Need to vent. In-laws content

OMFG they’ve been here 2 weeks and they’re driving me spare!!!!

FIL – in terrbile physical shape. Also has a phlegmy cough the entire time he’s been here. Sleeps all day, up all night on his Laptop, coughing up. Finishes every sentence or movement with “ooooh dear”. Zero personal hygiene. Greenies in tissues in the recycling bin. No concept of cooking or making a brew for anyone! Eats dinner then walks off, plate on table! Bought a pack of 24 ANZAC biscuits. Ate 20 in a day. I asked if there were any for the kids, so he buys another 24! Kids said they had one each. 48 ANZAC biscuits in 2 days?!!?!?!?!?

MIL. Has some kind of gastric hiccup which then makes her burp too. It sounds like she’s vomiting then burping. I asked her if she was OK. She said it “doesn’t bother anyone else” (cue side eye from my wife). She also has a knack of asking a question, hearing the answer, then saying “I know”. I don’t think she’s had a shower in 2 weeks. The other day we went to a party and she said she was gonna “wash her armpits” in the bathroom. Likes to jump in when me or the missus are telling the kids off. Often says “I was just sayin'” or “I was just thinking”. She sits at the dining table – in silence. I can’t put music on cos “she can’t hear herself think!”.She’ll sit there, he’ll take up majority of the sofa while staring at his laptop. She doesn’t wash up, but puts a little bit of water in cups and bowls and leaves them on the side to “soak”. It’s had a bloody cuppa in it for all of 5 mins. What are you soaking?

I’m actually getting annoyed at this whole post now. FFS. Thought it might be cathartic! Damn.

Had to get the out of my system. Nearly 10pm and I’m finishing shift and heading back. Thank FK for noise cancelling headphones and my shed. 😀

Are your in-laws aged 13-17…cos they sound like a pair of stinky teens!!!

DrP

I am sure it will be ok go for a ride or something unfortunately we all get old.

Why are they there again?

(This is why my house does not have a guest room)

Inlaws. Can’t live with ’em, can’t burn ’em

Well this thread made me google Anzac biscuits – they look nice, maybe I’ll try baking some with my daughter.

Don’t tell your FiL though.

Enjoy the solace of the shed.

Goes off to google ANZAC biscuit…

Checked the list of ingredients I’ll make some tonight

48 in two days would be a stretch even for me though , and I am not a stranger to the biscuit tin

me and my mates have a saying for this…

‘Do something or **** off’

You can’t put music on in your own house?  “How about deal with it or **** off”?  Are there perhaps any adults in the house you can get to ask them to behave themselves?

How long are they there for?

Sorry Aphex_2k, they sound appalling.  You are showing the patience and tolerance of a saint.  I would be either at work, on my bike, in a shed 0r out with friends.  I wouldn’t be at home.

I had a wonderful mother-in-law and a father-in-law was a pain in the arse.  They luckily only lived the other side of the city – so did not have to put up with two-week stays.

Can you introduce some venomous wildlife into their bedroom? Might make them move on more quickly.

For the love of all that is holy, why would you end up in a situation where you’d have the outlaws staying for 2 weeks?

Surely that can only end one way…

48 in two days would be a stretch even for me though

TBF, the FIL only had 46, kids had one each!

Not sure why I’m assuming 2 kids.

Yup, MIL came up “to help out” wife as she’s broken her arm and I had a biking weekend booked for 6 months, all paid for. They fell out on the first night, then she stayed in bed all day Saturday and did F all to help on the Sunday. I cooked a roast dinner on Sunday after I got home and she ate two forkfuls before saying  she was stuffed. All she’d had to eat in two days was two pieces of kid size toast and half a bit of cake. Was supposed to be staying until Monday afternoon but thankfully her partner turned up at 11 to take her home.

Thank god she only comes up twice a year. Oh yeah, it’s such a long way to come for her, but expects us to visit her all the time.

Just give them a bar of soap each, say nothing, then walk out of the room.

