Stupid car modifications?

I’m sure this has probably been done at some point over the years.. but what is the stupidest car modification you’ve seen?

For me, it has to be the bellend a few doors down who has “smoked” his rear lights (and front for that matter) to such an extent he may as well not have any. Almost impossible to see indicators from behind. Modifying the very things that let you see and others see you so that they are no longer transparent is top of my shit list.

There’s a young scrote that drives past my place regularly with what appears to the the rear spoiler off an F1 car bolted to the roof of his 1.2 Ford Fiesta.

Haha! Nice, wonder if he’s managed to get the DRS system working for releasing the potential of that 1.2 on the straights

There is a tw@! Three doors from here who has fitted a “sports exhaust” to his Merc. It sounds ridiculous, wakes up half the road every morning at about 5 am. Offers no performance advantage and generally makes him quite unpopular. It probably also gives him a migraine on anything other thsn a short drive to the shops.

Saw a car in a french service station, it had been re trimmed with white leather and fake diamonds, sculls and crosses. Sort of a white death rock / Liberace look.

Aye, 5am starts with a loud POS aftermarket exhaust is not going to win you any popularity contests with your neighbours!

Presumably the smoked lights gets you an MOT fail so you need 2 sets to swap before/after?

Edit – and lowered suspension to the point of scraping over speedbumps and gradient changes.

Lowered suspension is pretty stupid too tbh, presumably to make a car handle better at speed.
However, most towns nowadays are festooned with speed bumps, so it actually makes a car much slower as they have to go right down to 1st gear to negotiate them.
Loud exhausts, might make 0.00001bhp more at 6900rpm, but will almost certainly have less power everywhere else in the rev range, so totally pointless from a performance standpoint.
The only thing I would ever do to a car nowadays is upgrade the entertainment system, and I’d only bother with that if the original was obviously lacking tbh.

Middle aged stw at its finest 😉

Lol, yeah I’m 50 eh 😂😂😂

There was a whole website dedicated to this sort of money wastage; http://www.barryboys.co.uk

I’ve never had the money to modify any car I’ve owned to any great extent. As a youngster though I did buy some crap to stick ON my car to make it cooler 🙂

Little “wingy” things on the windscreen wipers to push them down against the glass. (They were already pushing against the glass – that’s how they’re made ffs)

“Cool” mats in the front wells for me to put my dirty shoes on.

The list of silly stuff goes on, but nothing like my mate who had an air scoop bolted to his bonnet (but no hole in the actual bonnet), had a 10ft long whippy aerial coming off the rear wing, had a rear spoiler bolted to his boot for “safety reason” etc.

Stance, handles like crap & wears your tyres in no time.
Wings
Massive brand/model stickers down the side ( transporter owners i’m Looking at you 😉 )

5am starts with a loud POS aftermarket exhaust is not going to win you any popularity contests with your neighbours!

Middle aged stw at its finest 😉

Go on Wiggles, show us yer phat ride 🙂

I’m on a FB group for owners of my car, it’s split 50:50 original to stupidly modded.

Some of the shit they stick on…fake brake air intakes, spoilers (it’s got 82bhp) are just embarrassing to me.

You do realise everyone is saying the same about people in their ridiculous cycling outfits pedalling around on bikes with lots of pointless expensive bits

They’re not quite as intrusive on other folks though I guess

What is it Al?
Somr true horrors on the fb transporter sites, seems like a compulsion to keep putting stuff on till bits start falling off

Edit ( know full well I look ridiculous in most my cycle gear, & am sure some people will hate my van too 😉 ) it is kind of poo brown though

Narrow tyres stretched onto wide rims.

OTT bling:

A couple of my high-school mates had an old Toyota beater and decided to convert it into a convertible by cutting off the roof with a hacksaw. This resulted in the doors not opening, which they didn’t see as a problem so they took it cruising through town in the middle of the afternoon leading to a chat from the constabulary who were nice enough to not write up a ticket if they took it to a scrap yard and left it there.

Offers no performance advantage and generally makes him quite unpopular.

Even less of a performance advantage following a quick squirt of expanding foam in the dead of night, I should think…

Am I a terrible person for quite liking that Iveco? Anti-stealth camper.

Down the road is a lovely BMW 635 CSi with an idiotic aftermarket bean can exhaust fitted. What is more pathetic than the exhaust is the way he drives apologetically down the road trying not to make too much noise whilst on the estate.

