‘Millionaire’ shortbread

I’m not sure when this crept into my life. It certainly wasn’t a thing when I was a kid but it’s a regular indulgence now. The name is a little OTT. Slightly pimped up shortbread would be more accurate if also more of a gobful.

Default order when in a cafe of unknown provenance. It varies massively if course, but I’ve never had a really bad one. Unlike scones and others which can vary from incredible to inedible. I’m not saying it’s my absolute favourite cake/biscuit, just that it’s usually a reliable choice

I am sat in a cafe in Bromyard having just scoffed a very acceptable example of the genre. Are you a fan?

I always find it a bit too rich personally

I do have a hard time looking past the millionaire shortbread these days.Shortbread is hard to get wrong, and adding caramel and chocolate to the top is also hard to get wrong. The only time I steer clear is when I can see the caramel to shortbread ratio is completely off – ideally it needs pretty thick shortbread with slightly more caramel than chocolate. But when the caramel is 4x the chocolate it’s going to be messy to eat.

Rocky Road was always my go to – but alas it turns out you can do a great job or a terrible job of making that.

Coffee and walnut cake is another fine choice though – shame you can’t ask for a taste like any decent pub will do for cask and craft.

My mum used to make back in the seventies, but she called them Wellington Squares. And yes, usually a pretty safe choice (from a culinary point of view rather than from a diabetic one).

a regular indulgence now

Take it easy or you will become fatblokeuptheroad

My mum made it when I was a kid in the ’80s, though I think we called it chocolate caramel squares.

Take it easy or you will become fatblokeuptheroad

Thanks for the warning, even if it’s a little too late….

Chocolate toffee slices in our 1970s/1980s household.

.Shortbread is hard to get wrong, and adding caramel and chocolate to the top is also hard to get wrong.

You’re thinking small time. Add some salt to the caramel and it becomes Billionaires Shortbread –  mathematically a thousand times better

I find it often disappoints with too much sugar and not enough butter along with cheap chocolate.

I’m not sure when this crept into my life. It certainly wasn’t a thing when I was a kid

I had it as a kid in the 70s and 80s. It does tend to have different names though. Growing up it was “millionaire shortbread”. As an adult when I moved 20 miles north to Glasgow, it was called “caramel shortcake” and people looked at me like I was a communist if I asked for “millionaire shortbread”

its curious, i used to always be drawn to a millionaires, but i am yet to have one that i have actually sat back and thought… wow.

Its usually a poor ratio of chocolate to caramel (in my book, the chocolate should be a wafer thin topping). Or the shortbread is naff.

So whilst on paper it appeals, in reality, its always a bit crap. I generally avoid it these days.

i’ll take some carrot cake, Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle instead.

Not for me, I have a cocoa intolerance so it would make me quite ill. I quite like the idea of caramel on the shortbread though

Is it not just a Twix?

I mean don’t get me wrong, I like a Twix as much as the next person, but it’s pretty mediocre on the list of ‘Cake Shop must haves’ half way round a ride. There ought to be a definitive list of best to worse cake shop offerings…

The chocolate and toffee should enhance the shortbread not overpower it. Its also often ruined by the use of cooking margarine rather than butter, and by cheap cooking chocolate. Used to be my favourite, but I tend to favour the frangipane slice these days, but that’s often spoiled by way to much jam.

Bit too rich a taste for me.

Only noticed brookies in the shops this year…rather nice so I’m now consuming them regularly

Its also often ruined by the use of cooking margarine rather than butter

+1

Baker near me has a great reputation but I find it totally mediocre – all the sweet stuff is ruined by the use of margarine.

It is good, and whilst a reasonable default, I’m not going to rush in and order it without a thorough visual inspection of all the other bakery treats. A meh millionaires isn’t going to trump a decent carrot cake or lemon drizzle… But a good one is indeed impressive.

I think shortbread is something that’s quite hard to get right. Needs to be the right thickness, right recipe and not overworked. **** up any one of those and there’s no place to hide.

Similarly the chocolate and the caramel have to be correct, and in the correct proportions. Different proportions of caramel to chocolate are needed depending on the chocolate type too.

Its pretty much at the bottom of my list its just dull.

And this is from somone who was a proponent of a fishfinger, potato waffle and saad cream roll on a different thread.

