Its the ones you don’t see coming that really hurt.

Couple of years ago riding along Pie Run at Glentress, didn’t see a root sticking out from the bank I was riding past. It caught the bike just above the front hub, it was like a really strong wooden hand had just grabbed my forks and stopped the bike dead.

I went pinging over the bars and landed about 6 feet away, completely oblivious as to why I’d taken flight and then used my face and chest as landing gear. As I picked myself up and gathered up the bike, which had flopped peacefully over onto the dirt bank like it was having a little rest, i spotted the root and pieced it together.

Nothing broken but was pretty bruised

^ Wow Bruce that’s quite a story. What level of sympathy did you receive on your return?

Not much, to be honest. If you asked her you’d think it was 100% my own fault.

Dalbeattie a few weeks ago. Had avoided most of the rock slab sections since, after a quick lap of the little skills loop, it became apparent that they were wet and greasy as hell. Got to one of the ‘roll along the top of a series of rock slabs’ sections and thought, “it’s out in the open, looks a bit drier, it’s downhill slightly, 12-15 metres so fairly short, the alternative is a nasty rut down the grass. It’ll be fine…”

…It wasn’t fine.

3/4 of the way down my front wheel washed out to the right, and I got launched – fortunately I was on flats rather than clips so just got ejected. No major injury but I have existing neck problems anyway and it jarred and sent me cross-eyed for a couple of minutes.

September-
On canal towpath, overtaking people, on the grass near the water, riding too fast, looking at phone, thinking about dinner …. hit a mooring post.

OTB towards water and hit a moored barge head first. Not quite on the rear deck and slump into the water. Luckily the boat owner came to pull me out as I was pretty dazed.

Helmet smashed. Fractured rib(s?). Knee swelled so much I couldn’t bend it more than 20 degrees or so. Usual random bloody scrapes. Phone and pump lost to the water.

I hope it was amusing to the people that witnessed it 🙂 they were nice about it though.

Basically, crashing into the canal might not be fun even if it is a hot day and you like swimming!

Ton.
Get well quick big man.

Its the ones you don’t see coming that really hurt.

Tru Dat

Came off 3 weeks ago on a turn that I do most mornings.
There had been a public event in the park the day before and they hadn’t been round to clear up ,so I suspect there had been some food/beer/bodyfluid left on the path (slabs).
Came down quick but got away with just a chunk off an elbow as I slid into the flowerbeds.
Felt a complete muppet doing it in front of all the regular commuters 🙂

After years of not crashing, I binned it a couple of times summer just gone, I’m taking as a positive that I’m ‘pushing’ a bit again.

Group Ride with some lads on twitter (#UKMTBCHAT), tried to manual a rocky stream coming down The Gap Brecon at a milionty miles per hour (probaly more like 15mph), I not sure what I caught but the bike went sideways, caught it but just when I thought I got away with it I hit something else, bike just stopped and I went OTB into a lovely soft patch of rocks. A bit winded, bruised for weeks afterwards.

Couple of weeks before riding Twrch at Cwncarn, there’s a section called Odin, the descent is just a bunch of S bends, if you know them well, which I do, quite a few of them you can jump/cross rather than actually turning, it makes 7/10ths of bugger all difference to your speed, but it feels cool to me. Well I messed one up, landed awkwardly and humped the bars, I’d resigned myself to a big OTB stack, but just when all hope was lost, the massive bank on the left appeared in view and I threw myself at it and sort of slid down it.
I was never a massive fan of Ali G, and frankly I’d have to be reminded who he was – but somewhere deep down in my subconscious something was awoken and once I’d decided I wasn’t dead and there weren’t jagged shared of broken bones sticking out of me I shouted “Booyakasha!” jumped back on my bike and **** set the place on fire – slashed my Strava times in a couple of places, I’ve got something like 80+ runs of the place in Strava so it’s not an easy thing for me to get cups on anymore.

I do try to unleash the beast a bit when I crash, I think that if I jump straight back on I’ll be less likely to lose my Mojo, it sorta works – post Cwmcarn I was timid for a few rides, post Brecon though I was nervous for weeks and weeks.

Last night.

Perfectly angled root deflected my front wheel and I was heading off trail. Corrected course and the front wheel gave up, turning into a high side that I managed to avoid with a full speedway reverse lock at the last moment, the consequence of which was continuing lack of front wheel grip, pushing me into a low-side and a full 180 so I was facing up the trail lying on my side.

No damage because the spin took all the energy out. I count it as an epic save, because the high-side would have sent me down a wooded back at high speed and I don’t think I would have got away with it.

Following a flock of sheep being driven down a lane by the farmer, after showing off my awesome trackstand skillz for a bit, went to put a foot down, it stuck on the pedal, slow keel over sideways. Various cuts and bruises. His daughter seemed impressed.

