Sample paragraph from the Maconie book

Oooh, isn’t this place in the north s**t, and that’s why is so brilliant, because its s**t and up north, near to Manchester where I’m from and that. And also the biggest reason its “brilliant s**t”, not proper s**t is because its not in the south. The s**t places down there, they are proper s**t because they are down south full of southern ponces.

I’m sure its a great read if you already share his view of the world but it really isn’t very endearing if you don’t and can therefore be a very slow painful read.

No chips on shoulders btw – the gravy stains your weskit, see?

Thanks, my keyboard is now full of tea.

Actually, that’s how you can tell. A house guest arrives. If you say “would you like a couple of tea?” then you’re in the North; if you say “would you like a cup of coffee?” then you’re in the South; and if you punch him in the face for not bringing any alcohol, you’ve strayed into Scotland.

Chester born and bred here and always considered it to be the North West. Definitely NOT the Midlands. No way Jose! And you get gravy in the chippy. Can’t beat chips n gravy. And bitter in the pubs. So there.

From my point of view Northern England starts as soon as I cross the border!

Strange how the question is always “where does Northern England start” not “where does Southern England start”

just a thought.

Portsdown Hill….

Anywhere that thinks rugby union is a pointless,kick and chase posh sport. And rugby league is proper rugby. 🙄

the midlands is the bit between the a303 and the m4 as far as i’m concerned. therefore the north south divide is roughly the thames.

liked the maconie book too.

Strange how the question is always “where does Northern England start” not “where does Southern England start”

I imagine that’s just cos the OP was talking about driving up the M1, so he was already in the South, heading North.

Anywhere that thinks rugby union is a pointless,kick and chase posh sport. And rugby league is proper rugby.

So… Twickenham upwards then?

iwluap – is it actually true that as a Chester resident you’re allowed to kill Welsh people with crossbows?

I would say, including and past Birmingham, dunno

Binners – that’s an often mentioned bit of trivia. Never tried it myself, don’t have a crossbow you see! Think modern day laws may take precedence..?

Binners – its longbows, not crossbows.
And only after dark within the city walls.
Allegedly

As stated previously it is known and recognised that Watford Gap services or I guess Rugby is the official north/south divide.

Northampton. The clue is in the name.

Northampton. The clue is in the name.

Presumably then, the South starts at Southampton?

Yep. With London in the middle.

As far as I’m concerned you draw a straight line from the wash to the Bristol channel taking great care to avoid birmingham, south of here is “the south.” then any northerners who care to have an opinion can draw a line where they think the north begins (possibly Manchester?). The no mans land that exists between these lines (which is possibly only populated by service stations anyway) can be called “the midlands” and avoided/ridiculed whenever possible.

When the BBC announced its move to Salford, there was a lot of hand wringing about this, with certain famous presenters refusing to cross into the barren, heathen lands of Alderley Edge.

There was an article about the concepts of “London” and “Not London”.

And this is what it’s really about. “London” is, as a friend of mine laughably puts it, the centre of the western world. But within London there’s loads of parts that are “Not London”.

It’s not a question of geography, but how connected one is to the establishment.

I’ve developed a meter that measures the levels of seething regional resentment towards our Capital City. It goes from 1 to 10. Once you’re past 5 then you’re officially ‘North’.

The midlands (Leicestershire is where I am from) is north by your definition then. Plenty of resentment to the shandy swillers round here….

Traditionally we’ve always considered “The South” to start at Watford Gap services. Anyone south of there dresses like a Pearly king or queen and speaks in rhymes as I understand it…. 😉

The midlands has never really had a border with “The North”. That one seems to be a bit vague?

ourmaninthenorth – Member

When the BBC announced its move to Salford, there was a lot of hand wringing about this, with certain famous presenters refusing to cross into the barren, heathen lands of Alderley Edge. Ah yes, the BBC paid for a ‘weekend away’ guided tour of places that their VIP employees would like to live.
These included Alderely Edge, Prestbury, Altrincham, Hale etc. Ending the tour for the slightly poorer employees at Ramsbottom and lesser known Lancashire spots.
Laughingly they were advised not to live near the Peak District (Maple, Mellor, New Mills etc.) as it regularly gets snowed in. I nearly spat out my tea on reading that little gem.

IMO South Manchester is the start of the North

IMO South Manchester is the start of the North end of the World

ftfy 🙄

Draw a line from the mouth of the Humber to the mouth of the Mersey, above this line is The North.

Below this line but above a line from The Wash to the Severn Bridge is the Midlands.

Below this second line is The South.

Where does northern England start – at the border with southern Scotland. Not sure where it ends tho – somewhere down south in the dull bits

A line thru chesterfield and chester – anything south of that is not a place worth living in does that help?

jfletch – Member

Sample paragraph from the Maconie book

Oooh, isn’t this place in the north s**t, and that’s why is so brilliant, because its s**t and up north, near to Manchester where I’m from and that. And also the biggest reason its “brilliant s**t”, not proper s**t is because its not in the south. The s**t places down there, they are proper s**t because they are down south full of southern ponces.

I’m sure its a great read if you already share his view of the world but it really isn’t very endearing if you don’t and can therefore be a very slow painful read.

Er, you know we don’t really mean it, don’t you?
It’s supposed to be a humourous way of celebrating diversity whist acknowledging a shared heritage.
Up here, we call it ‘humour’.
You know, like Jim Davidson down south.
For God’s sake, don’t ever move to Scotland or France.

btw, I think that bit in P & P was taking the mick out of Northeners who don’t really get what I said in the last paragraph.

Draw a line from the mouth of the Humber to the mouth of the Mersey, above this line is The North.

Below this line but above a line from The Wash to the Severn Bridge is the Midlands.

Below this second line is The South.

This is about right; I’m Yorkshire born and I would have let North Derbyshire in to be honest, well Mansfield, but below that is South.

There is no Midlands, just South.

Where does northern England start – at the border with southern Scotland

And just like England has the Midlands, you have the Borders – that land between Scotland and England.

For me the North starts somewhere south of where I’m from, Goole in my case. But I agree with a previous poster, it isn’t where you are from or where you live – but how you see life.

But I agree with a previous poster, it isn’t where you are from or where you live – but how you see life.

That’s a bit philosophical for an 8yr old when he asks “are we in the north yet dad?” 😕

“Son it doesn’t matter, you have Yorkshire blood running through your veins, you will always be in the North even though we are currently stuck in a traffic jam on the M25” 🙂

I can sense we are near a resolution on this one!

North England starts at Gretna, no?
😉

Well, living here in the heart of Yorkshire, North is anywhere further north of Harrogate or west of Bradford. The Midlands is out of sight, out of mind, since the Peaks are between us and due to the fact they’re not in a straight line between Yorkshire and London, they see little visitation rights. South is anything south of Barnsley. Not sure why we’re allowed to shoot armed Scotsmen within the city walls after dusk though, we like them. Should be southerners.

I start getting worried anywhere above the M4.

All points North of Oxford.

Cornwall is a foriegn country and north of Bristol is the North

ourmaninthenorth – Member

It’s not a question of geography, but how connected one is to the establishment.

*Dons elbow patches*

That is geography as well.

(Not England, I know) but it always makes me smile that the most northerly part of the British mainland is call SUTHerland 8)

it always makes me smile that the most northerly part of the British mainland is call SUTHerland

*buffs elbow patches*
Is the northernmost part of the mainland not in Caithness?

Oooh, Dunnet Head does indeed just beat Cape Wrath 😉

psling – Member
(Not England, I know) but it always makes me smile that the most northerly part of the British mainland is call SUTHerland

Blame those vikings!!