I find Ecclefechan particularly expresive. A mate to uses Buxton when her daughter is around.

shiitake mushrooms

chunt

bollox instead of bollocks.

Phuket

****

fiddlesticks

A headmaster from back in my youth once told me something marvellous.

“If you really must swear, try this….

‘Oh FUC……….rying out loud!”

Frak works for me. Thank you Battlestar Gallactica.

Mrs BigJohn (primary school teacher) often uses “Sugar” when in earshot of pupils.

“Shig and Butter” is also heard.

Gosh and pish

another one for frak, good old BSG

how about machyntleth

Someone put a swear jar in the office, all swear words are 10p except ‘chunt’ which is £1.

So now my friend you are a ‘pound’ 🙂

Crikey!

Pistachio, if my niece is around.

Bafoon or chimp at the mo

Melonfarmer
frickin’
jeepers (for the odd christian chum who gets a bit miffed with all the name in vain malarky)

Fishcakes

Ow shyst!

Normally when something goes pear shaped here at work!

“go to Buxton”………………no idea why

Yikes and crikey.

I may shortly move on to tophole and spiffing.

continental instead of cnuting awful

Whilst I try my hardest not to swear at work or at home, I also try not to soften the blow when I am finally forced to swear.

Hence, words like Damn and Blast, possibly even “ah”, get replaced by the usual suspects when I finally reach the end of my patience.

I do like Yikes and Crikey. Old swearwords are where it’s at though, or silly ones…

Gadzooks!
Drat!
Smeg!

If you fany insulting someone, try calling them a ‘mothering-chumraa’ and see what reaction you get…..
🙂

Frak and smeg work fine for me.

Although i always find swearing in foreign languages especially useful