Most recent major wipeout was a high speed front wheel washout in the ford which appears in the opening credits of ‘All Creatures Great and Small’* . Needed a bit of hospital de-gritting and stitching up after that one.

*If you were born after the 70s, this is not a valid reference.

Last bad crash was a few years ago, last gasp of summer in Friston, sunlight flickering through the leaves and coming down “Doris and Burt” trail at telephone numbers when I spotted something ahead that my brain couldn’t figure out what it was.   My closing speed was massive and I realised rather late it was a bloke walking up the trail dressed in woodland camo!

I managed to steer off the trail with a flick and miss him but as I turned back onto the trail the tyres cried enough and I high sided with most of my horizontal speed being translated into UP.  I smashed into the floor on my head and side.  As I sat there waiting for my eyes to look in the same direction woodland camo man didn’t even look back to see what the horrible noise was…..GIT.   I got back on the bike did another 10 miles or so before starting to feel very sore and odd.  Got home to find I had cracked my helmet and couldn’t sleep properly for months as one side hurt from Sternum to bottom of rib cage every time I turned over.

This year was a stupid OTB as I rode over a block of granite on Dartmoor showing off to Mrs M (I’m 50, we’ve been married nearly 30 years………..)  Basically the bike wedged itself on the granite and I pushed myself OTB.  Whacked my elbow really well and crunched the carbon lever of my SRAM Ultimates.  This may well have been a Gin hangover  fuelled incident.

Out in the woods I mucked up an icy diagonal log jump. Went down sideways, faster than gravity, and landed on the extending dog lead I had clipped to my backpack hip belt.
That was a year ago, the two huge bruises went but there is still swelling and a tingly feeling. Dr says if its not gone by now it probably won’t.

Bike Park Wales. On the very first trail before you even get to the uplift. Thought I’d pop a jump, got sideways then also landed sideways. Badly bruised all over, confidence shot. Had about 2 runs to try and ride it off before realising I actually had done something really rather painful.

Bike Park Wales. On the very first trail before you even get to the uplift.

Notorious for crashes that bit of trail.

Maybe it’s nerves/excitement but I always get bucked on those jumps, front wheel goes no where, rear takes off like a rocket.

Last snowy period, probably February. All I did was ride round to my mates to see if he was coming out. Crashed on his path on some ice and hit my knee. He came out to see if I was ok and I claimed I was fine and then I went out for a snowy solo ride. At the furthest point out my knee gave up all movement and swelled up like a melon.
3 months of physio for ligament and muscle damage and it’s ok again.

Out with the boy back in the summer,local woods. Just cycled through the car park and the fire road begins to fall gradually meaning you can pick up a bit of speed. Turned left onto the first trail and the front wheel unexpectedly washed out sending me onto my side. Lay there for a few moments before the lad caught up, saw me lying on the ground. Large bruise to my hip which is still there and bruised ribs which ached for weeks. On closer inspection it appears to be a concrete slab with some loose gravel on top exactly before the turning. Having never lost the front wheel on the fatty, this little off has reminded me that I’m not invincible. Heal well and quickly OP!!

On a cx bike trying to do some trails near leith hill. White lightening I think? Over the bars on a jump, landed on back of hand and chin 😂. Took a while to mend but nothing major was done.

I reckon I got very very lucky at the Hope MTB Marathon in September, big OTB on the descent from Jacobs Ladder, if anyone knows that descent its full of baby head boulders, however I just landed in a dead stop on my head, neck and shoulder, didn’t move, not a scratch anywhere else – X-ray was clear, pain has more or less subsided, about 3 days after I got intense pain in my neck on the opposite side, still twinges a bit, could have been a life changer

Three months ago, coming back to the car park in FoD after doing the hard stuff, knee had a hole in it you could see the kneecap through, done a couple of ribs and fracture my collarbone in 3 places.

May of this year for me, hit a 10ft drop blind and at speed, which unbeknown to me had steep steps on, unfortunately hit the unsighted from the top steps.

Ended up in hospital for 5 days, a bleed on the brain, still not able to drive due to the dvla making me surrender my licence, no memory of the first few days or the accident.

Helmet did its job though!

Whistler this summer.

Did some blacks and they were ace! Did some double blacks, they were amazing and went well.

Couple of daft crashes and wrote my front then rear wheel off. First one just pushed straight on on a corner and stuffed my front wheel into a tree. Off to the bike shop.

Next day, second run over the bars and somehow ripped 3 spokes out the rear rim. Back to the bike shop.

Back out at lunch time. Did crank it up, a blue I’d done every day for a weeks to warm up.

After the second corner there are several hours missing. I don’t remember the lift to the clinic, any of the xrays or ct scan. I remember a doctor saying “you don’t remember me “. I had no idea who they were. I also have no memory of what they looked like.

