What time does your 11yo go to bed?

Mine’s just about to start high school, what’s a good bed time?

On school nights we begin the turning off electronics, having a last thing to eat and drink if needed, wind down,  clean teeth get in bed process at 8.30 to get to a usual sleep time between 9 and 9.30. Probably closer to 9.30.

He seems to get up nice and early to give him self time for a gentle waking up, breakfast infront of the tv, to be at school for 8.45.

If we notice he is struggling cos off illness or workload or whatever then we enforce an early night.

School holidays all bets are off and he and his elder sister both pretty quickly become nocturnal

About 2 hours after we start trying.

Normally heads up about 9ish to do some reading and then takes the opportunity to open up and have a chat for as long as poss. Normally asleep by 10, and then awake by 6ish. Would much prefer he slept more but he’s but never been a long sleeper.

Choose a getting up time, should be the same weekdays and weekends, and then use this for reference and work backwards.

What @MrPotatoHead said. In theory she’s in bed for 2030 with lights out at 2100 but in practice we strongly suspect there is secret torchlight reading.

Yup – around 8.30 to 9.30 seems reasonable.

Our girls have just completed yr10, we get push back, but we still aim for lights out (and 100% no phones) for 10pm.

Pretty much what Steve-g said – electronics are in a drawer downstairs by 8, prepped and in their rooms by 8:30 expected to be sleeping by 9.

Ahh fudge, I am a bad parent

Of course the kids will tell you that their friends go to bed 2 hours after they get up, they have sweets to eat, have a widescreen TV and probably coke and hookers, but just set your rules.

Also similar to MrPotatoHead – electronics off at 8, in bed at 9 – time for getting school stuff ready for the next day, reading and wind down; lights out at 9:30ish. Usually up again at 6ish – has always been an early riser. School days, weekends and holidays are all pretty much the same.

Edit: 11yo, but year 7 (August birthday)

Our 11 year old usually disappears into her room early evening and is asleep around 9 or 10. No problem in getting her up for school in the morning. We are more strict with our soon to be 9 year old who has to go up by 8 to settle down. Lights out for him about 9 if he’s still awake. Our 3 year old goes up to bed as soon as Cbeebies finishes at 7. ?

Of course the kids will tell you that their friends go to bed 2 hours after they get up, they have sweets to eat, have a widescreen TV and probably coke and hookers, but just set your rules.

Going through this now. Except almost for real.

Both my sons best buddies are pretty much feral, both sets of parents have little to no interest in bed times, nutrition, suitability of games, films, TV shows and so on. Ex and i have jointly agreed no sleep overs and visits are (generally) capped at about 8-8:30. One kid (lives in the village) has turned up at my exes at both stupid early and late (before 7 and after 10) to ask if son “wants to play”. Other kid (lives rurally) has been spotted ripping round the lanes (pretty much as far as school grounds) on his and his dads quads. (Neither of which are road legal.)

Son isn’t happy.

Ah well, he’ll get over it.

Electronics off at 7.30-8, teeth cleaning and “bed prep” starts at 8:30, lights out at 9 weekdays, 9:30 weekends.

Head up 9, story for a bit then sleep by 10 ?

Depends what time they need to be up.

At 11 yrs old our lad needed about 11hrs sleep

About to turn 13. Electronics off before dinner. Lights out at 8.45pm. He tends to go to bed 8-ish to read though.

Wake up is 6.45am unless there’s a riding trip needing earlier rise.

8.30-9 usually, no electronics after 7pm. Some week nights it’s closer to 10 due to football, scouts, cricket etc. but generally in bed by 9.

Of course the kids will tell you that their friends go to bed 2 hours after they get up, they have sweets to eat, have a widescreen TV and probably coke and hookers, but just set your rules.

My big sister pulled that one so my dad phoned the parents of all her friends while she watched getin redder and redder with embarrassment.

It was mega to watch. It still gets mentioned 30years later.

We used to taper towards bed time – screens off at least 30 mins before, chill out / read etc.

We used to also do all electronics downstairs, they never had TV or computer in room until about 14-15, and even then it started with a laptop that was taken downstairs overnight. By 16/17 they had PC and we were tapering off parental control of such things.

At start of secondary they were at 9pm.

Kids will always lie about thier bedtime, to mates and to you.
And there’s always a bunch of parents who don’t have the same parenting approach as you. And they are not parenting my kids, I am. So other parents approach isn’t a concern of mine or an influence on our parenting decisions.

My son is 13 now, it has always been around 9ish for a few years. Phone not in room. It can slip to 10, or earlier if he seems tired…I am often in bed before him these days.

In bed and reading by 21:00 – Sunday to Thursday, 21:30 Friday and 22:00 on Saturdays. It’s likely around 30-60mins after each of those when he finally goes to sleep.  He gets himself up at 06:45 pretty much every day.

Our ten year old has no screens after seven and is in bed between eight thirty and nine depending on what’s happening. More flexible at weekends and over the holidays.

@joshvegas That is priceless. We’ve just said to no. 1 “no they don’t, and if they say they do, they’re just trying to look big”.

No screens is important – our two are not allowed them in their rooms overnight.

Bed at 8, phones lock then, he’s usually asleep by 9 after reading for a bit

No screens is important – our two are not allowed them in their rooms overnight.

100% this. I’m sure we’ve all got similar tales but a couple of my son’s friends (10-11 y/o) are regularly messaging at 3 and 4 in the morning. I always feel like WTAF? Feels like all semblance of boundaries and good practice have gone out of the window there.

We have twin boys, one needs a whole shed load of sleep more than the other.  They are now 13, a few years ago they used to go to bed 9pm, now they go to bed at the same time as us 9.30 to 10pm.

Oh no screens after dinner, except family TV.  PC’s off and phones live downstairs on charge every night.  We have a rule we can look at any device at any time.

No phone for ours yet. Won’t be having one until he reaches high school and then he’ll have to earn it.

Our 7 year old (8 in September) is regularly still awake at 9:30, and that’s with being in bed at 8:00.

The just turned 5y.o goes to bed at the same time, and will state he’s staying awake and promptly flake out within minutes.

At some point the eldest will be allowed to stay up a little later but the little brother isn’t going to be happy about it…

@kramer she’s up at 0545 for skating on a Saturday so that can **** right off.

Bed is around 2030 to 2100, she gets ready about half an hour before. At that age I was in bed around the same time during term time and up at a similar time.

@squirrelking getting up early one day a week doesn’t cause so many problems, it’s lying in that tends to be an issue.

Hmm, maybe if it’s a regular thing but if she’s so tired she doesn’t wake until half 10 then I’d rather she got the rest. I’d say sitting on your arse all day is worse.

My biggest issue is actually getting them into bed.  Not once in their entire 13 years have they ever taken themselves to be without fighting each other.  They are bloody awful!