Im almost 4h into my 8AM to 8PM delivery window waiting for my new bike
(Yes, Id buy from the LBS but it needed to come from Wheelies)

Since 8AM I have:

Spring cleaned the house
Cooked a hotpot for tonight
Actually done some work type work
Visited the letterbox 12,218 times

I need to go for a dump and have been trying to hold it in, not sure I can last much longer

Any bets on this being when the door bell tolls and that he waits for less time than it takes me to wipe before vanishing?

Cheers

Thanks for the image. I was just a bit sick in my mouth.

That said, I do sympathise.

Visited the letterbox 12,218 times

If you’re expecting your new bike to be delivered through the letterbox you won’t be disappointed if DPD are the couriers…

I like DPD.

Im currently watching Tony make his way to me with the new rear silencer and exhaust pipe for the landy. I am delivery number 66, he’s at 59. I have a 30 minute window in which to poo and make lunch.

^^^^^ Im jealous

I like DPD.

Actually our local bloke;’s fine it was just the first co that came to mind.Can I change it to Yodel?

Don’t jinx me by bringing Yodel to the thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t help thinking that you got your dumping strategy wrong – the doorbell is going to ring when the seat is barely warm, so get it done early.

good lad, Tony.

Just in time for my Scampi sarnies too 🙂

Now, where’s your bike sporticus?

Yodel always arrive at mine about 3.30, DPD about 10.30.

scampi sandwiches?

jekkyl – Member
scampi sandwiches?

And a total lack of hand crafted artisan bread, have a word with yourself man!

scampi sandwiches?

Middle Class Fish fingers.

scampi sandwiches?

3x bags for £2 @ Morrisons.
Sliced white council estate bread.
Im slummin’ it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hang that pipe off the landrover or I’ll gas the kids again on the way home from school.

the wood that table is made out of looks un-finished, ooh splinters! think of the children.

the wood that table is made out of looks un-finished, ooh splinters! think of the children.

That’s not the kitchen. That’s the workshop.

Workshop Daffodils. That’s a thing.

Have had lunch and for a bit of an adrenaline hit hoovered the living room running the motor for 4-5 sec bursts in case the bell rings – I have not risked the dunny yet

Still waiting

And a total lack of hand crafted artisan bread, have a word with yourself man!

Doesn’t even look like a hand-crafted knife either, is disappoint..

Squat over a bucket in the front garden. It is the only way to avoid disappointment.

Have had lunch and for a bit of an adrenaline hit hoovered the living room running the motor for 4-5 sec bursts in case the bell rings – I have not risked the dunny yet

Still waiting

This is making me laugh, as I have done what you are doing so many times before. 😀

Waiting for UPS here to delivery a shiny new cassette, chain and chainring so I can ride tomorrow. My email said it will be delivered 3rd May but if I register on the UPS website I can get an estimated time of delivery. I did this and was told it will be delivered by the end of the day, not really the narrow time slot I was hoping for to be honest!

Still no action from the door bell

I have now naively laid out my toolkit, pedals and clamp for seatpack on the kitchen table for when they get here

Ive also had time to compute how long it will take to get out of the box, check to see if its safe, remove the reflectors and cassette plastic granny dinner plate

The kids get in at 4 and have forgotten to take a key so I need to be here

If the bike comes before 2 I reckon Im sweet to get it mobile (forget the mudguards*) and take it round my favourite short loop for a shakedown – I reckon I can buy an extra 5 mins by tinkering on it whilst on the dunny too and am considering putting on my cycling kit now:)

Thanks for the psychological support!

* They did ask if I wanted them pre attached but I declined as Id prefer to do it myself and tinkering with shiny bikes is pleasurable

EDIT: another adrenaline surge, thought I heard a lorry pull up outside but it was only a taxi with a borked exhaust (not a Land Rover)

if it’s any consolation, the exhaust pipe doesnt fit.
The frustrations of a chimera landy build: a 200tdi engine with a 19J exhaust pipe. bugger. Better open the windows before picking up he kids.

