Worriers. How Do You Manage?

Another possible angle is to consider imposter syndrome. This is where you feel that you are in a position but don’t deserve to be and are worried about being found out.

Id be interested if those who have had therapy feel that it has worked. It can be all very well doing the training but then when you are very stressed, you revert to type.

I’ve had imposter syndrome for years. As a part of my CBT I had to do an exercise, over a couple of weeks, where I noted down things that I had done to help others at work or at home, and any compliments or appreciation I received from people. It felt a bit narcissistic to me, but I did it. My therapist told me that it was to help with how I see myself and highlight what others think of me in a positive way. Almost like keeping a diary of achievements to concentrate on rather than thinking about failures – and there are generally more good things than bad things happening, in my life at least.

Really interesting thread. I’m not one of life’s worriers, fortunately. But my wife is. We’ve had a lot of the discussions had here but there are a few more mentioned that I like. Particularly the 20 minute worry time and reviewing past worries that didn’t come to fruition.

For work I’m a Programme Manager (lazy project manager) so I figured that I spend all my worry time at work. The few times that I do worry it’s about work. Not being made redundant but thinking through various issues and potential scenarios of how they may play out.

I find cycling is my outlet. I’m not talking sending the gnarr or some super endurance shiz. Literally just pootling along and enjoying the view. Let’s my mind wonder and distill stuff.

Depending of what it is you worry about… 4 or 5  years back my employer of many a year had a disastrously incompetent reverse take over (where the taken-over Co absorbed our previously-highly-sucessful sub- business, and totally trashed it in less than 2 years). Then coincided this near collapse with the start of Covid lockdowns, forced layoffs, etc.

This made me logically work out ‘where I stood’, particularly w.r.t mortgage remaining, what redundancy they’d have to pay me, period of notice (another 3 months pay for me),  ‘rights’ to go job hunting if that happened  where I stood with the pension, and what the other companies in my industry were up to.

I found it (at least in my case) quite liberating. I could see exactly what the risk was (not just worry and worry by not really know) , and where the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ was. It allowed me to have a plan… kept my head down / chose not to pick fights with the arseholes ruining the Co during covid times (as there was no escape route for a year), and sussed out how I could leave without **** up the pension etc.  Every month I survived = lessened risk and closer to the exit of MY choosing.

My only regret was not having done this planning a year or two earlier.