I will open with one of my little foibles. Cranks should be silver and not black unless contructed of carbon fibre.

Sky should be blue not cloud coloured

Cranks should only be silver if the rings are also silver, or possibly coloured but definitely not black.

If the stem and seatpost are black, the cranks should be black also.

Tyres should always be black

Dog shit should be spray painted florescent yellow, as should the owners that don’t pick it up.

Oranges should be yellow.

Bottom bracket cups should be anodised to match your hubs. Headsets and seat collars should be black.

Enduro should be purple

most stuff should be the colour that annoys people who think things should be a certain colour the most (so far cranks should all be black)

cranks should be silver

You would have hated the nineties kid

always bet on black!

Yeti: turquoise

seatclamps should be black

the nots:
spokes should not be white
rims should not be white
bars should not be white
tyres should not be coloured
cables should not be coloured
bottle cages should not be coloured

possibly:
gloves should be red or blue

I should not be crimson at the top of a climb

Lights should be green on my commute

Lycra shorts MUST not be white.

for the haters..

When I was a kid, my nan bought me one of those £99.99 Apollos from Halfords. As a result, I can’t take any bike seriously that is painted bright Orange 🙂

So, BSO’s should be bright Orange.
Bikes should be any colour other than Orange

Im glad to say my bikes break most of the STW colour rules, although my cranks are silver

Bikes should be any colour other than Orange

I know someone with a black Orange. Which is just wrong.

rusty90 – Member

I know someone with a black Orange. Which is just wrong.

In which case it needs to be turfed out of the fruit bowl before it turns the others. 😉

I am also getting around to thinking that spokes ought not be black. Been cleaning bikes after a ride and thinking spokes ought to be silver.

bathroom suites should be avocado or lobster *

* bringing retro back.

A yellow orange for PP:

Style Nazis should always be transparent!

Where do grey cranks fit into this? And are we talking ano silver or polished?

Headset spacers should be black/carbon.

Seat posts and handlebars should be black/silver/carbon only.

All bikes should be mud coloured.

Rims, hubs, spokes, bars, stems, cranks, posts etc should be polished (or in extremis painted/anodised) silver.

Black anodizing/coating is not a consumer led fashion choice, no matter what the industry might tell you.
It was foisted upon us because it’s cheaper to make.

Tyres, grips, cable outers and saddles should always be black.
Anything else is the sign of a dilettante.

Grass – green
Sky – blue
Alfa’s – red

Everything else is open to personal preference 😉

So looks like my gold headset spacers, black cranks, white saddle and gold other bits are right out with the STW fashion guru’s

A Turner should always be unpainted.
In fact I’ve come round to the idea that all my mountain bikes would be better off left ‘raw’ – no paintwork scratches or scuffs to bother about.. 🙂

Lamborghinis should be yellow, orange or green.
Ferraris should be any colour other than red or grey.
Astons should be green.

Reissued trainers should only be available in their original colours.
Red Gazelle?
Blue Samba (I’m looking at you Harry the Spider)?
Just wrong.

Nothing, ever, should be matt black;
It sucks happiness out of the world and acts as a gateway to other dimensions, where hideous matt black creatures gibber on matt black lawns.

Mike that saddle looks like it is at a very “jaunty” angle.

Oranges should be Neon Green

Lambos, orange and yellow.
Ferraris should only be red.
Porsches black.
Astons silver.

Bikes should be brown – any other colour betrays an utter fop of a rider

Only three non sentient things should be brown – wood, mammalian excrement and gravy.

I may make an exception for hiking boots.

‘Fop’ is a wonderful word. What colour are fops?

Salt and vinegar crisps should be BLUE. Cheese and onion should be GREEN.

Anyone know when this changed? You ever seen a blue onion? No me neither!

I blame jug ears for this, single handedly killed golden wonder.
The goal poaching bar steward.