Pulling out of my drive this morning, some bloke driving past clearly thought I was going to carry on out into the side of his car, so he stopped and had a shout. I hit the horn and shout back – I’m not blind, I pull out of that drive every morning, I’m perfectly aware I have to stop and look…I follow him to the t junction and hit the horn again, then hit the horn again when he pulls off into the golf club, just to piss him off more. If I hadn’t had the kids in the car I would have happily followed him in and had a go in person. Instead I drop the kids off, and drive to work in a foul mood, swearing at the slightest (perceived) mistake any other driver makes.

Why the hell do we do it? The whole thing was a misunderstanding. If we’d have been walking, and I’d actually bumped into him, being English he’d probably apologise to me. Instead of that we’re both in shit moods, I hate losing my temper, my kids probably think their Dad’s a psycho, I feel like a massive dickhead…why, why, why?

Bike tomorrow.

We ????

WE don’t… you obviously do….

TBH mate, you are a massive dickhead… because you know what… you’ve acomplished NOTHING from your ‘moment’ apart from upsetting yourself and your kids.

I had what would have been a potential ‘moment’ last weekend on motorbike in London with some mong performing a U turn… i just smiled and went on my way as he was going NUTS…. You know what… it doesn’t matter… not in the slightest…

Move on and live life happy.

No weeksy, with that reply, YOU are a massive dickhead.

More to the “incident” methinks. More background to it.. scrape at the surface to find whats really bothering you..

Sorry Rogg but you do sound like the sort who (if you weren’t a cyclist) would take it out on a cyclist or pedestrian just for being there, while you’re all safe and protected in 2 tons of metal and plastic. You wouldn’t have had that ludicrous reaction if you’d been walkign along, would you (if you get my drift)?

I think your “bike tomorrow” comment is appropriate.

If I post on this thread does it make me a d’head too? Probably…

When you are driving it is dangerous, not at all like walking. The slightest mistake can wipe out a whole family even if we are not always conscious of the ever present danger. When we are suddenly reminded of how dangerous things can be and how vulnerable we are to the stupid actions of others we tend to see red.

Not a psychologist but has always been my take on it.

No weeksy, with that reply, YOU are a massive dickhead.

Elaborate ?

A lot of us have a disproportionate reaction to incidents on the road and behave in ways we wouldn’t in other situations. I don’t know why.

No weeksy, with that reply, YOU are a massive dickhead.
Elaborate ?

Just following up one unnecessary, pointless, useless response with another. Hope you enjoyed it.

At least you appear to appreciate your reaction was excessive which means you may sort yourself out in time. Not sure I’d want to meet you on the road in the meantime.

I’d say most road hostility is a brought about through stuff going on in other parts of your life.

My money (and my phsyciatrists money) is on the Frustration–Aggression–Displacement theory.

As the other’s have said it’s not ‘we’.. 🙂
I got a response from a psychologist at work saying it was to do with people in vehicles assuming they are anonymous and less accountable in much the same way as people on forums can behave. I think there was a name for it but I can’t remember.
This was after I posted an email to the 2000 odd people at work inviting the owner of car reg summink or other if they’d like to come round to my office and have a friendly discussion, rather than just shout and drive off whilst gaining a nice scrape mark down their car from my alfine hub nuts, that would be lovely 🙂

I used to get really wound up when driving. My calming down happened the same time I started driving sheds, so maybe for me it was the fact that I was aware of how much my car was worth and angry that (I was perceiving) people were doing stuff that could cause damage?

you do sound like the sort who (if you weren’t a cyclist) would take it out on a cyclist or pedestrian just for being there

Hmmm, don’t think that’s fair. Being a cyclist I go out of my way to be courteous to other cyclists when I’m driving. In my opinion, of course. The first post might make me sound like a nutter, but it’s the fact that (I think) it’s out of character for me, that’s wound me up so much. If I did it every day I’d have forgotten about it by now.

Hmmm, before I start exploring your relationship with you mother and father…
Can you tell me if you’ve been having any problems in the bedroom?
Is the pressure to provide your kids with and Awesome!!! Xmas getting on top of you?
Are you uncertain of what brand of coffee you should be seen to be drinking?