Fortunately that was the day before I went home! I made it home safe and sound with just 2 migraines with auras.

All that was through a full carbon Dh full face helmet! I’m pretty glad I did whatever happened with that on.

I’m fully militant about wearing helmets now.

The day before christmas 2017. I have never been to keen on drops, but after reading some tips on the subject on STW, I decided to give it a go. Cycling along the harbour on my way to the trail, I spotted a 30 cm drop, and went for it. Upon landing, the bike vanished from beneath me… I came down hard on my side, right in front of the panoramic Windows of the most expensive restaurant in town. Bleeding from my elbow, and my knee, my helmet cracked, my brand new rear derallieur (5 kilometers on it) torn off. Went to get my bike from the edge of the water, waved to the people eating fancy food, and started walking home. My hip was yellow/purple/green/black for six months. The elbow still feels weird when it gets cold.

Worst was about a year ago, just coming down a fire trail, not technical just a bit steep. Think I washed out the front wheel and over the bars, luckily was riding with a a mate. Unconcious for about 10 mins then walked out to the ambo (wanted to ride home apparently). 3 column break of T11 and broken occipital condyle (base of skull where spine attaches). Don’t remember the week in hospital afterwards. Luckily no long term issues although the head injury does worry me.

My biggest and most prominent was at the end of Bristol Bikefest in 2012 on that ******** stupid jump they put out at the end. I was a bit knackered and basically lacking in any talent but decided to jump off it. Went OTB in front of massive finish line crowd. Which was bad enough, but also managed a Grade 3 shoulder separation which has never fully recovered.

Definitely not the last time but in the Hero Dolomites this summer some guy overtook me on a wee incline so to be clever I tried to jump back past him as we turned down into a gravel track. Jumped ok but wiped out as I landed. Guy asking in broken English if I was ok and me apologising for being such a knob. Only lycra on so quite a bit of blood. Unfortunately still had 7 hours riding to go.

Most recent was on the Cotic Owner’s ride on the Sunday after the Steel is Real weekend at the FOD. Riding along a narrow bit of single-track with bushes either side and the rider in front of me pinged a bramble back and it swung into my handlebars. It decided to grab my rear brake,putting it fully on so I wobbled off to the right. Stayed up but went straight into the hedge on the right and came to an immediate stop. Felt a bit winded but nothing out of the ordinary. Carried on with the ride but for some reason had no confidence any more so wimped out of an easy steep drop and finished the ride. Got back to the car and as I was getting changed realised that my base layer wouldn’t come off my right side for some reason. Gave it a good pull and it came off but I was in absolute agony and there was blood dripping down my side. Looked at the base layer and just above the hip was a blood stain about 2 inches across, exactly the same size as the now bleeding skin in the same place on me! I must have caught a branch or one thing going into the bush and it grazed me. Cue clotting making the base layer like one giant plaster and removing it was like a giant waxing strip. Took 6 weeks for that to heal, including it getting infected and having to take antibiotics.

Last night ! Out on the cx in Trent park. I didn’t see a root under the leaves and SLAM! I went down like a sack of cursing potatoes. Luckily the ground was soft so I got away with minor bruising and a muddy bum.

bloody heck people. think I got away lightly after reading some of your stories.

be careful kids………….. ;o)

June, Parkamoor (Lake District), combination of too much speed and front wheel stuck in a rut going one way, centre of mass going a different way, resulting in a high side and injured rib. I can’t say for sure whether it was broken, but it was damned painful and took there weeks to heal properly. I did manage the red route at Grizedale the following day though, with a few expletives…

In February we had freezing rain – I knew it was coming and stayed off likely problem routes, but there was one section of track where the ice was so thick that it took me by surprise, leading to a completely out of control slide on my side for about 20 m on ice with stones protruding through at regular intervals, resulting in some tremendous grazing but nothing more serious.

It the bars then draping myself over a log. Back wheel came out end everything.

Best one was a Buchanan Street Glasgow and front wheel washed out in due to bin lot diesel. I slid for miles before coming to a halt. Feet still strapped in I lay there is histerics unable to free myself. And this drunk guy serious drunk came running for miles to make sure I was okay. He could barely stand but he was still more use than my mate who could stand but was just laughing his head off.

August 2017 iirc, heading across Old Winchester Hill plateau to attempt Bell Hill cat3 climb for first time. Just past Sustainability Centre there’s a steep fast right sweeper, just before you turn left to do main bit of Mercury Drop to Oxenbourne Lane.

Came to the sweeper and noticed very late there was gravel all over my side of Droxford Rd, plus what looked like a car foot well mat…

Slow motion feeling of knowing I’m understeering and won’t make the corner, just managed to scrub enough speed to avoid a moderate tree trunk, fall on my left side and slide into the grass/hedge.

