“Don’t drive over narrow bridges when you are pissed out of your mind” – Senator Edward Kennedy
“Don’t try and admire the scenery whilst hurtling down very narrow singletrack” – Me
“If you are going to hit something with a hammer then hit it, fannying about with a toffee hammer like that is only going to piss it off! Skelp the bloody thing with a club hammer” – mech eng lecturer to student at uni
“You only have to carry a tool kit of 4 items in a landy, a tin of WD40, a roll of gaffa tape, a length of welding rod and a really big stilson…. If you can’t shift whatever’s stuck with the jaws of the stilson then flip it over and bash it a bit and is soon will” – my mate bob