I have seen plenty of road raging cyclists and have over reacted myself.

it seems to be a common thing we (as a species) do

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/gaz545-shouty-man-on-bike-off-of-that-youtube-a-little-uptight-or-justified

If I hadn’t had the kids in the car I would have happily followed him in and had a go in person

Now…. this is where you have to have a word with yourself. Despite all the screeds on books and advice on good parenting there are only a few things you can do as a parent that have a real tangilble effect on your childrens future health and happiness as adults. One is not to smoke, one is to show them kindness (they’ll never, ever forget that) and the other is to show kindness to others. If you’re rude, agressive, judgemental, mean to waitresses, argue with shop assistants, honk your horn and gesture at other drivers, and so on and so on…… Your going to live to regret what irretrievably arrogant and dissatisfied arseholes your children grow up to be.

Adrenalin.

Why road rage?

Because nobody is ever wrong and everything’s always someone elses fault and how dare anyone question me and I pay my taxes and I have my rights you know blah blah

It’s the spirit of the age

Science-ists spend all this time looking for the “missing link”, when it exists all around us: just put a man in a car

When I hear a motorist talking all I hear is “ooh ooh ooh eee eee eee aah aah aah” and wait for them to start throwing their faeces

Rats in a cage. Keep putting more of them in and see what happens. We’re just rats in a cage.

Why the hell do we I do it?

FTFY.

…and no idea mate.

The twin ideals of power and safety.

Some people feel disproportionately powerful behind the wheel of a car. The reasons for this are varied and complex. When someone challenges this an equally disproportionately sense of outrage is felt, stands to reason.

Most people feel safe inside a car, in comparison to standing on a pavement or riding a bike on the road. They do not believe they will be easily harmed. Add this to the sense of outrage above and normal limits of behaviour are easily removed, leading to the sort of behaviour you desscribe.

This is why the vast majority of (the relatively small number) of drivers who will sound a horn, shout, gesticulate or even drive threateningly towards a cyclist will not get out of the car to discuss an incident (real or perceived) when challenged to do so.

OP – I reckon most people in the situation you describe would not have acted in the way you did. Calm down.

A lot of us have a disproportionate reaction to incidents on the road and behave in ways we wouldn’t in other situations. I don’t know why.

Same goes for being on the other end of a broadband connection too!

The twin ideals of power and safety.

I disagree, the only times I ever get really angry in my car is when someone shatters the illusions of power and safety that I usually feel when I am driving.

what mood were in you in before you got into the car?, 99% of the time if your heads gone as soon as you drive off this will be magnified in your driving.

the best i ever head was in a multi story car park with my mother. i was driving down one lane between parked cars and got to the t-junction and a woman in a car cam from the left, i did see her at the last moment and stopped, she stopped and give me ‘the bird’ ranted some choice words and drove off.

i really do not get the psychology of people, i could have been a total nutter, jumped out and kicked seven bells out of her.

people think they are invinvible behind the wheel, there was a survey done and they reckon due to th ecurrent ‘climate’ people are more stressed and road rage has shot up.

Oh, this one’s easy.

It’s because you feel so far removed from the situation of dealing with another person face to face. Fighter pilots feel little grief shooting each other down, but infantry soldiers faced with another human have historically struggled to pull the trigger.

The same thing happens posting on internet forums; furious exchanges full of venom when we are shielded by the medium and which would never occur face to face.

people think they are invinvible behind the wheel

This is it precisely. Those big metal boxes have two functions in this regard, your car gives you a feeling of invulnerability and the other drivers are depersonalised inside theirs. Combine that with having too many people trying to get somewhere in too little time on roads that weren’t designed for modern traffic volumes and you get road rage.

