What have airport security removed from your luggage?

A few years back, Majorca airport security took out with delight and performance my Evans freebie pedal spanner and promptly dumped it in their bin whilst showing the whole queue. They gave me too much credit to my bodgering skills, even I can’t dismantle an aeroplane in mid-air. I was gutted.

Next flight, didn’t even notice the Swiss army knife in my jacket pocket, which I had forgotten about.

Which brings me to my question.  What unusual items have security removed from your luggage..?

Not that odd really but I got called to the gate in Geneva airport where a handler had my hold bag. The offending item was a gas canister adapter that looked a lot like an actual gas canister on the x-ray. They were very mellow about it really.

Unopened pack of 4x AA batteries from hold luggage scanned on entry to the terminal at Kampala. Treated like an unexploded bomb (and me a terrorist).

This was a few days after a bomb went off in the city to be fair.

Geneva, Swiss Army knife accidentally left at the bottom of my carry on rucsack on the trip home.. Was gutted but managed to retrieve it from their property office a month or 2 later.

Luton, friend of mine was asked did you pack this yourself sir? As they pulled a jar of Pataks sauce out of his hand luggage. His wife had snuck it in there.

£70 from the money clip on my wallet when it was stupidly busy and trying to manage 3 kids logistics at Gatwick security. Didn’t notice until I went to pay at Pret. Thieving gits (well, one of them, anyway)

Multitool in a waist pack inside my carry on. Forgot it was there so fair cop. The missed the small Swiss pen knife in the same waist pack though…

Once had a massive row in Amsterdam Schipol about some dosimeter film badges which couldn’t  go through the x-ray scanner (for obvious reasons.) I had a letter explaining it and everything. I eventually won the toss after it being referred up to some security supremo.

The large leather man type multi tool I had spent the previous month looking for.

The nice x ray man found it for me in my hand baggage. He was mildly apologetic while putting it the bin.

Tiny folding scissors made it through many x-rays before finally being binned. I hadn’t realized something with 0.5cm long blades could be considered a weapon. Less dangerous than my door key in my eyes.

Small Camping gas canister in my hold luggage. I’d forgotten about it and was summoned over the tannoy pooping myself all the way as the needed my permission to bin the mostly empty £5 canister. I was eye rolled at quite severely for that. Which seemed reasonable

A metal dining knife from my briefcase.

I didn’t know it was there but they spotted it on the X-ray and after a very careful search of the bag found it had slipped into the lining.  It was covered in dried avocado because I’d taken it to work a few days before to cut up an avo for lunch and forgot about it.  They were remarkably understanding.

Sex toys, lots of them.

It was my stag do and on the train to Gatwick, my mates made me change into traditional Arab dress. Whilst in the toilet, they filled my carry on with quite an impressive selection. I didn’t know what half of it was.

The female security guard couldn’t stop laughing.

I didn’t start.

Nice little folding knife I’d found,  then forgotten about in my rucksack. I was convinced the bloke was just looking at the wire frame of the bag, then…

“Oh, THAT knife!” 🙂

A very expensive thing taken was a green laser pointer when green laser pointers were very rare (I think 2002) – their justification was that on the front it said danger….

Most amusing things had in my bag and not realised was a Phillips number 2 screwdriver that I carried through New York twice and Amsterdam about three times before I found it in the bottom of my bag…..

Had a bizarre interaction at a Spanish airport over the x-ray of my bike bag. I’d packed the bars alongside the forks and strapped them together for protection.

Unfortunately the brake lever position looked very like a trigger guard and trigger on the image, I was there asking what the problem was and they showed me the screen. It was all hilarious afterwards, obviously. At no point did they think to actually take a look

300mm long stainless steel crack reinforcement bar. Thinks twisted stainless skewer with a very sharp point.

Pair scissors

And a stanley knife.

That was one flight ?

Calgary airport. Rather expensive gerber multitool that my wife hadn’t removed from her rucksack she was using as hand luggage after a few weeks biking . I was a tad annoyed. (Obviously I would have been more annoyed if I’d paid for it myself but it was a freebie from work).

