“When cups wear out its only use is for recycling”
You’re supposed to check, adjust, regrease and periodically replace the ball bearings (and maybe cone nuts) before you wear the hub cups out
Like you might drop and change oil in the lowers/air can on your fork/shock before the stantion/shaft anodising wears out
It could be worse, at least it looks like you might be able to use normal spanners on that. I think shimano cup/cone 15/20mm hubs require some bigger ££ shimano only? cone spanners
“never ever, ever, ever being able to get the adjustment exactly right”
The hubs cups are probably already pitted/worn. Worn ball bearings and/or cone nuts may also be playing a part
If everything is new or unworn they’re a doddle
“who adore squirting grease and adjusting”
With my pitted rear (I didnt open it for about 18months) XT C/C hub. I probably open it every 6months to put new ball bearings in. regrease, adjusting is okay, but made slightly fiddly because of the pitting, then crank up the nuts nice and tight and they dont undo themselves