Aaaargh – 14 mins to my self appointed deadline, its even stopped raining

The dog was out at 630AM and had been complaining of too much energy so Ive just given him a game of footy in the garden for 25 mins so thats him sorted and another job crossed off

If I ride it out the box with its reflectors and temp pedals I can prob add 10-15 min to my deadline, I can live with being laughed at in cases of emergency

Admittedly I have now switched psychological tack – If it arrives much after 2 I have no chance of riding it properly as busy with the kids later but can luxuriate getting it “just so” in the kitchen this evening with a beer whilst its still new and untouched

Cheers

Ive just given him a game of footy in the garden for 25 mins

There’ll be a ‘while you were out’ card in the hall somewhere.

Well its 2pm…has it arrived?

Well its 2pm…has it arrived?

No – Ive now changed my plan to just looking at it when it gets here

But am serious about the full reflectors, factory warning stickers and duff pedal option – deadline for this now potentially 230pm if I put on my riding kit now, Im sure the couriers seen worse??

fiddle with it then go out in the evening after or around the time the kiddiewinks go to bed?
you haven’t said what bike is arriving, road or mtb?

fiddle with it then go out in the evening after or around the time the kiddiewinks go to bed?

Theyre not that little any more but need help with ‘stuff’ tonight which will tie me up from when they get in to 8pm

The bad news then is that the wife is away for the rest of the week and has insisted on a family meal ‘cos she’s out early doors till the weekend and wont see us

The good news is that the wife is away for the rest of the week and Ive booked a few days off for dog and child related reasons and the weather looks OK – wahey 🙂

Its 215pm, think I may as well put my toolkit away 🙁

This is going to be torture

Damn you! Now I have parcel stress by proxy 😡

Ordered stuff on Wed, eventually got shipped late Thu and appeared on mail website on Fri but only as far as depot, delivering today but no idea when. Usually when I’m on the school run.

you’re not at work tomorrow?
the wife is away?
the kids are in school?
you will have a new bike?
the temps will be in the late teens?

Get in! *fist bump*

This is why the bike industry needs Amazon.

Otherwise with Prime, I’d be able to order a bike and it would be delivered in 2 hours! 😀 (not one, because I’m not lucky enough to be in the 1hr delivery zone). Or at worst, order in the morning and get an evening delivery slot same day.

Personally I think Amazon should just take over all courier businesses and Royal Mail. Evil empire maybe, but hell with it if it means I can get stuff *now* 😀

Have you checked the doorbell works, perhaps the battery is flat… 😉

you’re not at work tomorrow?
the wife is away?
the kids are in school?
you will have a new bike?
the temps will be in the late teens?

Get in! *fist bump*

Thanks – thats exactly why Im not totally going to pieces

Its still going to hurt having a new bike which I cant ride

Thats 230pm – Im officially snookered today for riding so tools, pedals, grease, seat pack, riding kit, etc etc all going bye byes.

Half a shandy says it arrives in the next 5 mins…………

AND ITS A MAJOR FAIL FOR DX COURIERS

Just checked my letterbox to find the famous “sorry you were out” card

EXCEPT I WASNT OUT YOU MUPPETS

Phone call on a refreshing non premium number says I need to reorganise delivery

Not impressed, suggested they should actually deliver on the day I expected and took off work so he’s coming back “on his way home”

MUPPETS

Why do they do this?

My assumption is that the margins are that tight and drivers pay that crap lugging a bike box out of a van and waiting whilst I check its OK just isnt worth their time, but as the depot is a 30 mile round trip Im sure as hell not going to collect

I blame the hoovering.

I blame the hoovering.

That was safe, the card appeared in a 15 min window in between me checking the post and doing some work on my laptop in the kitchen, and yes I have tried the doorbell again, and again

There is little chance he did anything other than lob the card through and run

Annoyed doesnt begin to cover it

I’m convinced they send a bloke round on a bike to chuck the cards in the door and speed off, while keeping the stuff at the depot.

I’ve tried to chase the guy the instant I hear the card but can never see him.

I once caught my postman in the act of just shoving a “sorry you were out” card through my door. He did his round on foot and I guess didn’t bother to carry heavy parcels around. They were very shady posties in South Manchester though. Half of the parcels never arrived or had been tampered with.

My postman in Sheffield is ace.

Anyway, my commiserations. Were you on the John when they came? *snigger*