Why aren't you getting married? Comedy replies?

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  • Why aren't you getting married? Comedy replies?
  • Premier Icon sam_underhill
    Subscriber

    At the weekend I know I’ll be in a social situation with loads of old friends’ parents who will doubtless ask us yet again why aren’t you getting married. In fact they’ll probably be so rude to ask why we aren’t planning on children as well!

    Anyway, we are very happy together and have been for the last 12 years and looking forward to spending our lives together but I’d love some comedy replies. Especially if it raises an old “stuck in the mud”s eyebrows.

    So, what’ya got?

    allthepies
    Member

    Marrying a transvestite isn’t legal yet ?

    coffeeking
    Member

    Takes more effort and commitment to remain un-married, no legal ties and no contract written, meaning marriages are the easy way out- they’re all lazy.

    emma82
    Member

    ‘I’m not a sheep: mooooo mooooo’

    Premier Icon mintimperial
    Subscriber

    marriages are the easy way out- they’re all lazy

    HA.

    Premier Icon Stu_N
    Subscriber

    “cos she’ll probably stop doing xxxx”

    monogramman
    Member

    I heard on TV once, a young couple kept being told “you’re next” by older family members when attending weddings.

    They started saying the same to the older family members, when attending funerals.

    derekrides
    Member

    Cos I’ve already done it twice?

    coffeeking
    Member

    “I am, you weren’t invited because you’re a knob who asks too many questions”

    yossarian
    Member

    I can’t marry her until my divorce to the twins cones through.

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    “Because I’ve seen how f*cking miserable you’ve all become since you got married”

    Or

    “I’m not getting married because I want to continue having sex”

    🙂

    DickBarton
    Member

    Living in Sin hasn’t become ‘normal’ and we enjoy sex too much for marriage to ruin it!

    Premier Icon sam_underhill
    Subscriber

    Good work! Keep ’em coming.

    TandemJeremy
    Member

    She isn’t pregnant?

    Munqe-chick
    Member

    The one I alwasy use which stops people dead is “well I don’t plan on being with Mr MC in 10 years time”, the first time I got silence then a hesitant “Does mr MC know this?” ….. I didn’t answer told them it was none of their business. Use it a lot now and it’s great. Why does society fell the need when you hit 30’s to say “when you getting married?” then “when you having children?” or “why aren’t you having unprotected sex?” is the version I prefer!

    Most people I know who get married get divorced …. so why waste your time and a WHOLE HEAP of money!!!

    Frankenstein
    Member

    What Woody said, (and I noticed about my friends and family). 😀

    woody2000 – Member

    “Because I’ve seen how f*cking miserable you’ve all become since you got married”

    Or

    “I’m not getting married because I want to continue having sex”

    alpin
    Member

    a few of the GF’s relatives at her sisters wedding asked the pair of us why we weren’t getting married (we’ve been together for – gulp- nigh on ten years, her sister and her man for two). the GF pointed at me and said “what… to him?”. we laughed.

    … i punched her later, mind. cheeky bitch.

    emma82
    Member

    Lol MC I always used to say ‘what’s the point, id only have to divorce him in a few years’. T’was by far my favourite response 😀 always got funny looks

    Premier Icon porter_jamie
    Subscriber

    oh, i thought you had died

    toab
    Member

    How about “cos with relatives / friends like you the gifts would be hideous”?

    TheBrick
    Member

    Because we are both gay, this is a sham relationship to make social situations easier.

    Or

    Because we figure we can each make more money by have sham immigration marriages for money.

    Or

    To make conversion, otherwise what would you have to talk to us about?

    coffeeking
    Member

    TJ has it so far

    TooTall
    Member

    Why does society fell the need when you hit 30’s to say “when you getting married?

    Possibly because this is still thought to be the norm by society, particularly those of an older generation? I don’t see why anyone would get so aersy about something like that once they appreciated the view of the world from another standpoint. Everyone has a different idea of ‘normal.

    project
    Member

    wse are married , we just didnt tell anyone.

    Isnt marrige what old people used to do,

    My boyfreind wouldnt let me marry a woman,

    highclimber
    Member

    Because I would lose my benefits.

    mudshark
    Member

    Because that would mean I’d have to stop seeing other women.

    Premier Icon ourmaninthenorth
    Subscriber

    We prefer expensive holidays to spending a fortune feeding and entertaining you lot

    andrewh
    Member

    To quote someone famous who’s name escapes me.
    .
    “I’m not going to get married. I’m just going to find a woman I don’t like and give her my house”
    .
    I think it may have been Woody Allen.

    a casual I already am has raised a few eyebrows before now.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Just tell them it’s a BLACK CARD situation. Make an actual black card to wave at them if it helps.

    crikey
    Member

    ‘Im not sure she’s the one for me yet, and I don’t want to rush into anything.’

    3 grown up children and 20 odd years in.

    We’re still waiting to find the right person.

    oh, i thought you had died

    Proper lol! 😆

    thomthumb
    Member

    mmm it’s awkward.

    court order

    don’t want to encourage her

    she wants me to give up the mistress

    because it is a foul outdated contract that allows a man to take ownership of a woman degrading her to a farm animal. is that what you believe in. is it? well is it?

    Premier Icon tonyg2003
    Subscriber

    I was going to buy her a ring and then thought F%^^ it I could get a good full sus bike for that money ( this STW after all)

    NorthernStar
    Member

    “Because I don’t love her”

    Premier Icon bruneep
    Subscriber

    because I’m her pimp.

    arrpee
    Member

    “Because she keeps running away when the drugs wear off”.

    stumpy01
    Member

    anagallis_arvensis – Member
    a casual I already am has raised a few eyebrows before now.

    Similar to this, I was going to suggest one of you saying:

    “He’s/She’s already married. It would make things complicated if we got hitched too”

    Premier Icon MartynS
    Subscriber

    my wife would object….

    Nonsense
    Member

    Because she moans when i keep digging up the patio so I have somewhere to keep the hitchhikers.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 66 total)

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