Weever decided to call it a dace on this thread.

hopefully the scales of justice will find them in the end 😳

If the police catch her she will say she has a (h)alibi but the cops will saithe it’s a load of pollocks

Absolute gold this thread.
Sorry that’s all I could come up with, I’m like a fish out of water on this kind of thread. I can’t think of any others but that’s probably just me, I’d like turbet there’s plenty left

They are considering it a skate crime.

“Without warning, the woman has picked up a large bream from the fish stall and slapped the worker across the face before running out of the store,” said the statement from Lancashire Constabulary

Best official statement ever.
Apart from the casual abuse of tenses, obviously.

Sounds like there was a small grouper offenders there, what with her wee pal recording it on his phone.

It’s a slippery slope – first a bit of fish slapping but before too long its tench warfare.

Stop being so shellfish you lot, get off your high Perches
Eel bet you wouldn’t like being Gludgeon-ed in your Puffer either
If caught Halibut she Cod do a Tench in Coley for this

It’s a load of pollocks if you ask me.

HIT HIM HARDER! HIT HIM HARDER! GO FOR THE KRILL!

Seems they were angling to hook some comedy footage, but as I sea it, they made a gaff… sharking can be funny, but they should’ve put this on ice; poaching someones dignity like that is below parr childish behavior and just a pisc-take… still, I suppose it could’ve been worse; with a roe of spectators egging-on the abuse.

I’m going to push the boat out and say I think a Manta man duel is in order, the scales redressed with the victim armed with a prize catch and the antagonist like a fish out of water with minnow-mal weaponry.

Perhaps then justice would come out on tope as the victim was basking in the glory, mako-ing the porbeagirl have a great white whale of a time, while the perchpetrator just looked like a moby dick on youtube.

Wait, were they School kids?

FIN.

Suspect described as a short nosed sucker with a sarcastic fringe

This story wasn’t even reel!
They’ve got you hook line and sinker 😆

It’s thought the culprit escaped on a bike, riding down a flight of steps without a single dab.

I wouldn’t bream of doing something like that.

Probably not so funny if you live there…

Bump. Or should I say…..dump! Arf arf