Other half just walked out

"what do you couples do after they run out of things to say to each other? — they get married"

How many couples do we all know who've lived together happily for years, got married and split up before the first anniversary? I know of three.

Seen other scenarios too… a friend (lets call her 'M') lives with 'D' for years. They're happy, love each other, relaxed but M wants a sign of commitment, D won't do it. He doesn't see the point. Eventually this proves too much for M and they fall apart (relatively amicably). Within a year D has met someone else, got engaged and married.

She has given you 8 yrs and you've not taken the hint. She didn't get a response she wanted, so she did something about it. As hinted at earlier – are you gutted she has gone or do you think you can change and give her the lifetime commitment she wants and more on her terms?

She might think it has gone too far – as her actions hint at.

Sounds like she wants a baby to me.

Autoelec – how you feeling? Any news? Do things seem different today? 🙂

Not bad thanks, better than yesterday. Saw her this morning – which was good (at least she knows how I feel). I'm Remaining positive and realising time and space is good.

Space rocks. It really does. I reckon that's why I ride a bike a lot. And it's why I do it by myself all the time.

Buy a new bike then ride that…

8 years eh how old are you both then please ?

Agree with the mighty Samuri, space is fantastic. I too ride alone to experience the solitude… and also to avoid the humiliation.

**** it she left if she cares she'll be back if not then you'll find another. For now sit in the sofa, unbutton your jeans, hand down undies, cans of lager to hand, porn on TV.

Your friends are going to be handy now, this is when they come in best.

Sorry to be blunt but women who try to play on emotions aren't worth it.

Sorry to be almost nasty with this comment but I have been there got the t shirt etc

As my wise old Pa used to say

"do not look back it is not the direction you are heading in"

Not easy but once they clear out, says it all I am afraid to say and to be fair it does take some bottle for her, yes there are two sides to every dissagreement.

Whatever happens be decent and be a man

After being married for 13 years my ex upped and left ( I guess realy we just fell out of love with each othere), it WAS hard £80k and a divorce later I have moved on and much happier for it now, one day I may get the chance to thank her, but to this day I have never bad mouthed her, I would not wish her any harm. But alas she became a stranger who I no longer knew.

Do lots of stuff you enjoy doing. Go on a holiday with mates, etc.

If you still want her back after a few months, then try talking.

OP, knock her over the head and keep her captive in the cellar. With time she will be like a fine wine to enjoy and procreate with.

**** it she left if she cares she'll be back

What a load of nonsense Drac.

For now sit in the sofa, unbutton your jeans, hand down undies, cans of lager to hand, porn on TV.

Your friends are going to be handy now, this is when they come in best.

But presumably friends will only help Autoelec have a w4nk if they really love him ?

Some women are very odd, requiring marriage as a "sign of commitment". Takes more commitment to remain with someone when not legally required to. But really is something you should have noticed earlier if that's the sort of person she is!

Some women are very odd, requiring marriage as a "sign of commitment".

In the spirit of fairness, it is not just women that can be like that. I know of at least two male friends that consistently scare off girlfriends by needing signs of serious commitment.

Don't forget. A woman has more rights if she is married if she is also thinking of children down the line.

Plus there are some peeps (both sides) who beleive in marriage in many many ways. Nothing wrong with that.

Strap a set on.

In the spirit of fairness, it is not just women that can be like that. I know of at least two male friends that consistently scare off girlfriends by needing signs of serious commitment.

Very true, I have such friends also.

But presumably friends will only help Autoelec have a w4nk if they really love him ?

You seem very close to your friends there GG.

May I suggest flash grenades, dark clothing and a storming of someones rear bomb doors?

follow your gut feeling.i went throught a very messy time with a gf and we argued loads, but i wimped out a lot and agreed to stay when i should have mtfu and left. i couldnt handle the pain of being on my own so thats why i always wimped out and took the easy option.
now im married with kids to said gf and luckily it actually all works ok…just. sometimes i cant help thinking …what if…

what ever you decide, be a man about it.sometimes the most painful decisions are the right ones..if thats the case dont be scared to make them…its for the best in the long run,if thats whats needed.

now im married with kids to said gf and luckily it actually all works ok…just. sometimes i cant help thinking …what if…

Ouch – that gotta hurt. How do you stop the demons in your head from talking?

You seem very close to your friends there GG.

But not as close, as you apparently are to yours Drac.

But not as close, as you apparently are to yours Drac.

I have friends. 😀

I have friends

…..ones which apparently "come in best" and are "handy" when you need to "sit in the sofa, unbutton your jeans, hand down undies".

Good for you mate ………. I'm open minded 8)

Good for you mate ………. I'm open minded

So it seems. "But presumably friends will only help Autoelec have a w4nk if they really love him"

So it seems.

Is this a first Drac ………..that we agree on something ?

Is this a first Drac ………..that we agree on something ?

Now you are being silly.

You don't realise how good being single and free to do whatever the fvck you like is until you get married. I don't know people fear being alone.

I've got a mate who's 39 and wallows in self pity cos he isn't married yet and most of us are now settled with kids. I keep telling him there's times when us married ones wish we were free of all the commitment and responsibility of being husbands and fathers.

Dialledmike. I have female friends in their mid-30's pretty depressed as they are approaching the age when only guys with baggage are available so can see both perspectives.

Of course, when drunk I have offered my services shamelessly for me to become a selfless Poligamist. Theres one female friend in particular (a Korean) who I would grin and bear to make everyone….happy

I reckon she wants marriage and babies, which is not unexpected for ladies. If her leaving makes you realise you want the same, then maybe sod the loss of pride: just get the ring, bended knee, beg forgiveness, tears etc. Right away.

BTW. [and this is a bit uncomfortable to ask] Are you absolutely sure there is no-one else on the scene? Because if there is, things are more complex.

buzz-lightyear – Member
BTW. [and this is a bit uncomfortable to ask] Are you absolutely sure there is no-one else on the scene? Because if there is, things are more complex.

Yeah, that's true – it's not that unlikely if she has been dropping hints for 8 years that the trigger for her finally leaving is actually finding another potential candidate.

Does happen, no doubt about it.

Jonnyvegas – she's 30 i'm 29.

The comments about a third party – unfounded, after spending a lot of time with her I know it would have been easier to tell me that than taken the route she has.

Bluto would say "my advice to you is to start drinking heavily".

chin up 🙂

If you don't want to marry someone (but are otherwise totally committed) and they run off because you won't, they sound totally selfish and needy to me! don't you want a partner who respects what you want too?

I stuck with my ex for about 5yrs longer than I should have really. In the process she took me down with her and I started to seriosuly doubt a few things about myself. Eventually it reached a head and it fell apart. At the time I felt liberated on one hand and lonely on the other. 3 months later I felt like a new person and was enjoying life fully again. I met a girl at that point but didn;t want a gf at the time so said I'd keep in touch. We got married in march this year and life is tops. That wasn't my plan, sh1t happens sometimes for the good ….

NZCol, thats beautiful. Sometimes though the guy is at fault. Likes being stuck in a rut and when the girl shakes this apathy he starts to feel threatened and resents the girl, putting the blame firmly at her door. OP is this you???

GW – Member

If you don't want to marry someone (but are otherwise totally committed) and they run off because you won't, they sound totally selfish and needy to me! don't you want a partner who respects what you want too?

Works both ways….and it's one of those things where I think it's unfair to blame either party (i.e. the one who doesn't want to commit and the one who feels the need to be married). Neither can help the way they feel and neither would be 'at fault' or a 'worse person' for choosing to end the relationship because of it. Just my opinion, of course.

LittleBunny has a very good point of view.