Oddly, when I lived in London for a few years I experienced much less road rage than previously because driving there was just so much more mental that I literally couldn’t keep it up. I burned out after a few weeks of apoplectic rage. I developed a sort of zen disregard for other people’s idiocy, looked out for myself and just let everything else go. One memorable highlight was being deliberately shunted a foot or so across a t-junction by an impatient white van man, who looked really confused when just I smiled and waved at him before driving off, rather than getting out to pick a fight. Obviously the guy was a class-A dickhead, but yelling that at him would have achieved nothing – I like to think that giving him a reaction he didn’t expect may actually have made more of an impression.

you are a massive dickhead…

No…, YOU are a massive dickhead.

I’m a massive dickhead and so is my wife! 😀

Oh hang on, I jolly well have not got a wife….

As this place is anonymous I can freely admit to acting the self same way, when I think about it as I often do when acting irrationally, I put it down to general insecurity coupled to a deep seated childhood based inferiority complex matched to a terrible temper brought about by lack of parental control in my formative years.

The solution drive something big and slow

Elf, at least you’ve got a search criteria now.
Though match.com don’t seem to have a must be a dickhead box 😀

Oh hang on, I jolly well have not got a wife….

i doubt that comes as a major shock to your fellow posters 🙂

At least you appear to appreciate your reaction was excessive which means you may sort yourself out in time. Not sure I’d want to meet you on the road in the meantime

THIS
You seem to think he had road rage when you do this with your kids in the car and only their presence stopped you escalting it to a personal confrontation outside the car. WHY? what were you hoping to achieve an apology, a free round of golf and a hearty handshake?

Going on from phil.w post, have you ever had cyclist rage against another cyclist when cycling?

I have played chicken a number of times with cyclists coming the other way on a single path/track, with both of us swapping sides to avoid each other, but it only seems to bring out a smile when it happens 😉

I think it’s the degree of removal from the situation. It’s like yelling at the TV.

I’m prone to the odd outburst, but it’s venting frustration rather than intentionally directed at anyone. Mostly when I get carved up or whatever I’m more incredulous than angry.

I suffer from the red mist sometimes as well, I am aware of it though and try to calm down.

Along with the feeling of power and safety we also get used to our cars as a private space so when someone threatens that private space we get overly protective of it and become far angrier than we would in other situations.

I think the road rage thing is magnified in this country though by the fact that Britain tends to be on the whole a pretty polite and helpful place* Even on the roads we let people out of junctions and wave thank you all the time. So when someone beeps at you you tend to get a lot more upset by it than you would in a lot of other countries where the car horn is used as a more frequent means of expression (everywhere in Europe south and east of Germany!)

*May not apply to London

We ????

WE don’t… you obviously do….

not many other horse riders to rage at? 😉

Keep it up, it’s good entertainment for us sane people and makes my journey to work that little bit more amusing.

I love watching, both parties act like 8ft powerfully wrestlers whilst in their cars, despite normally being fat balding morons with a terrible home life, normally when one takes it a step further and gets out of the car the other panics like a little girl about to get kidnapped.

I remember studying road rage at college – the line of research suggested that it’s due to ‘micro-gestures’.

When we’re using a Zebra crossing in the middle of a busy high-street, we somehow manage to avoid bumping into everybody, as we make ‘micro gestures’ about which way we’re planning on moving. We subconsciously take note of other people’s gestures, and adjust our own path accordingly. Also, we make tiny physical micro-gestures saying “Oops, sorry, nearly bumped into you.”

In a car, we cannot see the other persons gestures, so we cannot adjust our path of travel. Therefore we feel frustrated by the lack of communication (and lack of ‘oops, I’m sorry, my mistake’) other road users engage with us. In some people, this frustration builds up into physical anger.

(That theory may have changed since I did it about 10 years ago at college!)

In Dartmouth the other week I heard the best posh car related argument:-

Posh 1 – You just needed to bally well pull on to the kerb
Posh 2 – I did not want to – you should have stopped and let me through.
Posh 1 – Piffle – you are a silly man!
Posh 2 – I am on my way- I will remember you!
Posh 1 – Bhaaa – No, I will remember you! Good day!

The fact that both were driving beat up little hatchbacks of the sort you are only allowed to buy if you are over 65 and promise to keep a blanket on the parcel shelf only added to the chuckle factor for passers by. If only all arguments could be that civil.