… appears to be being written by someone who couldn't get a writing job on Ally McBeal again, and I'm increasingly concerned that I'm being played by McKenzie Crook. I found myself leaning on the doorframe of someone's office and saying "hey" in a sympathetic manner this morning.
I urgently need better writers please, a really good costume with leather bits and epaulettes, Chris Ryan to choreograph the major fight scenes, a new female lead and some 3D stuff with giant reptiles. And I want to be played by Matt Damon again.
We're not going for critical acclaim and stupid, poncey remarks about it having beautiful cinematography here, we're going for more excitement, more explosions, more reptiles, more flesh, more gunfights and some massive helicopters.
Now. Dammit. 👿