Infact i will go a step farther. If millionaires shortbread is on display the whole cafe if probably pretty mediocre.

Did you know they’re not making shortbread any longer?

Does it come with pink or mint custard?

Anyway, perfect ratios, butter, not overworked aside, where is the best millionaires shortbread then, within striking distance of some biking?

I propose Durleighmarsh Tea Barn, between Rogate Bike Park and the SDW. Ratios, chocolate, shortbread, all good. Slices are massive which is handy. Little bit of white chocolate decoration too for a posh finish. Mmmmm.

I find it often disappoints with too much sugar and not enough butter along with cheap chocolate.

Frequently,  on the back of which I rarely have it now. The kids still have it as their cafe fall back, but I now judge the ridiculous amount of cafes I visit by their Victoria Sponge.

But millionaires/caramel shortbread has been around as long as I can remember,  so mid 70s. My mum used to make it when I was little, pretty sure I made it at school in the 80s

Every single thing that gallowayboy said.^^

Anyone that gets the caramel and chocolate to shortbread ratio wrong,should be shamed in public.

People that use ‘cooking ‘chocolate need to be hoofed in the slats.

The shortbread is too easy for people to get wrong imho. Sometimes it is too crumbly and the whole thing falls apart, sometimes too buttery and then it tastes wrong. I can’t fault the concept but, like carrot cake, it’s too easy to mess with something and make it worse than it should be.

FWIW, I would hoover the squares until I had some sort of diabetic shock to them, but I think there are better things to have with an organic, fairtrade flat white.

The shortbread is often too dry and crumbly.

I much prefer a nice Tiffin or Peppermint Slice.

I much prefer a nice Tiffin

You are Sid James and I claim my £5

People that use ‘cooking ‘chocolate need to be hoofed in the slats.

I can’t imagine any reasonable person taking issue with you there. No court in the land would convict the hoofer. The hoofee possibly, for crimes against the culinary arts. Same applies to illegal use of the devils axle grease – margarine.

There are some fair points made on here about there often being better options. As I said in the OP I agree, but ordering some of the alternatives recommend above can be fraught with risk in a cafe you’ve never been to. I would postulate that it is far, far easier to **** up a carrot cake or a coffee and walnut cake that it is MS. Not impossible to **** up MS, just a bit harder therefore it’s a safer option. Now in an establishment I’m familiar with I will bypass the MS for nicer options of known pedigree.

@Yak Elaine’s tea rooms, Feizor.

@joshvegas

If millionaires shortbread is on display the whole cafe if probably pretty mediocre.

Great trolling. Never has there been a wronger statement in the history of the internet.

Any cafe or bakers worth their salt will have millionaires shortbread on sale, as it’s a mark of their quality.

That reminds me @Yak, The Fat Batard, Peebles.

Am I the only one who is silently crushed with disappointment when the server’s tongs move towards the smallest slice with the corner broken off? Instead of the huge piece with perfect layering proportions you were eyeing up. Usually I’m too polite to say ‘want that one’ in a little Britain style, but sometimes it’s just too much to bear so I do blurt it out.

Infact i will go a step farther. If millionaires shortbread is on display the whole cafe if probably pretty mediocre.

Reported. If that doesn’t get you a lifetime ban, I’m not sure what will.

Ask for the biggest piece, if the server always served the biggest piece then every customer would get the biggest piece and go away happy

If there is only millionaire’s shortbread on offer I will go without; always find the biscuit plus topping too much of a dry mouthful.

These threads always perform a useful public service by drawing the wrong ‘uns out of cover.

For those unsure how to locate cyclist recommended cafes – add any missing via the FB page:

https://cafes.cyclingmaps.net

I think there’s a function to overlay a route onto the cafe map but I’ve not used it.

Weirdly I find that it IS hard to get right. Caramel too thin/thick and/or shortbread too thin/thick/crumbly. Weirdly the best millionaire’s shortbread I’ve ever had was back at secondary school.

Bakewell slice on the other hand – thats THE default cake for me.

@blokeuptheroad

Am I the only one who is silently crushed with disappointment when the server’s tongs move towards the smallest slice with the corner broken off?

Yes you are. As they say in Scotland “the quiet laddie disnae get the jammy piece.”