the marriage is over – how to move on?
Following all the stuff that happened 18 months ago, then some time working on it, we’ve decided that’s it. Done.
I moved out in august to give her some space and then we tried to work it out. At times out felt really good, others like nothing had changed. After a mate’s wedding we went to together I think it hit us that we were so far from that love and affection of a wedding.
I have just moved back home after she moved out. I have the girls thursc to sat night which is good. But being back in the house when they’ve gone is really hard. I keep thinking about all the good times and the ones I wanted to be that won’t.
Trying to stay positive, but trip up at times. Any tips – apart from ride more, clearly!Posted 4 years agohooliMember
I agree with what others have said, keep busy and I would look at either moving or changing the current house, doesn’t have to be drastic but a coat of paint or whatever gives a “fresh start”.
That and go on a few dates, you may not feel like it but it is amazing how a bit of female attention helps to get over things.Posted 4 years agofranksinatraSubscriberst colinSubscriber
Time will really help, I can vouch for that.
Spend time now doing the things you want and love to do. I’m going through something similar at the moment and it’s now been over a month and I have come on leaps and bounds in that time. I still get horrible days, but because I’m battling depression, I’m almost used to it.
Stay positive fella.Posted 4 years agofunkrodentSubscriber
Dickyboy – Member
Sounds like you should be able to keep a working relationship with your ex, which means you are a good way on to be good parents to your girls. Being a part time parent is not all bad as well once you get into it
This +1. Am into year three now. For the most part have a good working relationship with the ex, see loads of the kids and am arguably a better father than I was when we were at each other’s throats, stressed out etc. First few months were hard (though I moved out) but soon got into a new routine. After a year went to an old colleague’s leaving do and met a girl that I used to work with who I’d known vaguely. We’re now living together and very happy.
I’d say embrace the opportunity. If it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right, that’s just how it is. You’ve got a chance now to go forth into life older and wiser. Take advantage and use the lessons you’ve learned up until now to make differnt choices going forward. For sure I know much more now about what I want and need (and what I can give) from life and a partner than I did 10-15 years ago.Posted 4 years agoloweySubscriber
Sorry to hear it mate.
Make your kids the number one priority in your life. Dont bad mouth the ex infront of them, ever. If your kids are happy it has a massive impact upon how you will feel about yourself.
Its tough but the only thing that will make it easier is time. Be good to yourself as well. Keep yourself active when you havent got the kids. I wouldnt even think about another relationship just yet. I left it 18 months before getting back into the saddle and that time getting used to being on my own was a very important stage in my life.
If your ever up Manchester way give me a shout and we’ll have a ride.
Keep on keeping on mate.Posted 4 years agoti_pin_manMember
the key word for the day children is – busy. yep keep yerself busy. busy busy busy. fill your life with busy.
Alway always stay in touch with your children, maintain it, do more of it, add them to your other busy.
then as time passes you will eventually realise you’ve healed.Posted 4 years agorajboabMember
Sorry to hear that mate.
I separated from my wife as of Nov so am in a similar situ.
Kept it amicable if you can, agree your plans between you both, draft a separation agreement in Word and pass it to the lawyer. This way if you both agree its easy and cheap. No lawyers letters for a bike lock as my pal got from his wife. Cost her £200 for that lock!
Keep yourself busy when the wee one isn’t over. I find that I don’t have that much time when my son isn’t there to even get the house stuff done, let alone do much else.
Enjoy the music and telly you want and look forward to spending quality time with the kid.
I’ve joined PoF. I’m dating but not too seriously. I’m amazed at the amount of single women out there. Not knowing my ‘market value’ I’m pleasantly surprised.
Would recommend it as a real change from what we knew.
StuartPosted 4 years agoflatbackMember
been there before and cant believe I am going through it again after partner of 4 years left last week, but after the last one which was a 15 year relationship break up, I know to try and get quality sleep tell your mates how hard you are finding it, and they will text you, stay positive, eat healthy, look after yourself cos stress is a hard hard thing to have to deal with.Posted 4 years ago
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