Not removed, questioned or confiscated, but I once left my work laptop on the conveyor belt at security as I was flying out to meet a client…and I didn’t realize until the following day just before the training session I was supposed to be delivering.

Luckily I was able to free-style the training from memory!

I picked up the laptop from the airport lost and found when I flew home and told no one what happened!

A table knife at Sharm el Sheikh airport. I’d been on a weeks diving trip where one of the other guests had brought some sort of virus with them. I was feeling like crap and was undecided if I was going to dive one day but got on the boat anyway. I certainly couldn’t face the food on board so took some bread, cheese and marmite in my daypack which had an insulated pocket for precisely that reason. Security were being very friendly and chatty (knowing a few words of Arabic makes a huge difference) and as I went to walk off the called me back saying I had a knife in my pack. I assumed they were joking but they became quite insistent so I opened the insulated pocket…

..oh how we laughed…

A couple of years later I was at Zagreb airport after a couple of weeks in Croatia doing some deep(ish) wreck diving with my rebreather. We had just cleared security when the chap from the oversize baggage counter started calling my name and had security escort me through the bowels of the airport to a garage sized room with very thick doors… There on the table was the crate containing my rebreather and I was instructed to open it and display the contents while the staff waited outside. Once they were happy I was allowed to head to the BA lounge to enjoy free grub.

At Athens last Saturday I was made to drain the contents of my Yeti bottle or chuck it in the bin by a lady who admitted that the current rules were rediculous.

Had fun chats with a TSA chap at LAX about the item in my bag inscribed with “This device is capable of killing you without warning”. He was understandably suspicious and trying to explain how a diving rebreather works took a while.

A metal ‘toy’ gun when I was a kid. I was not amused. Bloody parents fault.

“This device is capable of killing you without warning”

KISS? I took a similar warning off my YBOD before senior management spotted it.

4″ curved Kyrgyz ceremonial dagger and sheath….in Heathrow.
The things you get given when you meet up with old uni friends who are scattered around the world.

Almost forgot

Schiphol the other week, bloke in front of me’s bag on the scanning queue. Sudden massive interest in the bag. The scanning stops and we all have to wait 45 mins for the military police to turn up to search his bag. They pulled out a toy gun that was suitable for an action man….

We all had to wait for an hour whilst this went on as no one could touch any bag till he had been fully processed. And the to cap it all the guy with the toy gun got out and to passport control before the rest of us !

A very expensive thing taken was a green laser pointer when green laser pointers were very rare (I think 2002) – their justification was that on the front it said danger…

had this happen in Frankfurt airport for a return flight to manchester just the other year. Green laser pointers are cheaper now but not cheap. As there was plenty of time before my flight the very understanding security folks suggested that if I wanted to keep it I could pop back and check my bag. Which I did.

It was only after I’d gone through the checkpoint again that I realised I should not have put my Li-ion powered laptop in my, now, hold luggage. Oh well.

A mate had to post his (very expensive, might have been one of those ornate Campag) pedal spanners home once – was in his hand luggage at Stansted Airport as we were flying out to Italy.

He had to go back out into the airport, buy a padded envelope and take it to the airport post office.

Cost him a fortune in postage.

Got called to security at Frankfurt airport over the tannoy and spent a very stressful time with the missus and the security boys looking at a very suspicious dense round item on the x ray that looked very, very like a Claymore mine. Yes it’s my bag, yes I packed it, no nobody could have altered it, no I don’t have a clue what that item is.

We both insisted we had no idea what it was until it eventually clicked that it was a waffle iron given to us by the MiL as a Christmas present.

The security team were also deeply relieved by this point.

KISS?

Jetsam’s finest! 🙂

On the flip side ,whenever I’m at the NEC  (twice a year) they always search my wheelie suitcase.

In the last 10 years no one has found my multi tool with a blade on it that I carefully hide in the front pocket.

Had a bizarre interaction at a Spanish airport over the x-ray of my bike bag..

…..they showed me the screen.

Had something similar when leaving Gran Can with my bike. Had stuffed the bime box full of tyres and helmets that I took from the shop in lieu of decent wages.

