What age would you feel happy leaving your kids by themselves?

Depends on the age of the kids. I occasionally walked the best part of a mile home myself from school when I was 5. Aged 14 was going away overnight camping with friends.

If children are trusted to walk home from school and go out around the local area themselves what is different being in the house themselves for a hour. Assuming no hazards like open fires etc.

Young children no. Teenagers yes. Where the dividing line is would depend on the child

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-49152/Mother-basked-sun-leaving-children-home-alone.html

Yr 5 ish for short periods of time and he was allowed to come home from school on his own. He’s now yr 7and regularly is home alone for a couple of hours after school and we are happy to go off for a similar time. If we are going biking or longer when there is a chance of significant delays then generally send him to the grandparents.

But he does have a phone now and can call us if needed, without that it’d be different.

Age 10 for 30 mins or so if she doesn’t want to come to the shop or takeaway with me. No answering the door, don’t start any fires.

She’s too young for a phone imo. Honestly, other than being doorstepped by a Jehovah’s Witness (if she broke the first rule) I can’t really think of any dangers that would befoul her. If I’m in a non fatal accident at the chippy I can call a neighbour.

Back in the 80s I was allowed to roam the west end at that age, with a couple of quid and no phone. Pretty sure it would be safer for a 10 year old to do that now than it was back then.

I think I can safely say that ‘not 2’ is an appropriate answer

we worked out that the kiddie monitor worked as long as you got the front window seat in the pub opposite.

It’s very much dependant on the kids. It’s already been said that many posters would have left theirs alone at 8 or 9, but not another sibling at the same age.

Mum’s a schoolteacher. She knows what goes on when her back is turned to the class, so is desensitized to these things anyway. You’re going to be wrong whatever your opinion is on the matter.

Non parent here

As a nipper in the 70s we were generally out most days playing in field and wood. By ,11or 12 walking and taking a train to school. Non of this seemed unusual

These days I doubt it’s quite so normal. But for me I think there has to be in place either a phone or a robust understanding of what to do in case of a problem

Daughter has been left for about half an hour since 10, regularly nipped to the shop (minute walk) for years before.

Now getting to the point where she’ll be in the house herself for a couple of hours from March, child minder doesn’t take over 12s. Need to work up to that.

Dons flamesuit, but if you have kids of high school age and they’re not capable of cooking themselves a simple meal (I’m talking beans on toast) unsupervised, you’re doing something wrong.

Well I was talking about a ~10 year old in that context so Primary School aged. And it’s not necessarily that 10 year olds can’t use the kitchen unsupervised, but that if I’m only leaving them alone for half an hour how badly do they really need a Bacon Sandwich Vs potentially burning the house down for the want of a parent to respond to shouty panic? many 10 year olds are competent others are liabilities.

I did also note that My 15 Year old would disregard that instruction now, my 12 year old can operate kitchen kit but generally chooses not too without significant pestering, and her avoidance of catering generally means she’s less competent with these things still.

But when they were about 10, the simplest rule to implement was just ‘don’t switch anything on in the kitchen while I’m out‘, that didn’t include the tap obviously.

I was walking the 15 minutes home from school alone twice a day from age 7 (mum would initially meet me part way, then she gradually left it later and later until I was doing the whole thing), so I guess I was probably being left alone while they nipped to the shops (15 minutes kind of thing from a similar age). Certainly by secondary school a morning at home on my own would have been fine.

We didn’t get a phone until I was 9 or a TV until a bit after that, but give me a book, lego or an airfix and I’d happily not move for an hour or so. I already understood about “don’t **** with gas or leccy”, and I was a boring goody-two-shoes spod of a kid who enjoyed being trusted so won’t have done anything to upset the status quo.

I can’t really think of any dangers that would befoul her.

Not being a child anymore I guess that you can’t remember the ridiculous things you did at that age? The main thing is will you ever find out what she does when she’s bored? My parents didn’t, mainly….  Off the top of my head –

– using any bed as a trampoline

– using the top bunk plus bedding as a makeshift slide

– searching for Xmas/birthday presents, obviously. If finding them entails a climb up the cabinets then that’s good.

– locking myself out of the house and climbing up the drainpipe to the broken bathroom window to get back in.

– mixing anything to find out what it tastes or smells like, or how it splats when it hits a neighbours greenhouse

– what happens when Evel Knievel hits my brother square in the forehead.

– darts or boxing gloves. Need I say more.

– fighting with said brother. He still has a scar my parents thought was from falling down the back steps.

– finding out how much pee it takes to fill up a Jedi light sabre. (Answer 1. not enough. A mess was made. And answer 2, I don’t know why I did it, I was 9!)

This is quite therapeutic actually. I might continue later. 😀

I think we started this kind of thing the year before high school, including walking home on his own in preperation. Although I suspect even earlier from a dog walking point of view.

Depends on the kid I guess and how many kids. I suspect you are likely to get bother with more than one…

Well OP – don’t leave us hanging.  How old are the kids and what was the resolution?

I think I was about 40

Depends very much on the kid and the location, but 10-11 for ours – sensible kids, locked themselves in, had mobiles, got on well with neighbours.

@idlejon well quite. I’d maybe not be delighted if my daughter turned into Dennis the menace when I popped to the shops, but neither would it be the end of the world!

Back to the OP question, it also depends on the likelihood of you not getting back to the house so if that trip to the shop could be delayed by another 30mins because of whatever, or you go for a run and the route is sketchy that may also factor in the decision as well as the age of the kid.

I have been known to go to the gym late at night when the kids are asleep and it’s a short walk there and back (and yes the kids are properly asleep and screens time-locked 🙂 )

Lolz at @Idlejon

I think that I was about 11 from memory? That’d have been mid nineties. We did have a land line, and possibly my parents had mobiles by that point.

