Here’s one for you STW: the wife of a mate of mine went away for a week with work, and when she was away he had the house repainted top to bottom, carpets cleaned, and her car valeted as well as having people in to do the garden – he’d been nagged repeatedly to do this work over the last few months.

She’s back now and isn’t very grateful, she says because he paid someone else to do the work it “doesn’t count”. His argument is that he went out to work to earn the money to pay someone else to do the work, so it’s the same thing.

What do the STW massive think? I can see his point of view, but is it rather like buying a cake from tesco instead of making it yourself? Or is it a case of bloody women, eh?

She had an affair.

I suspect she’s miffed she wasn’t around to be more involved in the whole process.

If he’d have done it himself, she would have been moaning that it wasn’t up to scratch. Some people aren’t happy unless they’re moaning about something.

Tell your mate to send her on a one way trip to Dumpsville.

She had an affair.

Gets my vote.

Yep, I’d tell her to get stuffed and spend her birthday fund on a new bike.

I tell your mate to give her the boot, sounds like a right ungrateful whatsit!

Paying someone to do something isn’t the same as doing it yourself.

She could have organised it herself if thats what was wanted. Why does he not have pride in the home he shares with her. Everyone can find the space in ohh, a year. Theres noting special about getting a man to cut the grass, and lets face its hardly taxing, and money wasted, in a recession.

I see her point, although it is almost totally a uniquely female point of view, that its not the doing, but how something is done thats important. Its not the financial outlay of paying the painter, but the emotional investment in taking pride and doing it yourself.

On a lower level, who takes pride in fixing a bike, rather than just wheeling it down to the bike shop? When I was a nipper, I could’t mend a puncture.. and when I finally learned, it was great!

She’s found a geezer with a bigger c0ck.

If it happened to me and money was an issue I would be massively pee’d off. If money wasn’t the issue I would be over the moon that OH got it all organised and done in a week.

Paying someone to do something isn’t the same as doing it yourself.

I see where you’re coming from but I think that’s missing the point., He thought he was doing something thoughtful, a nice surprise for when she got back from her ‘business trip’. She should have at least kept her opinion to herself and appreciated the gesture. She’s selfish if you ask me.

Makes sense to me. Earn money doing what your good at and get someone in to do what they do.

This should be an ‘Am I being unreasonable….” topic on Mumsnet.

He can come round and shag me for a bit if it gets the decorating done when I go away for the weekend.

DIY is robbing a tradesman of his right to earn a living, that’s what I always tell her

Makes sense to me. Earn money doing what your good at and get someone in to do what they do.

Supporting local businesses too. 😉

seems a bit ungrateful. 🙁

More to the point, why is it purely down to him to get it all sorted? Rather than nagging him to do it, why didn’t she get off her fat arse and do it with him? Ungrateful bint.

he should have pretended he did it all himself

He is only one, slightly lumpy, patio away from happiness.

I thought DIY stood for ‘Don’t Involve Yourself’

Reading between the lines I’d think its more a case that she wishes that they’d both done the decorating together.

Reading between the lines I’d think its more a case that she wishes that they’d both done the decorating together.

I think she’s got the painters in right now…

+1
porter_jamie

I think she’s got the painters in right now…

you are watching the slow death of someones marriage. shes only been nagging him to score points. he only did it that way to score points back, shes just annoyed cos hes 1 nil up. Express no opinion in favour of either party and slowly back away.

that its not the doing, but how something is done thats important

For some stuff, yes. Like organising birthday presents and treats etc. But cleaning? Do me a favour. Cleaning is miserable work that no-one wants to do for free, and if you can pay someone to do it then there should be absoutely no question.

She seems a miserable sod. If she wants to share something together make it something fun. She either has unrealistic expectations or has some other issue, or is feeling defensive and a bit violated that people were in her house but either can’t or doesn’t feel she can express that.

I think it’s more likely to be what eddie said

She wanted him to suffer and thought she’d sorted it – now she’s miffed he didn’t

you are watching the slow death of someones marriage. shes only been nagging him to score points. he only did it that way to score points back, shes just annoyed cos hes 1 nil up. Express no opinion in favour of either party and slowly back away

you may well be on to something there.

I don’t quite understand, Who is Israel and who is Libya?

now she’s miffed he didn’t

… and she’s had an affair.

As if trying to be hurtful once wasn’t enough…

and she’s had an affair.

yeah ………. and that

Frontbums….. 🙄

eddie11-I’ve been there mate 😐

eddie said it better than I was going to try to.

tell him to get out now, as there’s no mention of kids it could all end well for all concerned.

I think announcing the death of this marriage is premature. If he really couldn’t be arsed he wouldn’t have organised all that he did, which must have taken some effort and coordination.

He should do a new patio with her under it.

His pimp-hand is weak.

and her car valeted

he’d been nagged repeatedly to do this work over the last few months

I hope he did that as an extra rather than it being one of his jobs! Sounds like the type that if you gave her a gold bar it would be the wrong colour, get rid. But bear in mind I am single 😀

why is it purely down to him to get it all sorted?

Would be on my list of questions also.

It’s threads like these that that re-affirm my faith in stw-kind 😀