What possible reason could there be for such an extended stay? And possibly more importantly, how long until they leave?

That sounds insane. I’d have stabbed someone by now (probably myself).

Oh yeah, it’s such a long way to come for her, but expects us to visit her all the time.

The phrase you’re looking for here is “managing expectations.” 🙂

What possible reason could there be for such an extended stay?

They live in different countries?

I get on well with my other half’s parents… but having anyone staying in your house for two weeks is hard enough… the older generation doubly so.

I’d be more worried about what you’ve married!

wink

i spent 2 weeks with my in-laws a while back, had a week at home then they arrived for a month’s stay. It has been good.

I am surprised

good luck aphex

Surely that can only end one way…

Coke and pavers?

No way would any visitor in my house be telling me to turn down/off my music, or anything else for that matter.
If they don’t like it, they know what they can do.
And if they don’t know, i will gladly explain it to them.
Regardless of who they were.
In exactly the same way as I wouldn’t go to someone else’s house and expect to dictate what was being watched or listened to.

That sounds rubbish op. I hope they improve, leave or both.

I might have some ( non existent) mates hounding me for a bike ride most days if my in-laws were like that.

I’m lucky they are not

I am not a stranger to the biscuit tin

That is an excellent phrase. I fell indeed to get it on the biscuit tin to keep me out the biscuit tin

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/venting

http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/venting/venting.png

48 ANZAC biscuits in 2 days?!!?!?!?!?

Rookie numbers, though thanks for introducing me to ANZAC biscuits.

I get on quite well with my inlaws.

There is no danger of them staying , or even visiting, as my wife fell out with them around 8 years ago and hasn’t spoken to them since. I keep in contact for the sake of the kids , which ironically are the reason for the fallout in the first place.

9/10.

Enjoyed that rant. They sound repulsive.

A fortnight! How are you letting them stay for a fortnight? Decent rant, not enough swearing, random caps or rage induced grammatical errors 7/10

OP hasn’t returned to the thread – too busy burying the bodies perhaps!?

I’m lucky that I’ve got great in-laws. Live on a farm with them, though when we were doing our barn conversion here we lived in a motorhome rather than the farmhouse! Think I’d manage a few days at best nowadays in their actual house. Probably even less with my own parents tbf!

Why don’t they shower? I’ll occasionally skip a day, but 2 weeks, Jesus.

ANZAC biscuits and reference to 10pm……I’m guessing the OP is posting from Aus?

Are your in laws locals or imported poms?

Lots of dodgy creepy crawlies in Australia (and then there’s the insects!) . Accidents do happen…..

Miss Anzac biscuits, though it’s a bit late in the season to be selling them- are they an all year round thing now?

Tell them there’s a local infestation of the drop bears or spiders or some such and they should get a room in a hotel for their own good.

Well this thread made me google Anzac biscuits

aka Hobnobs.

Christ. I think I’d have buried them or myself long before two weeks.

Why are they there?

Re ANZAC biscuits I made my own successfully  in a very short time. Using this recipe https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/anzac-biscuits

I only managed to eat 5 though . Given the easy recipe and short time required I have concluded that it would be within his rights for the OP to tell his father in law to “Go and bake your own ******* biscuits!”

Seems like this is EXACTLY the situation that thallium, arsenic, and hemlock were put on the earth for.

Just had a look at that BBC biscuit recipe, and my mum used to bake tins full years ago! She wasn’t a great cook, old-school English cooking, but those are a piece of cake to make… *mutleysnigger*

She sits at the dining table – in silence. I can’t put music on cos “she can’t hear herself think!”.

I’d be putting music on, as and when I want; I get a complaint, “my house, my rules. You want quiet, go outside and think”.

My in laws are great bit we still have a rule of max 3 days together or we’d kill each other.

Bill Bryson: House guests are like fish; nice when fresh but they go off after three days

Or words to that effect.

I love my in-laws, they all live in Brazil.