Rate my joke out of 100

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  • Rate my joke out of 100
  • sc-xc
    Member

    I went swimming the other day, the pool was full of spicy chicken and red pepper.

    It was a fajita’ed pool.

    😐

    I’d say that’s up there with the best?

    Premier Icon boxelder
    Subscriber

    Assuming it’s based on ‘heated pool’, 13/100

    andy7t2
    Member

    poor i’d give you 10

    davidjones15
    Member

    If you have to explain it…

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    you need the “hey, that’s nacho cheese” joke if you’re going Mexican

    sc-xc
    Member

    If you have to explain it…

    I didn’t have to explain it, just sew several sides back together.

    sc-xc
    Member

    you need the “hey, that’s nacho cheese” joke if you’re going Mexican

    Possibly my favourite Mexican joke. Along with ‘Bacon Tree’, ‘Poncho Repair Kit’ and ‘To-Keeeel-her’

    Hadge
    Member

    Don’t give up the day job – a proper “Eurovision Song Contest” score – nil points

    sc-xc
    Member

    Ok. How about this one.

    A while ago, when making TV documentaries for the BBC….I was stopped by the police for having a dodgy brake light.

    They gave me a producer.

    😐

    nealy
    Member

    Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

    Because Ken comes in a different box.

    sc-xc
    Member

    oK.

    I was delighted when my wife came home the other day saying she had scooped top prize by correctly choosing six numbers. Her prize was ‘driving home for Christmas’, ‘Auberge’ and ‘Road to Hell’.

    She had won the National Lot-a-Rea

    😐

    Premier Icon piedi di formaggio
    Subscriber

    Any non pun based jokes? Preferably funny ones 😈

    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Where do Martians get their mercury from?

    HG Wells.

    Premier Icon ton
    Subscriber
    Premier Icon Cougar
    Subscriber

    Any non pun based jokes?

    Oh. Sorry.

    Preferably funny ones

    Oh. Sorry.

    Rickos
    Member

    How do you get a load of Canadians out of the pool?

    Could you all get out of the pool now please.

    Premier Icon cheshirecat
    Subscriber

    Quantum physicists pantomime….

    Puss in Box

    tazzymtb
    Member

    What’s yellow and smells like marge?

    Homer Simpson’s fingers.

    Premier Icon ton
    Subscriber

    😯

    unovolo
    Member

    And Tazzy wins by the fact his was the only funny joke πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon Scapegoat
    Subscriber

    Two Mexican detectives discussing the murder of Juan Gonzales.

    “Accordeeng to ze postmortem ‘ee was shot weez a golf gun”

    “Pedro, what eez a golf gun?”

    “I donts know, but eet make a hole in Juan”

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    What do you call a septic cat?

    Puss.

    sc-xc
    Member

    And Tazzy wins by the fact his was the only funny joke

    I could win STW art club by posting a picture drawn by Rolf Harris!

    If you lot can’t make your own jokes up, that’s fine…. πŸ˜†

    tazzymtb
    Member

    I can make my own jokes up……..they just get me banned πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon MoreCashThanDash
    Subscriber

    I couldn’t beleive it when my wife came home and told me that bloke from the Monkeez had died.

    Then I saw her face.

    Now I’m a bereaver….

    bobbyg81
    Member

    Whats pink and fluffy?

    Pink fluff.

    bbb
    Member

    Last weekend my dad took us to the zoo.
    The only animal they had was a dog in a cage.
    It was a Shih Tzu.

    ketchup
    Member

    I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now

    I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back

    Premier Icon Coyote
    Subscriber

    Two old dears sat on a bench. One said “Isn’t it windy?” “No it’s Thursday” said the other. “So am I. Let’s have a cup of tea” replied the first.

    Two nuns walking through a park. A streaker ran past. Mother Superior had a stroke, the other wasn’t quick enough.

    Two nuns in a bath. One says “Where’s the soap?” The other replied “It does, doesn’t it.”

    tazzymtb
    Member

    The Beastie Boys are launching a new five-part fanzine, documenting their rise to stardom.

    Parts A to D will be freely available in the shops for general purchase but, consistent with their band’s ethos, you’ll have to fight for your right to Part E.

    petergriffin
    Member

    Bloke walks into a fruit and veg shop. ” I’ll have a pound of carrots, a punnet of strawberries, pound of apples and half a pound of wasps.
    ” We dont sell wasps, we sell fruit and veg” says the greengrocer. Bloke says..
    “Well, you got them in the window”

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Where do Martians get their mercury from?

    HG Wells.

    Now that ^^^ is funny.

    martinxyz
    Member

    The previous one aint. <click>

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