Out of the mouths of the ageds

I was working at a elderly customers house…ive been there before and know he has memory issues.

So we got chatting and he decide to tell me a joke

“So when I was younger we had a bloke name Bob I used to drink with

We would go to this pub called King George pub”….then he would stop…and forget

So he starts again..

“We had this pub called the King and my best mate Bob used to drink there one day this bird walks in and orders this drink called…..now what was it called”…..he would stop again…and start again

And again……and again

5th time now

“i used to go drinking when I was younger…lovely pub called the King George…had great times there with my mate….er …er”

I would then chip in….”Bob”

He goes…”that’s right Bob….do you know him….”

By then I’m dying with laughter…….and he joins in…

Great days….RIP Bill

I was staying with Grandma while my parents were abroad and she declared that I needed a haircut, I was 16 and had a mildly trendy, longish mop of hair at the time.

She marches be up to the barber where Grandad always got his haircut but , thankfully, it was closed so we went to what I thought looked a much cooler barbers shop with a few punky looking guys smoking while they waited for their cut. She walked me in, took one look at the young barber and said, loud enough for everyone to hear of course, “You have tattoos so your not cutting my grandsons hair, he’s a nice boy. Where do nice boys get their hair cut?”

The barber just grinned and said there was a ladies salon just up the road which was popular with ‘nice boys’

Oh, and on the subject of remote controls mentioned earlier. She always kept the remote control on top of the TV and made Grandad get up and walk over to it to change channel.

She always said that it was so that he didn’t lose it but one Christmas let slip that she had seen him trying the zap their budgie with it and was scared he would fry it with the microwaves.

He interjected that it was an infrared remote and he was just seeing if he could singe the poor bird.

My grandmother grew up in Germany in the interwar years where education was clearly compromised. She was taught that the pyramids had grown and were a natural phenomenon instead of being manmade. Had to explain to her about the Egyptian empire

One of my grandmothers grew up in Germany during the interwar years.

The other grew up in Sudan and Egypt – she went to school in Cairo.

They both ended up in England after the war. They must have met at my parents’ wedding, family xmas etc. I wonder if they ever talked about pyramids?

During the first lockdown, living in a small rural Norfolk village, there was a request to help various elderly neighbours get shopping and bits, I was given a neighbour in next road, Roland, to help.

He was a fascinating guy, been a military policeman in Suez crisis and served all over, so we had some good chats.

His wife was taken in to hospital just before COVID struck, and he couldn’t see her, and she passed away, and there was a long delay before she could be buried.

About 2 weeks after she was finally buried, i went round expecting the usual list of bread, milk, and the various sweet treats he liked. When he asked for a particular bottle of whisky. I managed to find it and took it round to him.

He asked if i’d have a drink with him, and i asked if all was ok? He replied “I’m celebrating knowing she is finally dead, she’s made my life living hell for 58 years!”

I wasn’t quite sure how to reply to that….especially as he was such a quiet spoken gentle man.

He interjected that it was an infrared remote and he was just seeing if he could singe the poor bird.

WCA – the origin story