We’ve all had “you bought a toaster so here are 500 toasters” but what’s your best insane suggestion?

I ask, because the Etsy bot just recommended this:

https://i.etsystatic.com/7863475/r/il/705617/3594168520/il_1140xN.3594168520_hnpf.jpg

An Android phone.

I think we need to know what your previous Etsy purchase was. Was it ‘that’*, but in blue?

*What is ‘that’? I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable even looking at it – not sure if it’s the face or the hands. I’m cool with orange fur obvs.

I quite regularly get “you bought those so have this to try” from the vintner we use. He’s usually right.

Maybe that doesn’t count?

Maybe I drink too much wine?

£30,000 Nike SB The Dunk trainers

I think it suits you Northwind and the shop got it just right.

I ask, because the Etsy bot just recommended this:

In the name of all that is holy, kill it with fire and sticks!!

Facebook marketplace, ever since I used the iOS feature to prevent the Facebook app using data from my web browsing history, has gone bizarre. It’s utterly convinced I need this kind of stuff:

In the name of all that is holy, kill it with fire and sticks!!

That’s going to need supernatural intervention to kill!

Out of idle interest I just checked Amazon for ‘things we think you will like’, ,and this came up:

200g of cherry flavoured candyfloss sugar… like for putting into those candy floss centrifuge machine things?

I’m really at a total loss!

Weirdly I got the same Etsy recommendation a couple of days ago. Freaked me out. Did some digging and it turns out there’s a whole long Furby scene type thing on the internet, all very very odd.

I do have a picture of something else that came up but it would get me a ban.

I do have a picture of something else that came up but it would get me a ban.

Was it suggested usage of the long furby?

I want that little engine!

I ask, because the Etsy bot just recommended this:

Yeah, Cougar will be along shortly to explain how it is based on what another member of your household has been browsing.  At least you know what to get someone next birthday to surprise them….

I once had amazon recommend group sex……

It’s an album by the circle jerks

I bought a rear door catch for a Transit once.
Ever since I get adverts for boot catches for Polos, Fiestas, Accords, Legacys, all sorts.
My Internet has obviously just decided that I just like boot catches🤷‍♂️.
.
.
There was a genuinely useful one once, having spent two hours failing to remove the fuel filter and eventually breaking the housing I went on the Internet to buy a new housing. ‘People who bought this also bought the special fuel filter housing tool’ Ah… That explains a lot, yes, I’ll have one of those too please.

My Etsy recommendations are so nerdy I’m going to search for more porn to make myself seem more interesting. All I get is plastic printed counter covers for board games and painted furniture

Was it suggested usage of the long furby?

Nope. Just reminded myself and the description is Sex Love Carpet Romantic Area Rug. Only $7.98, should have ordered it.

Mostly 100s of old knives.

But this stood out in my ‘Home and Living (based on your activity)’ suggestions:

What is it? Why, a ‘Resident Evil Las Plagas Parasite’ of course.

Facebook marketplace for me kicks out occasional really wierd suggestion…

Russian brides usually.

Unfortunately I’m not sure how to link a picture for this but these popped up for me on the AliExpress app today. Seem legit.

https://a.aliexpress.com/_mKzbU7i

Slightly different, about 15 years ago my then doctors surgery invited me for a mammogram.

Not sure why as I then in my early 30’s and as now, male.

bigginge
Full Member

Unfortunately I’m not sure how to link a picture for this but these popped up for me on the AliExpress app today. Seem legit.

https://a.aliexpress.com/_mKzbU7i

Keep it local, we have an STW member that 3d prints valvecocks.

I’m really at a total loss!

Surely you mean a total floss?

Just reminded myself and the description is Sex Love Carpet Romantic Area Rug. Only $7.98, should have ordered it.

Sounds like carpet burn heaven…..

The pic in the OP is a “long Furby” and it’s an internet thing.

Vice has done a piece about them (obviously).

Amazon once recommended Scabies Powder to me. That was nice.

And Facebook thought I might know John Major. Yes, that John Major.

Not quite answering the question but I’ve recently joined zwift (and I’m using it, and had to google a few set up questions).
Monthly subsription, as far as I can tell no further purchases are possible.

75% of youtube ads are now for zwift. what exactly are they trying to get me to buy?

I quite regularly get “you bought those so have this to try” from the vintner we use

Ah, you’re the person who reads the notes on the wine display in Lidl!

Yeah, Cougar will be along shortly to explain how it is based on what another member of your household has been browsing. At least you know what to get someone next birthday to surprise them….

😂 I’m more chuckling at the surprised reactions above, “I turned off personalised advertising and now the adverts are all random!” Like, what did you expect was going to happen?

A word to the wise though: if this sort of thing bothers you, stay away from Wish. I did a sort of ‘secret santa’ thing once with a group of friends, we all bought surprise tat for each other, maximin spend a fiver. I bought my giftee a pair of gloves and I was gifted what was supposed to be a “spy camera” pen but as far as I could tell was a pen which lit a red RED when you pressed a button. Since then I started getting ads from Wish but the quality control on their advertising was worse than on their products. The first ad I got was for a brass knuckle-duster; the second was for what I can only describe as a f***ing machine, it was sort of sewing-machine shaped only having a piston with a dildo on the end.

The first ad I got was for a brass knuckle-duster; the second was for what I can only describe as a f***ing machine, it was sort of sewing-machine shaped only having a piston with a dildo on the end.

No need for a review thanks very much

As most of my shopping is done at shops, it’s not surprising that some suggestions have been well matched.

Both my butcher and fishmonger have told me “here’s your tea!” as I entered the shop. Both were magnificently right.

A bit more unusual was the time when Ian at Boardwise told me “Your new board is here!” I told him I hadn’t ordered a new windsurf board. “I know” he said “Come and look at this!”

Reader – I bought it.

i got some weird socks with individual toes the other day

eta

The first ad I got was for a brass knuckle-duster; the second was for what I can only describe as a f***ing machine, it was sort of sewing-machine shaped only having a piston with a dildo on the end.

TTIFAIIWPT*

*This Thread Is Fine As It Is Without Pics Thanks!

Who knew?

Every day is a s̶t̶o̶o̶l̶ school day!

TTIFAIIWPT*

*This Thread Is Fine As It Is Without Pics Thanks!

🤣🤣🤣

Just as well. If you think I’m going -anywhere- near Wish trying to find it, you’ve got another wish coming.

Thread has made I laugh. Cheers!
Those toe socks are like my worst nightmare, imagine if you pulled and they took their shoes off to reveal that! “Ugh, cheers love, didn’t fancy it tonight anyway!” 😀

Wish offered me this, once.

I have never been fishing. Nor for that matter have I ever ejaculated feathers.

You haven’t lived.