Underslept

Mrs SR’s away, so it’s up to me to get the kids up for school every day for the next two weeks. (We normally alternate.) It’s not really a big deal, except that I am very much a natural night owl, and will happily stay up until 3:00 given the chance.

Well, one of my older kids is now home from university, so we ended up watching Mississippi Burning on Prime last night, which ended at 2:30, and sure enough I was up at 7:00 to get the younger kids up for school.

Does anyone else deprive themselves of precious sleep? How many days can/will you do it to yourself before you succumb to fatigue?

Yep, I feel like I need the peace to unwind after dealing with the kids, so by the time the house goes quiet at 10ish I always stay up longer than I should.

I don’t sleep great either at the minute, so wake on and off from 5ish and get up knackered.

Why would you do this? I’ve got three kids and need so much energy this concept is alien and stupid to me!

Sleep hygiene and routine is so important for everyone

“Why would you do this? I’ve got three kids and need so much energy this concept is alien and stupid to me!”

Well, because I was working a 9-5 job at the time, I wrote most of my doctoral thesis between 23:00 and 03:00. It was, quite literally, the only window I had in which to write. I just function better in the silence of the night.

I’ve always been like this. I’m 52 now.

Yep. But not cos of kids, far from it. I get up at half 6 to ride to work. And some evenings I’m at my partner’s house…. 😀

I can maybe stay up ‘late’ ish – 12 say, once a week, otherwise it’s in bed before 11pm

I’m the same as @dooosuk. My son is quite hard work and I’ll be lucky to get him to sleep by 8 and he’ll wake at 5am most days. The evening is the only time I get some quiet alone time so I often end up staying awake too long. My son has recently turned 2 so I’ve had two years of sleep deprivation and it doesn’t look like it will get better any time soon. The annoying thing is that even though I’m knackered, I still struggle to get to sleep much before 10 as I’m more of a night owl.

Not unusual for me to go to bed around 2, to then get up for work at 530, less common is I will simply not go to bed, snoozing on the sofa for an hour or 2 then just starting again then next day.

Rarely up before 10 at the weekend though.

How many days can/will you do it to yourself before you succumb to fatigue?

Days? I lived like this for decades. Some folk just need a lot less sleep than others. Four, it more usually five, hours a night was always fine for me.

bikerevivesheffieldFull Member
Why would you do this? I’ve got three kids and need so much energy this concept is alien and stupid to me!

Sleep hygiene and routine is so important for everyone

You make it sound like a conscious decision. 2 young kids here too. By the time they’re in bed and the next day is organised I need some down time, which suddenly turns into being up too late.

I absolutely need more sleep, but the idea of little/no adult time possibly feels even worse

I need a decent 6-7 hours a night, get up at 6 for work, so usually lights out at 11-11.30.

Was plenty sleep deprived when the kids were small, but they eventually grew out of it. I’ve always been the lark, MrsMC more of an owl.

“Sleep hygiene” was something I learned when dealing with my anxiety and depression. I know when I’ve not had enough sleep.

I’ll just leave this here:

The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ – BBC Worklife

The “night owl” circadian rhythm is a recognised real thing. Regrettably, employers, educational institutions and selfish children don’t tend to allow much adjustment. Just go as early as you can manage while your Mrs is away and try not to operate heavy machinery. It’s surprising how much impairment we suffer if we fall much below 7 hours.

Yea I do that especially on a Sunday night. Went to bed 2 because I watched Lord of the Rings… again. Tonight I’ll be back in bed by 11. Don’t have to get up until 8 though.

Oddly as I do big ride/ lots of exercise over the weekend, I just cannot sleep.

Mrs Gordimhor has told me for years that I need to go to bed at roughly the same time every night. I work shifts with no discernible pattern to them including some sleepover shifts. I resisted for years but have slowly come to the conclusion that Mrs Gordimhor is right. Regular sleeping time is more important than time to unwind. Shift work with no pattern is really disruptive

My OH is a night-owl and works from home, and only 3 days a week. So sleeping in until 8:55 is fine, and having lie ins on the other days is fine for her.  But doesn’t work for me having to get up, get ready, eat breakfast and commute before work starts rather than just flick my laptop on and go make breakfast in my pants.

And it’s a frustrating nightmare as I’ll just get more and more sleep deprived through the week, cancel evening plans, skip the gym etc because I’m just not able to function.

I’m a night owl, it’s all fun and games until you have to do nursery drop offs.

In younger years no issues staying up till 3am then hitting work, even multiple times a week.

As I get older one day is fine, but multiple and my performance drops hugely in the gym or on the the bike so I now work to avoid it unless there is something to gain. At work I can pass but I find the best way around it is to work US hours.

It is interesting reading the science behind it. I read until I found a journal piece I liked about night owls being more evolved and stopped. Something to do with not having to wake up at the crack of dawn to fend off lions or kids that came naturally to our ancestors apparently 😂

Younger me would do that, even when the kids were little I had the stamina to go without sleep and function but I now know I need sleep to be even vaguely able to operate.

My missus still hasn’t figured it out herself though and frequently comes to bed at 01:30 or 02:00 having watched crap on telly (which tends to disrupt my sleep too). Funnily enough like you OP she’ll watch something on Amazon or Netflix and when I point out the main advantage of “on demand” video being that you can watch it any time she just goes ‘oh yeah’ like this hadn’t occurred to her at midnight when she pressed play… She’s then reliant on me waking her up and plying her with coffee to get moving.

