Had a funny conversation with a person at O2 today while upgrading my phone:

“So, as standard, we block access to certain websites over the data network, like, erm,…”
“Like gambling sites?”
“Yes! Like gambling sites. And, erm, you know, other sites.”
“Hate speech, that kind of thing?”
“Yes! Those too. And, well, over-18 sites as well of course. So, do you want us to leave those filters on?”
“No, turn them off please.”

So, last night the whole porn filter thing cropped up in conversation and I mentioned to Mrs Danny that the whole thing was ridiculous, would never work etc.

I then proffered the suggestion that we would opt out. Well, that didn’t go down (no pun intended) particularly well. I explained my reasoning – that babybgoode would be better served being properly educated on how to use the internet safely, that perfectly legitimate sites would be blocked, that some porn would not be blocked (page 3 Mr Cameron or will that upset your Tory donors at news International) etc.

The argument raged and she is convinced that I just want to watch some poorly shot grumble flicks. I have tried to protest my innocence and suggest if she is that worried about my browsing habits she can install a CCTV camera pointing to my monitor or just sit there and watch me bang away on STW.

Still no joy.

I then made the fatal error of making the pointing out that it actually didn’t matter whether the filter was on or off as I already knew how to bypass it…

Well, lets just say I could have perhaps handled the whole thing a bit better!

Im so glad im not hetrosexual in a monogamous relationship, I really am….

she has her faults but I love her nonetheless.

Cheers

Danny B

Wait – who wrote the OP?

WTF are proxies??

They are the nasty rash you get from watching too much internet porn

Wait – who wrote the OP?

Danny B, except he wanted to keep it anonymous just in case his wife was reading.

There was a complete knob’ish debate on that silly Jeremy Vine R2 “me, me, me” show yesterday prattling on about this, to be fair to JV he did put some logical questions to “call me Dave” to which “CMD” could only answer “erm, no not like that, like this” & “no, it’s upto the ISP’s to put the filters on”
Well thought out idea Dave, thanks for your input 🙄

😀 some excellent stuff here

Cheers stw

EDit: to be clear I’m thanking the stw massiv not postong as them

Slainte Rob

What! There’s porn on the internet??? The hours I’ve wasted searching under hedges for stashes of damp razzles….

Wonder if they will enforce that for business, used to cost us £10K a year to stop staff being unnecessarily exposed to inappropriate material

Nowadays even goat porn is big budget and HD.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Simply explain that you have certain needs that she is not fulfilling, and that she has a choice- either you can fulfil those needs using the internet, or she can up her game. That’ll resolve the issue.

Nowadays even goat porn is big budget and HD.

more like no budget!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3072021.stm

I can foresee a late night conversation with Talk Talk customer services…

“And now I’m having to have proper sex with girls because I can’t yank meself off around the clock”

I reckon this will be a choice on the ISP’s automated phone line. Press 5 if you are a w****r.

I’ve been thinking about this after camerons inability to denounce page 3 on radio 4 yesterday. The internet has effectivly made and broken the porn industry. As HD cameras become domestic goods, anyone can shoot good quality films, which with increasing broadband takeup can be effectivlel streamed or downloaded and shared for free. No one pays for porn. It has become less of a commodity and more of a household product, it is, to coin a phrase, the new smoking.

now, what if a major studio offered the tories a lot of money to ban internet grot? suddenly DVD sales go through the roof, “adult shops” start increasing turnover, porn becomes a paid for industry again…. prohibition could be very good for business.

Simply explain that you have certain needs that she is not fulfilling, and that she has a choice- either you can fulfil those needs using the internet, or she can up her game. That’ll resolve the issue

Its a brave man that takes that approach….!

Im so glad im not hetrosexual in a monogamous relationship, I really am….

What’s that got to do with it? I am heterosexual in a monogamous relationship, and we both decided right away that there was no sodding way we were letting David Cameron and the Daily Wail lecture us on morality.

Some simple methods
1) it really won’t work so just ignore it
2) it will block hundreds of sites you would normally look at & the daily mails celebrity bikini pics
3) just unblock it – the bill probably won’t come addressed to That nasty pervert @

I would imagine STW is now on the list due to the topics discussed recently and hopefully the bastion of moral crusading that is mumsnet for it’s blatent pornographic threads about Centre Parks

But in simple terms how would it stop this?