Car behind me were great, helped me clean up my grazes and continued to my climb, felt sore after i got back for a few days!

Yesterday, kitesurfing in Cape Verde.

Chicken look self-released in the waves… managed to get it sorted then I happened again a minute later. Started self rescuing when a wave hit me and tangled me up in lines. All wrapped round my fingers, toes and neck… Kite still trying to fly as not fully depowered….

Properly thought my moment was up.

Got back eventually, took an hour to untangle and sort lines. Most importantly the kite was unharmed. Had another go so my confidence wasn’t ruined. About to have another session which I’m sure will be fine. I’m less a little finger flesh though!

That finger! Ouch!

My most recent crash happened as I was putting my first pedal stroke after coasting across a roundabout on my way to work. It transpired that my lockring had come away from the cassette (no idea how!) but as I was in 11th gear, the chain slipped and I got highsighded off the bike. Luckily there were no cars behind me. There was, amusingly, a trail of soy milk from the carton that had exploded in my pack! I’m grateful that I keep spare clean clothes at work!

My second most recent crash was after a decent ride in the peaks, gently riding along a bridleway, went slightly off trail to give a group of walkers plenty of space and as I rejoined the trail my inside pedal hit the floor. Spat me right over the bars. There was a group of other mtbers behind me who stopped ans checked I was ok. I was, but I felt like a bit of a plank!

Happily both crashes only resulted in minor scrapes and soreness.

This morning.

There was as much friction as a shaved seal in a olive oil dressing in mine woods today. If it wasn’t ice, it was mud….

Cue a huuuuage two wheel slide on an off camber section (sorry for the erosion) for about 10-15metres, followed by knee, elbow and face into mud – while eldest_oab rides it out ahead of me…

Worse one was years ago. Hit a dog a speed went OTB, faceplanted and scorpioned on hitting the deck, broken vertebrea was in HRI for a week. Last hurty one was at BPW (One a chuffin’ blue aswell!) landed hard on my shoulder on the first run of the day.

At the start of the year i was at Glentress and went over a tiny drop (kerb size) at the bottom. Done it hunners of times but this time my foot slipped off and i landed on my RHS. Was fairly sore at the time but went up to the skills area for a few jumps and took the blue back down to the bottom. It was only when i got home to take my top off i noticed it had turned a purple colour and was sticking to my fore-arm, but not even a rip in my top or coat. A&E gave me 4 stitches

Last time I crashed and burned, @ton, you visited me in the aftermath.

CYB few years ago. Spent 3 hours riding the rocky trails kind of ok. Finished, riding the little trail up to the cafe, looked back with a proud sigh and a smile…. instantly fell off, down a gully, cut my face open. In view of the cafe

Early summer I was going for a KOM on a downhill and clipped a fallen tree trunk on my right at about 30mph. On the left of the trail is a 4-5ft deep gully and I hit the bottom of that with just the top of my head. Nothing else, just poleaxed the ground hard. Thanks to POC I think I escaped lightly though my neck has only just stopped being painful. It was extra-stupid for two reasons: 1) I knew the tree and the gully were there because 2) I already had the KOM, I just wanted more than 1 second lead. Definitely learned a lesson.

Wild starfish manoeuvre on my local trails this morning, didn’t so much as go otb’s just propelled my nuts into my stem which stopped them quite effectively, and then bike and I flipped over into mushy vegetation at the side of the trail. Cause was too much speed and a sudden change of mindset from riding God to dad tasks, then all of a sudden I was looking at my right hand which should have been on the bars but appeared to be flipping me the bird.

In fairness I got off pretty lightly. Couple of knocks and aches, my little lads are singing ‘love me tender’ and my lower back is aching like a mo fo, so assume I over extended. Numbing the pain with some cheap red wine and thinking tomorrow morning will make me feel old.

I would like it noted I finished my usual loop, but will admit to it being a tad slower than normal.

Couple of years ago about this time I had a spate of stupid falls. Damaged a wrist in one, broke a rib in another. All were inexplicable (well, apart from one where my bar caught a fallen tree and I almost fell 30 metres into the Spey). Fingers crossed, I’ve mostly managed to stay upright since then.

I did have a small slide in Morzine in July but the main one was the campsite descent in Hayfield in February this year and my riding has slowed a lot since then, diffidently a guardian angle watching me that day. Full crank into the wood just before the sender and ended up on the wrong line , wheel stopped out front and i didnt taking the bike with me over the top, i ended up in a pile of rock on my back. Just glad I bought the back pack with a back protector.. forks wreck rear mech grips seat ,and my leg wrist head and nose in blood, NOT THE BEST FINISH TO A RIDE, the sweats and shakes that evening indicated shock, tbh I should have gone to hospital.Slowed right down since