Was really surprised how detailed the scan was. You could see through the form and could see the coil. Headset cups and seat post through the steel frame.

It was then I realised that trying to smuggle drugs inside a frame was not a good idea and said as much to my old colleague who due to leave a week later.

I was gutted when I got my suitcase back at Heathrow to find the Chinese customs in Beijing had taken 8 of my camera batteries. They were £50 each!

Never made that mistake again.

A ziplock bag full of white powder, in Bangkok airport.

I went a bit pale when I realised why they’d opened up my bag but they then looked at the chalk bag and climbing shoes with it and that was that. I just didn’t think through my mess-free packing and for a moment I wondered how much hassle or what level of cavity search it was going to earn me.

Small D-lock at Biarritz airport, which was still in my hand luggage. Think I’d flown out with it there too. I asked what the problem was and the customs bod made a gesture suggesting that I could hit someone over the head with it. We both then looked at my heavy, spikey pedals in a plastic bag……she let me keep them.

Used to travel internationally with a toolcase and PLC cards – I often ended up sticking Fluke oscilloscope leads into plug sockets or doing the hold both leads body resistance to demonstrate what it was. Always checked it into the ‘questionable hold luggage’ scanner to avoid too much hassle.

That same Fluke cost me a bottle of whiskey and a full carton of Marlboro’s to get out of Morocco DHL customs when I forgot it once and had it shipped out.

I was using it today at work 20years on from the above – awesome bit of kit.

a really expensive bottle of lemonchello Id left jn my hand luggage, it had been there whilst island hoping and id forgot for the flight home.

debated drinking it in security but thought better off it

had been bought to celebrate the birth of my first son so was really pissed off.

I was given the third degree by a rookie security bod at Bournemouth once. They didn’t like the long hoses on my diving regulators stating they could be used to strangle someone. They completely missed the irony of me rethreading my belt with its heavy buckle and pointy bit during this interaction. Luckily a grownup overheard and asked if I was off to Malta (I was) and wished me good diving.

Speaking of searches at the NEC, I go to the shooting show each year. I really do wonder what they’re looking for when they search people? Because you can buy guns at the shooting show and ammunition as well as knives and I have over the years bought all three!

Perhaps it’s like the good old days of cinema when they didn’t let you take your own food in?

Swiss Army Knife a few months after 9/11 on my first trip to the US. Trouble was, we’d flown Manc – Heathrow – JFK before it was found in my jacket.

SWMBO was stopped in line for a cruise, also stateside, in fact it stopped the entire embarkation hall when they found a large bullet in her case. .5″ at least. It was her contact lens cleaning holder thing, that has a vaguely bullet shaped plastic inner.

Flying solo to the US.  The evening before I emptied my bag (yes, “man bag”) of anything dubious like the SAK I always carry.  A mate was playing taxi for me so he came over and slept over that night, suggested going out for a game of darts.

Manchester airport, I was dragged to one side, “have you got… darts in here?”  Ah, crap.

Had to bin them, though I did get called “a ****ing legend” for having a Serenity/Firefly graphic novel on me.

I’ve never had anything removed. I’ve twice had a swiss army knife ‘discovered.’ First in Thailand where they just looked after it for me and gave it back upon landing. Second in Melbourne on the fifth flight of the weekend… they gave me a big Hong Kong shopper bag and told me to book it in as separate luggage!

I did have an amusing incident at Heathrow where the very tight security (2003) found my gumshield box in a bag pocket. He asked me what it was and then asked me to open it… whilst retreating to a safe distance. Fair play tbh, I’d forgotten it was there from months back and it was fairly mouldy!

Small camping gas canister in my hold luggage in Kathmandu airport whilst boarding a flight to Lukla….the most worrying part is that I’d flown with it from Heathrow to Kathmandu no problem at all. Genuinely hadn’t got a clue that it was in my rucksack!

My wife’s bag delivered up a succession of long-forgotten nail scissors to Italian security, like some kind of magic trick, I think we got up to five or so, even the guard was laughing by the end.

Of course, the bag had sailed through UK security on the way out.