Viewing 39 posts - 1 through 39 (of 39 total)
  • Mixed Metaphors
  • ddmonkey
    Full Member

    Just heard the most fantastic mixed metaphor on the telly, "Going in with both feet blazing", classic.

    So, whats the best real mixed metaphor you've ever heard? 😀

    deluded
    Free Member

    He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    My business partner (in a business called Mixd ironically) is a master of them. 'it's a loss earner' 'pay through the earth' 'sitting on a landmine' are all his inventions ( albeit accidentally). 🙂

    ddmonkey
    Full Member

    Mrs ddmonkey has offered her friend's "don't count your lucky chickens"

    Pembo
    Free Member

    Like a red rag at a gate.

    ddmonkey
    Full Member

    Brilliant – keep em coming… 😆

    mudshark
    Free Member

    It's mudshark's baby – let him run with it

    Like a rabbit out of water

    As deaf as a bat

    A friend in time saves nine

    jon1973
    Free Member

    We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

    roundwheels
    Free Member

    I only have two pairs of hands

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Can you mix the same metaphor up twice in the same mixed metaphor?

    My aunt can:

    It's six of two threes and half a dozen of another.

    skidartist
    Free Member

    "Its no good shooting the horse after the gates been bolted"

    colnagokid
    Full Member

    my mate Young Michael the day after a long night on the ale, "there's only one cure…hair or the rabbit" 😆

    andrewh
    Free Member
    tankslapper
    Free Member

    Mutton dressed as lizard

    bikemonkey
    Free Member

    Does the Pope crap in the woods?

    brakes
    Free Member

    you can't make an omelette without bacon and eggs

    Nick
    Full Member

    Heard in a meeting once

    'If we pull this off we'll be in Nevada'

    he meant Nivana… we posl

    Yes Minister was always good for these.
    The only one I can remember at the moment is "This is a political hot potato. If we don't do something, we're going to end up with egg on our faces"

    flip
    Free Member

    Its not rocket surgery..

    Shibboleth
    Free Member

    Rather un-PC as it uses an unacceptably outmoded word for a fellow of African origins, but I heard this from an old farmer at a livestock auction.

    "Well, that's a bit of a n*****r in the ointment"

    I've been using "fly in the woodpile" ever since.

    toys19
    Free Member

    My fave was on radio four one of blairs babes being interviewed by Humphries:

    "Its a recipe waiting to happen"

    Now every time I chop some veg and have the meat, butter, oil herbs and spices all lined up I announce the same…

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Mutton dressed as lizard

    😆

    SST
    Free Member

    LOL @ mutton dressed as lizard!!! ffs

    bassspine
    Free Member

    Does the Pope crap in the woods?

    only when he's at a festival

    SST
    Free Member

    Courtesy of Scott Adams/Dilbert:

    Sometimes you shoot your foot off to spite your face.
    If it can't be done today, don't wait until tomorrow.
    I'm sweating like a bullet.
    Monday morning the fan is going to hit the roof.
    We're having this meeting to make sure all our ducks are on the same page.
    Yeah, I've got a lot of black sheep in my closet.
    You don't want to put all your legs under one blanket.
    Call me back at your least convenience.
    It's six of one and one of the other.
    I can't do it in the spur of a hat.
    I don’t want to run any flags up the telephone pole.
    You know I’m just pulling your lamb?
    I've been running around like a chicken with my legs cut off.
    This has been a red herring around our necks.
    Like water through a duck's ass.
    We're treading on thin water here.
    Knock it off before I beat you with a dead horse!!!
    I don't want to go out on a limb and shoot myself in the foot.
    "I've just got my feet in too many pies right now."
    Gee, we haven't been here since the last time.
    'I see,' said the blind man to the fly.
    You can argue until your eyeteeth turn blue in the face.
    I swear on my dog's breakfast!
    This library attracts deaf patrons like a siren's song!
    Don't bite the mouth that feeds you.
    I keep telling you these things, but you keep turning a blind cheek to it.
    Screaming like a chicken with its head cut off.
    I hope I haven't used a sledgehammer to teach my grandmother to suck eggs.
    She was born with a silver spoon up her ass.
    This guy's sharp as a cookie.
    I beat it like a red-headed mule!!
    Now, I do not want to toot my own wagon.
    I think you hit the nose right on the head.

    loris
    Free Member

    My old boss:

    "Putting all our eggs in one boat"
    "Too much salt under the bridge"
    "Making a pig for our own back"

    My personal favourite:

    "A whistling women gathers no moss"

    younggeoff
    Full Member

    My old boss ' Water under a ducks back'

    ddmonkey
    Full Member

    Oh dear I have been cying with laughter at this this morning thanks all 😆

    Does the pope crap in the woods… 😆

    Just remember, a stich in time is a friend indeed…

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    Mrs North's a prime exponent of these, her favourite being "between the devil and a hard place", which seems innocent enough, but always gets someone sniggering….

    boblo
    Free Member

    the world is your lobster….

    boblo
    Free Member

    you can't make an omelette without cooking a few eggs….

    obirobkeno
    Free Member

    My cousin used to work with a guy who ALWAYS got these wrong… He's compiling a list at the moment, soon as I get it, I'll post it.

    But this lad always said "Now we're cooking gas!" Rather than cooking ON it… I use his version at every possible opportunity. 😀

    ddmonkey
    Full Member

    "the world is your lobster" are you sure? I thought the world was my hamster?

    smiffy
    Full Member

    goes like shit off a blanket

    TheSanityAssassin
    Full Member

    No way Pedro.

    Not the sharpest bulb in the picnic.

    lookmanohands
    Free Member

    you cant polish a turd…but you can roll it in glitter 😯

    kevonakona
    Free Member

    Classic R4 one from a few years ago:

    The roadmap will be de-railed before it can get off the ground.

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    My wife said tonight… 'Kill a thousand stones with one fish' … 🙂

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