My kids,we’re cycling home a couple kms from school when they were 7, and no parents home when they got there, so I guess that age

Not too many disasters.  I’m a bit surprised at ages like 14 and 15 being too young to be left alone.  Not that long till they potentially leave home

Kids are 8 and 5.

Wife decided that she wouldn’t leave them alone at home so she could go out for a run after all. That’s a good outcome.

However, by saying I felt very uncomfortable with the idea of leaving them home alone I was actually implying that she’s the worst person in the world and that she wanted to cause intentional harm to the kids. So I’m a massive ****

Can’t win them all I guess

Depending on the job why not negotiate a couple days WFH, or late start/early finish so you can share some of the load and MrsGinge can go for her run. It’s a win/win – she gets a run for headspace, you get brownie points and maybe some extras

wot suspic says

I can imagine your wife is slowly going off her nut looking after two kids all day every day for weeks on end.  I’d last 2 days max 🙂

I’d leave our ten year old for half an hour or so. Saying that, last time I did I walked through the door and could immediately smell shit. The dog had curled one out in the middle of the living room floor. Funk Jr was staring at the TV playing Lego Star Wars. Completely oblivious to the stench and giant pile of shit about a foot in front of him! Utter space cadet.

Funkette is six and if you leave the room for a nanosecond something will be broken, spilled, drawn on or on fire. Think it’ll be a while before she’s left alone.

My siblings and I were basically feral from about six and wandered the neighbourhood at all hours. Would pop back home when hungry or injured.

Yeah I’d think 8 and 5 is too young personally.

Out of curiosity, is there any legal guidance on leaving kds at home alone?

To clarify I always make sure MsGinge gets out for her runs (which has included time training for an ultra this year). This is purely about going out and leaving the kids alone.

If it makes any difference she’s done it once before, without me knowing about it, and had a fall. She was quite a way from home at the time and took longer than she thought to get back. No harm to anything other than her knees but didn’t leave me feeling particularly reassured.

8 years old, very borderline, with a 5 year old, hard no. Your wife needs to have hard think about what she suggested, as a teacher more so. You have the financial luxury of not needing to pay for child care as she’s free during holidays and I bet you dont get 13 weeks off a year either. I think she needs to consider her priorities.

You WFH looking after them, also not on, You’re being paid to work not babysit. Ok in a one off emergency but I dont think your wife going for a run counts. Bit different if they were 11 and 14 but 5 year olds need regular attention.

We did this sort of stuff once kids were in year 5/6 and going to school alone and having a door key. However we are lucky to be close friends with most of the neighbours, so they could go straight to them if needed. Like the time I set the house on fire, we were able to just shove them out the door and tell them which house to go to while we sorted it.

So I’m a massive ****

Might be time for a new patio!! 🙂

100% different for every child. My daughter would have been fine to leave at 6, me on the other hand at 13 thought flaming arrows was the game of choice when mum popped out to the greengrocer for 20mins. Still have the scars.

Happy to leave our youngest at 7 to look after his older brother who was 10. It’s totally kid dependent.  And having a neighbour to call on was standard operating procedure before mobiles. They don’t change. The youngest is still the reliable one 🙂

Ours at end of primary were left while we walked a few mins to shop and back – and the lads had all sets of neighbours they knew by name.
By start of secondary they were leaving house and coming home to house on thier own, for upto an hour.
They also went to pals houses across town alone.
By mid secondary we left them all day while we went for a ride/walk/paddle/sofa shop etc.
By 15 they got on a train themselves and travelled to the other end of the country to see gran & grandpa
By 17 they took a car away for a weekend of mountain bike racing.
At 18 they were living independently in Glasgow or Edinburgh.

Progression is where it’s at.
Preparation for life, not wrapping in cotton wool.

Out of curiosity, is there any legal guidance on leaving kds at home alone?

No there isn’t.
It’s Rule No.1 and know your kids time.

If you think they’re old enough to know what to do if somebody knocks the front door then they’re old enough.

Out of curiosity, is there any legal guidance on leaving kds at home alone?

Yes IIRC.  I can’t be arsed looking it up tho.  two ages – one for being left alone and another for being left in charge of younger children

10ish to nip to the village for half an hour. 13yo capable of being left for prolonged periods.

The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, for example at home or in a car.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under 16 should not be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

I think there is case law around it as well.  I thought there was statute law but there is not

I don’t really remember but I know we started with leaving them alone for 5 or 10 minutes whilst we went to the shop for milk etc. My son was 9 or 10 when he started getting the bus on his own to go to the pool for diving lessons. We bought him a mobile and the first two or three times his mum went with him. It was good for him and when we went to his first parents evening at high school most of his teachers commented on how organised he was. My BIL doesn’t trust his girls to do anything on their own and I don’t think it does them any good.

As an aside, in New Zealand, it is illegal to leave under 14 year olds unsupervised.
https://www.govt.nz/browse/family-and-whanau/childcare-and-supervision/leaving-children-by-themselves/

mine are 11 and 13, the one thing that I won’t do if this were to happen, is say ‘the eldest is in charge’ because my opinion is that kids are not adults. On a psychological level you are asking them to accept adult responsiblity and pressure when they are not an adult – on a practical level its asking for squabbling !

You WFH looking after them, also not on, You’re being paid to work not babysit.

As a single dad with full time child responsibility Sat to Wed I worked from home since 1998 when the kids were 3, 7 & 9 – admittedly I did a lot of work 9pm to midnight & on Thur & Fri, but we don’t all have the luxury of co-parenting when trying to keep a roof over our heads.