People who think they’re able to function without much sleep are a nightmare as the rest of us often have to take up the slack when they can’t…

If forced by circumstances I can go maybe 36hrs without sleep possibly 48(?), but I’m going to be a zombie at the end of that…

When I was in uni halls there was a Candian student who stayed on Canada time.

I’d sit with him at breakfast sometimes, which was his pre-bedtime snack. Absolutely bonkers – I’ve no idea if he ever went to any lectures.

Same situation as you this week SR – OH away, so it’s me wrangling the toddler, new dog, US clients and work all week. I tend to find I get quite focused, on being organised and getting everything done; it somehow keeps me going, so I’m knackered but don’t really notice

I’m never normally in bed before 1-2am, and up at 7:30am every day. Just how I’m wired I think.

People who think they’re able to function without much sleep are a nightmare as the rest of us often have to take up the slack when they can’t…

+1

It’s like being drunk, you don’t know how drunk you are, and if you notice that you’re drunk then you’re far more drunk than you think you are.

I’ll occasionally pull a late night at work to get something out the door. But I know it’ll be rubbish even if it feels great at the time. If I want to actually produce good work then it’s always mornings and straight after lunch even if I’m feeling tired.

My missus still hasn’t figured it out herself though and frequently comes to bed at 01:30 or 02:00 having watched crap on telly (which tends to disrupt my sleep too). Funnily enough like you OP she’ll watch something on Amazon or Netflix and when I point out the main advantage of “on demand” video being that you can watch it any time she just goes ‘oh yeah’ like this hadn’t occurred to her at midnight when she pressed play… She’s then reliant on me waking her up and plying her with coffee to get moving.

Are we accidentally living in a thrupple but too tired to notice?

As someone who worked nights while at university (and still going out raving every weekend) I can sympathise.  I did all my uni work when it was dark, and still do my best work in the small hours.

Unfortunately if i do that i’m an awful dad and grotty, grumpy husband. Seeing as the only people that are really deprived of my ‘best work’ is my employer i’m normally in bed by 10:30 these days.

This is a good read https://www.additudemag.com/revenge-bedtime-procrastination-sleep-problems-adhd/

Part of the problem is that lots of activities these days are actively competing for your time.  Streaming, games, TV, social media etc, anything involving a screen is bad news for your sleep, it’s designed not to be relaxing and to keep you on the platform.

Conversely stick a podcast on with a timer (there’s an option on Spotify) and nine times out of ten I can be asleep before the 30min is up.  It’s like when you just can’t stay away in a really boring meeting at work 😂

People who think they’re able to function without much sleep are a nightmare as the rest of us often have to take up the slack when they can’t…

It’s like being drunk, you don’t know how drunk you are, and if you notice that you’re drunk then you’re far more drunk than you think you are.

Generalisms that really don’t apply to everyone. As someone already said, some of us are just wired differently.

Yep, I feel like I need the peace to unwind after dealing with the kids, so by the time the house goes quiet at 10ish I always stay up longer than I should.

I don’t sleep great either at the minute, so wake on and off from 5ish and get up knackered.

This is me.

You make it sound like a conscious decision. 2 young kids here too. By the time they’re in bed and the next day is organised I need some down time, which suddenly turns into being up too late.

I absolutely need more sleep, but the idea of little/no adult time possibly feels even worse

This is me.

I’ll just leave this here:

OMG 😲

This is me 🤦‍♀️

Some people do need less sleep than others, however it’s not that common and many short sleepers are actually intentionally sleep depriving themselves.

If your alarm wakes you every day then you’re probably not getting enough sleep. If you wake at least some days just before your alarm then you’re probably getting enough sleep.

You cannot train yourself to need less sleep, however if you’re someone who naturally sleeps less, there are very few ill effects from doing so.

Funny enough, after I posted this thread and a response, I fell asleep in my chair and was awakened by one of my sons two hours later. I guess I just don’t have the stamina anymore.

I saw recently getting les than 6(?)hours sleep is the equivalent of having 2 drinks. As in, you wouldnt think of driving if youd had 2 drinks, but 6hours of sleep?
Im trying hard to get a decent amount of sleep but average 3or4hours. I really notice the difference if i sleep well, I work better, ride better and have some enthusiasm, but it seems inevitable that the situation will only get worse and i often wonder how the long term consequences are going to work out

Does anyone else deprive themselves of precious sleep?

Yes during weekdays, but not as much as OP. I don’t really know why but it happens.

I need some down time, which suddenly turns into being up too late

No kids here but there’s a bit of this for me. Downtime after doing stuff I have to or should do, or doing that stuff later because I went out for a ride while it was daylight.

and try not to operate heavy machinery

Or bicycles in difficult terrain?

Does anyone else deprive themselves of precious sleep? How many days can/will you do it to yourself before you succumb to fatigue?

I think I’ve managed about 72 hours or thereabouts(awake).It’s a funny type of tiredness, and in fact if anything you get somewhat light headed and more aware, almost trippy. You(I) don’t really end up really sleepy, like when you nod off on the sofa after a day in the saddle, but you feel it in your bones so to speak.

.

If your fatigue is such that its affecting your whole body, then you need to put the kids in the local cat and dog home for at least a weekend.