Couple of weeks ago.
I do it all the time,always have done.
My family and a few of my friends are the same.

… energy vampire …

Got a rich retired friend/colleague who is an absolute energy vampire and always want to talk to people and could go on forever. This sort of people are best avoided once and forever.

… I’d rather be able to count friends on one hand …

I have 5 that I can talk with more depth, others are just acquaintance who are probably more trouble than good.

You have five friends on one hand?

You have five friends on one hand?

I have 5 reliable friends.

No, I don’t speak to the hand. LOL!

How many do you have?

Kinda, but kinda not.

Like @mert, it’s not really done here in Sweden, but I have done, and will continue todo, drop a message to a friend I know lives in the area and see if they are awake/in/up for fika. It just means that they have less stress and I have a chance to be polite and get bullar or cake or something on the way.

We’ve repeatedly said people should just drop by if they are passing, but because we live a bit out in the country, it’s far easier for people to message first and check we are in.

As an aside, I had an old school friend come over from the U.K. to catch up the other week. No other reason than to have a meal and a couple of beers and talk about what had been happening in life for the last 15 years since we last spoke. That was really good, but took several weeks to organise.

I used to, fairly often, but in recent years, my working hours have meant I don’t get home until around 7pm, so got out of the routine. One of my school classmates and his wife, who was my first girlfriend, live literally about 100 metres away across the other side of the road from me, but I just never get around to popping over. Covid didn’t help, either. Some of my friends have family or various social things going on, and others are a significant car drive away – one, an ex-girlfriend who’s still a very close friend, lives 150 miles away right in the middle of the Cambridgeshire fens, not someone I can just pitch up, knock on the door and say, ‘hi, I was in the area, thought I’d just drop ‘round…’ 🤣

I haven’t seen her for around twenty years… ☹️

Actually went over to my friends over the road tonight. Took over an old road bike frame that’s been in the shed for years, a Viking Severn Valley; he’s very into rebuilding old road bikes, mine still has its original forks, but it needs a complete re-paint before it gets rebuilt.

Most people I know would hate it. They might not be prepared for people and their house might be a disaster. Mine is. Don’t come here unannounced, you won’t enjoy it! Give me a couple of hours’ notice though that’s cool. It’s not that I don’t want to see you, I just can’t handle the stress.

with close friends this does not matter.

TBH, I think the mobile changed how you visit,pre-mobile in my 20’s I’d pop around peoples houses but once m8s got one you’d always call ahead first.

Then you’d get the ‘ooh not a good time I’m shagging xxx’ as we used to that sort of thing back in the day 🙂

I’m ill, friends call round, sometimes unannounced. The house is a tip. It’s nice.

Wonder if there’s a culture thing.

My mum, grew up very poor in provincial Ireland in the 50s/60s – does it all the time – with close family, don’t even knock, just walk in and shout coo-ee! Still never locks the front door, is delighted if randoms turn up. I was always instructed as a child (in the 80s) when going to the shop to call in on Mrs Hill or Mrs Gillespie up the road and see if they needed anything.

My dad, lower-middle class English introvert, nope, never, not a chance. Wouldn’t dream of it, then or now. He’d sooner die shivering in the cold than feel he was imposing on someone. His sister even lives 200 yards away and he always calls first. Unless mum strong-arms him into it.

I also drove over to another friend’s place yesterday afternoon to see if she was back home, and say hello to her mum if she wasn’t. She spends a big chunk of the year managing YHA hostels, at the moment she’s been down in Pembrokeshire, previously up in Kendal. Fortunately she got back last week, so nice to catch up a bit.
Drinks to be arranged for sometime soon in the local pub.
We might only meet up once or twice a year, but we’ve always got loads to talk about when we do. I’ve known Fi for thirty-odd years, but she’s always had a rather nomadic lifestyle, making it difficult to see each other. And her mum’s lovely, always makes a fuss when I go over.

I only have 1 mate really who i can drive to… the rest are hours and hours away. So… errrrrm years and years ago.

Interesting topic. Personally. I wouldn’t think twice about popping in to friend’s if I’m passing. Would seem ruder not to, tbh, unless I was in a hurry to get elsewhere. One particular family, I pop into a lot because they live right next to where I do a lot of food shopping, so I pop in for a chat/wee/cuppa etc. They do they same if passing us. People do pop into ours a fair bit; yes, they’ll often text ahead but it doesn’t matter either way. Friends are friends. If it’s not convenient, then say so. No problem, see you next time. No biggie.

Wonder if there’s a culture thing.

I think it’s probably quite complex. I’d say class has a part to play as well; it’s not something a lot of middle class folk do, is it? Lots of artificially imposed ‘rules’ and etiquette. I don’t have time for all that bollocks. But yes, maybe it’s a particularly ‘English’ middle class thing.

Last week. Don’t see any issue if their friends.