 girls, will never know.

Personally I wouldn’t go with the naming, caused me loads of issues, we had picked out my Grandads name, then my sister (who didn’t know), wanted to call her son the same name.

All I can say is keep your chin up, it’s pretty devastating, but it is more common that you think.

So sorry to hear SJ. Be there for each other.

Ugh…. I’m sorry to hear that mate. As others have said, there is really no way to minimise the impact of this – you just have to deal with it on a moment by moment basis. Just be kind to one annother.

We had 2 misscarriages before we had our beautiful baby girl – eight months old today. Stay positive, it’ll happen.

tears and hugs….
Some more tears, some more hugs, Talking about it and moving on….

Sorry to hear the news…..

When you start talking about it (such as on here) you realise how many people it happens to and how many people it affects.
While that doesn’t make your individual case any easier to deal with, it does perhaps help you to realise that it’s nothing that ‘you have done’, it’s just nature being nature……

Been there too, my sympathies 🙁

But although it’s gutting right now try to remember it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t mean you’ll never have kids. I’ve got two…

Another one who’s been there. it’s rubbish. Talk to friends – unfortunately all too likely that they’ve been there.

Sundayjumper – so very sorry

The rest of you – its days like this I feel proud to be a member of this community. Thank you

First time is the hardest I think (we’ve had 4 miscarriages and 2 sons) . We had to walk through a waiting room full of pregnant couples on the way out. That was hard, but it didn’t really hit home until we were at home and you had time to think about things. Bought us closer together , so make sure you take time to talk about it, don’t bottle things up. We had counselling after the second miscarriage and the wife was pregnant with the third baby ( he was born and is 9 ) , due to the anxiety.
My wife decided to go natural rather than D & C .
Sounds morbid , but we have them in a plant pot (which flowers magnificently each year) . It helped a little with the mourning process.

Like so many others have said, it is surprisingly common and absolutely horrendous to go through. Be there for each but don’t smother each other. I spent days and nights “being there” for my wife, and it wasn’t until the MIL came up and made me go out for a bike ride that I was able to let my own emotions out.

Thousands of people have to go through this heartbreak and the vast majority come out the other side. You will too, it just doesn’t feel like it yet.

We have two wonderful kids from 4 pregnancies.

It happened to us first time. As you can see from the posts and you will hear when discussing this with friends and family it happens a lot.

It is really shit though and your other half still has some pain to go through. If I am honest I always knew it was harder for my wife so I worked hard to support her. I vividly remember crying on the way to work when I went back.

We have an amazing girl who will be ten on Friday and clearly I wouldn’t change a thing so it gets better.