Hora, I will chip in for you to have a lesson, as long as I can film it and publish the outcome.
I can picture the blog now:
Ok, who gave this freak my details? Hora turned up 30 minutes late, messed around for a bit and then informed me that he was off to get a coffee but would be back shortly. When he did make it back two hours later, he got his bike out of the car, sat on it and promptly fell off. I looked at his setup; oh, dear. He had his brake levers at different angles and for some reason his front shifter was zip-tied to the stem. After 45 minutes, I managed to get it something like normal but he then announced that he felt that the forks weren’t right so drove to the nearest bike shop to buy some more.
An hour later and he came back. We fitted the forks just as the sun dipped below the horizon, at which point he informed me that he had to rush off to John Lewis before it closed as he wanted to buy some scatter cushions and a Laura Ashley throw that were in the sale.
No High5 for you, buffalo head.