I fitted an K+N air filter to my Mk2 16V Golf GTI. Made zero difference but I got some stickers that made it look cooler.

I bought a Toyota Starlet GT that had a spark plug drilled into the exhaust (otherwise known as a flamer unit!) I also found a concealed knife in the boot and the remains of some green in the ash tray.

When I was 17, my mini had a cherry bomb exhaust which set off car alarms as I drive past.

The bonnet bra. Especially on a Transporter, double points if accompanied by plastic flowers hung off the rear view mirror.

Complete the look with stick family sticker on the back

You forgot the ‘surfbrand’ stickers & skimboard table ( which is shite as a table shape wise) 😉
Edit: errr I did have a bra on the van before it was sprayed 🙁

Smart roadster Simon.

It’s not the tin can exhaust types tho, most mods are in the style of the car, and there’s a lot of tuning etc

The ones with the wheels at an angle so they look like they need the toilet do my head in. I really cannot see the point. 🙄

998cc (proper) Mini fitted with a Malpassi Filter King fuel pressure regulator and a K&N air filter.
Look, when you’re 19 and you’ve only got 39PS you’ll clutch any straw 🙂

I love the small VW thing of having a car that generally looks like crap- rusty arches, clapped out interior, and at least one panel in primer – but has the perfect wheels.

Stretched tyres are the worst. Especially if they’ve fitted wider wheels or even dafter banded them. It looks ridiculous, it can be dangerous, what’s it all about?

While I was typing this a scooter went up the road making the exact same engine noise as my power washer.

captain_bastard

Subscriber

The bonnet bra. Especially on a Transporter, double points if accompanied by plastic flowers hung off the rear view mirror.

It’s the weirdest idea… “paint protection” that makes your car look like shit now, so that when you sell it it looks good for the next owner.

There’s a brand new blinged-out Range Rover near us with a ridiculous body kit on it and lowered suspension, so the bottom of the skirts are about half an inch off the floor. It looks absolutely ludicrous and it probably cost the same as our house

can motorbikes be involved too? if so, the clowns who run tiny script font rear plates, why bother? Have you got too much money so you want to spend it on fines? It looks crap. Stop it!

Low profile tyres.

Removing the rear wiper.

Anything in primer.

Ruining perfectly engineered Japanese cars, especially Preludes.

Brown paint.

I see this Range Rover rolling round my manor.

The car is grey, but every little bit possible that you could take off and get chromed, such as door handles, vent covers, boot trims etc, has been taken off and chromed.

Takes all sorts.

A harley with open pipes just rode past sounding like the world’s worst case of explosive diarrhea

Blazin-saddles

Member

can motorbikes be involved too? if so, the clowns who run tiny script font rear plates, why bother? Have you got too much money so you want to spend it on fines? It looks crap. Stop it!

I spent ages on mine working with the genuine font but cutting down size and margins and sizing down the flags and then putting everything back into the right proportions til eventually I had the most legit-looking illegal plate imaginable. It was only something like 6×4 but it just didn’t attract any attention, and looked right on the bike too, win! Twice I had the police checking the bike for defects but just let the plate pass. (I think maybe if they’d found any other faults they’d have added it on though)

I think I’m allowed to put smaller plates on the car as it’s an import- my inner chav is dying to get on that but I think maybe I should get the gearbox fitted first.

The bloke who bought my old Ibiza modded it with a re-map about a week after getting it, which I thought was pretty stupid.

I thought that was pretty brave considering it was on 275k miles with original clutch, turbo and injectors.
Apparently the clutch started slipping almost immediately in 6th and then in 4th and 5th within a few weeks.

He worked at a clutch/tyre centre so I suppose could sort it relatively cheaply.

Truckers are quite keen on a bit of cosmetic modding. Girlfriends, wives, children and prostitute names seem to be a favourite. Was asked to do a full rear bulkhead wrap of a Volvo FH with Keith Moon. Never got round to that one as we couldn’t find an image we could use. It would have cost the driver about £2k on his employers truck!

A mate spent a ridiculous amount of money getting a “pops and whistles” remap done on his Mitsubishi Lancer Evo-something.

God knows it sounded bad enough beforehand!

He also spent thousands on every conceivable bit of bling to make it even uglier and more uncomfortable than even Mitsubishi managed…