New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, who was forced to resign from Congress over a sexting scandal, has admitted sending more lewd texts and photographs to a young woman.

According to news website The Dirty, Mr Weiner, 48, used the name “Carlos Danger” to contact the woman on Facebook and establish an online relationship with her which involved the exchange of intimate photographs.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-24/weiner-bid-for-ny-mayor-seat-hit-by-new-sex-scandal/4839518

Thats right darling, if they turn the grot filter on it’s fine I will just make a fake facebook profile and swap pics with other strangers online.

What’s that got to do with it?

I think the idea was to sneer at heterosexuals in a monogamous relationships for effect. And of course she is allowed to do that – anyone saying “I’m so glad I’m not a homosexual” would expect to receive considerable criticism.

If your wife has a problem with you looking at porn you’re with the wrong woman or she doesn’t know you at all. My wife understands that men have a very primitive urge to crack off at least once/twice a week minimum. There are certain times of month where a wife is not willing (& neither is the man either for that matter ewww) to fulfill those urges, during that time a man must see to himself or risk explosion in a salty sticky mess!

compositepro – Member
Would like to see a graph of UK Internet traffic volume before and after they turn that on!
Get in!!! a geographical map of where all the real w@nkers are

There’ll be very large clusters around various government and civil service establishments.
It’s already common knowledge that IP address searches show that lots of illegal downloading of grot and music takes place in government departments.
The same people who’ve been trying to introduce Internet control, encouraged by the Americans, at the behest of Hollywood.

What’s that got to do with it? I am heterosexual in a monogamous relationship, and we both decided right away that there was no sodding way we were letting David Cameron and the Daily Wail lecture us on morality.

Plus one.

Not sure Cameron is in a position to lecture on anyone’s morality.

very primitive urge to crack off at least once/twice a day

Fixed that for you

From Horatios link

They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.

Right then, I’ve got 30min before I have to leave for work.

*spits on palms

Can’t imagine being married to a woman who didn’t know/got upset about me watching porn, surely people (except religious idiots) are more enlightened these days…

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/183608/covered-in-ectoplasm

Im so glad im not hetrosexual in a monogamous relationship, I really am….

I’m glad I’m heterosexual and in a monogamous relationship. I watch porn I’d be a fool to think my wife didn’t know or care given at times she’s watched it with me. So what’s your point?

Im so glad im not hetrosexual in a monogamous relationship, I really am….

Taking the not trying to be offended point of view there are heaps of posts on here with blokes looking for passes to go riding, sneaking bike purchases past their wives, copping a heap of stick for doing something then complaining about it here. The stereotype of the whipped man hiding from ‘er indoors is probably alive and well enough to poke fun at.

Ahhh, that’s better.

Damn it Mike I never thought of the weak ones who post on here about such things.

Hang on a minute? There’s porn on the internet?! 😯

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72nrFIgFNB4[/video]

It’ll not happen.

In the same way they u-turned on the minumum charge for a unit of alcohol, too many people in high-up places (including MPs) will lose out, so the government will change their mind again…

If it does, its back to keeping an eye out for hedgerow-razzle…

Is it just me, or is the creation of a database which says which major political figures like to download a bit of porn just asking for trouble? Instant hacking/paying somebody at the ISPs target.

It’s also a political minefield, as every MP will have to answer the question as to whether they have turned the filter off, so they’ll either have to not watch any porn, lie, or admit in public that they watch a load of porn.

I’m pushing for the discrimination angle. This law will discriminate against people who like traditional porn with cocks and things while in the meantime, people who like rubbing off to a nicely shaved poodle will be able to continue unfettered. I’ll see you at the European halls of justice.

this thread is cracking me up thought I’d share I with the missus but I think I’ll keep this one to myself lest she get any ideas

You don’t see so much of that these days, porn in bushes. Or bushes in porn, for that matter.

(C) Jimmy Carr.

LOL @ piemonster.. 🙂

I’ve shared this thread with my Mrs (a mums netter) and she thought it was hilarious. But as for freedom in the country. … Since when have we turned into China ffs?

Cheers for that binners 😀 Quagmire reminds me of a less randy version of myself