on asked his mother the following question:

'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?'

The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and
relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his
father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and TAKES him on a walkabout, he
shows him the fridge and asks him what is the colour, to which the son
replies: ' WHITE '. He does the same for the dishwasher, the washing
machine, the stove, etc etc;

Then he tells the son: 'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

What's pink but near silver?

The lone rangers arse

Why have women got small feet?

So they can get closer to the sink.

why did the lady cross the road???

Stuff that, what was she doing out the kitchen!

What do you call a duck with no legs?

Bob

A balloon boy goes to school with all his balloon friends and teachers, but one day he brings a pin to school and is immediately sent to the head teachers office.

The headteacher is furious with him and says "You've not only let yourself down. You've let me down, your teachers down and your friends too".

What is orange and sounds like a parrot ?
A carrot

What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A Flat Minor

My kids favourite jokes

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonky

I took the wife out last night… One Punch!!!

what's red and lies on its side?

a dead bus

what do you call an italian with a rubber toe?

roberto

i went to the zoo yesterday and they had no animals except a small dog

it was a shitzu

Button injured in horrendous F1 incident.

i went to the zoo yesterday and they had no animals except a small dog

it was a shitzu

I LOVE that joke – thanks for reminding me of its genius!

What's orange and round?

An Orange.

What's orange and hard?

An orange with a flick-knife.