Slightly nancy & effeminate question

Not being one to give much of a toss about how I look (my general appearance being testament to the fact), I have recently noticed that while my right calf is well, super manly and defined, my left is very much less so. My right calf is embarassed to walk beside my left, which is wholely understandable.

So, how do I buck the left’s ideas up into turning out a good show when riding along, or indeed simply in front of the mirror while I’m making my sexy face over my shoulder a few feet above them?

*Should this be sent in to the mag for inclusion in Matt Hart’s column…

As Dudley Moore once said (sort of)

‘I have nothing against your right leg, unfortunatley neither do you’

Take the right pedal off

You just have to be careful how you stand;

I’m fairly sure the answer to this will be kettlebells

and whey protein

one legged calf raises and squats will sort you out in quick order squire (and hurt like a 10,000 hurty things)

Wear high heels.

People will be so taken by your choice of footwear, nobody will look at your lop-sided and disformed legs.

Stop running round in circles.

As Dudley Moore once said (sort of)

‘I have nothing against your right leg, unfortunatley neither do you’

He said no such thing. Peter Cook said it. 🙂

Peter schmeeter my life already.

here’s an arguably slightly nancy solution

skipping using just your calves to lift you. favour the skinny leg

better than having a really overdeveloped right arm… that just makes you look like a ****.

I already wear high heels and both my arms are overdeveloped since I am ambidextrous. Maybe I should wear proper shoes on the bike.

My kettle already has a bell on it and I’m lactose intolerant. Will this be a problem?

I cannot walk in circles as my left leg cannot hold my bodyweight.

ta da …

this will do it.

Step 1 – find out why you have the imbalance. I’ll tell you what step 2 is when you’ve completed step 1.

Probably something to do with riding left foot forward all the time when I’m not pedalling and tensing my right calf

At least you don’t have this problem
With humble apologies for posting a Daily Mail link

In an aside – how does Lembit Opik get such nice looking women ?

In an aside – how does Lembit Opik get such nice looking women ?

He can lick his own eyebrows.