You have to buy a suit specifically for funerals.

Is that the definition of ‘old’.

when you get to know about more deaths than births?

It hurts when you get up even when you have not done any exercise for a week or so

And at what age did you buy your funeral suit?

I don’t have one for funerals but I do have one for birthdays.

When you can’t perv over a fit young hottie without it feeling wrong. I should be OK for another 50 years then 8)

I don’t think I know anyone who’d expect me to wear a special suit to their funeral!

It hurts when you get up because you have not done any exercise for a week or so

FTFY

when you make a audible moan when you stand up.

When you start indicating in car parks…

If you stand up, sit down stand up sit down quickly enough and for long enough, neighbours think you got lucky!

When your wife asks you if you want to go upstairs and make love and you tell her that it has to be one or the other.

When cops look younger than you and politicians look like your peers.

Northwind – Member
I don’t think I know anyone who’d expect me to wear a special suit to their funeral!

I don’t think I know anyone who’s dead that gives a shit either way.

when you make a audible moan when you stand up.

Shit. I’m 28.

when your barber finishes off with your eyebrows and ears

My uncle always used to say he had to keep making new friends because all his old ones were dying.

He stopped saying it two years ago though.

grey pubes

^^^^ beat me too it

when female news readers become attractive

When your naked and you can’t sit on a slatted bench..
Commonly known as old mans balls..

when female news readers become attractive

depends on the newsreader, I’m surely not getting on a bit just because I’d happily spend all day watching this newsreader even if I can’t speak the language

when female news readers become attractive

* savours a Werthers Original and daydreams of Moira Stuart *

An allnighter is not getting up for a wazz !

When you’re flicking through the music channel, and vintage TV has a song you know and love on.

And falling off 2 weeks ago and still not healed sufficiently to ride again. 🙁

NZCol +1

though actually I’m happy if I wake up needing a slash at 3 because then it means I won’t wake up needing one at 6 when it’s too late to go back to sleep

I guess that means I really am a weak bladdered old fart 🙁

Watched that new Superman film the other day and I genuinely thought, wow this is too loud and started getting confused by the final fight scene and all the smashing around.

Also, recovery times, even bruises hurt me for 2 weeks now.

… When you find Peter Kay funny.

. When you find Peter Kay funny.

Sod that – I’ll never be that old. (Or that MOR)

I’ve noticed I have to pull myself out of cars holding onto the door pillar.

When your officially graduate to ‘thinking man’s crumpet’

Hmmmmmmm, Stella creasey and Victoria Coren Mitchell

You shake, put it away and a little bit still comes out…

When you can’t perv over a fit young hottie without it feeling wrong.

When you find the fit young hottie’s mother more interesting.

When you consider “going for a walk” exercise.

some c*** on here points out therapy? was 20yrs ago

You know your getting on a bit when the bloke servicing your watch today is younger than the watch – by 16 years 🙂

soobalias – Member

some c*** on here points out therapy? was 20yrs ago

101 Damnations is 25. I’m OK with that as I didn’t hear it til about 1996 but still. Yer old yer old yer old yer old yer old.

cheers northwind. last time i owned that it was a cassette

You know your getting on a bit when the bloke servicing your watch today is younger than the watch – by 16 years

The bloke who sent my Yema away to be fixed must have been at least that much younger, the watch is 44 years old…
At least the bloke who actually serviced it was about twenty years older.
When 6Music is celebrating the release of albums from thirty-forty years ago, that you bought the day they were released… 😐

When your back is hairier than your head

When you stop wanting to chat up the pretty girls (God forbid)

Obsession with slippers

1 pint = 1 wee