it seems to be the season for personal problems on here, and id like to ask advice for a serious problem we’re having right now. we’ve got a problem with our teenage lad that seems to be causing our family to implode, and we dont know what to do for the best.

brief history – hes 17, and at 15 caused us a bit of grief with drink, drugs etc, and the usual chavvy mates. this coincided with me working away, my wife couldnt cope and had to start on the happy pills. i then started coming home in the evenings, things got slightly better. (or at least we could cope anyway.)

about a year ago he started getting stomach pains and in his side. we took him to the doctors a few times, they didnt make much of it, pains got worse, went again, they diagnosed gastroenteritis and gave him medication for it. he still complained it wasnt getting better and suggested it may be appendicitis. they didnt make anything of it again.
bit later he was rushed to hospital in agony, they diagnosed a burst appendix and he was rushed to theatre. surgeon told us it was the worst hed operated on and he had had a chance of not making it, due to peritonitis i think its called.
it was heartbreaking to see him laid in hospital crying in agony, and then to make things worse, he had to have another op because a rogue stitch was giving him complications.
all done and dusted now and he has a couple of scars to be proud of!

we considered suing the doctors as we were that angry, but didnt really want to be part of the ‘compensation culture’ as we werent after money, we were just so angry at their ineptitude. anyway, we didnt sue.

now the boy is having mental health issues. he loses his temper at the flick of a switch (bad rages altho he hasnt actually been violent, he’ll hit and kick stuff in his room), has panic attacks, and has developed OCD. hes been to the doctors :-/ and has had a preliminary meeting with a specialist. this was more of a Q and A session and has been told theres a 2 to 3 month waiting list for another session. after talking to him theyve told him this has been brought on by his hospital experience.
hes on tablets for a previous kidney/bladder problem, beta blockers for his panic attacks, and anti depressants because of his state of mind. poor kid.
i have family abroad who offered to give him a break, and apparently he was great out there, less OCD, says he had a great holiday and we were hoping itd change things, but now hes back its just the same. part of us think hes just spoilt and a lot of its because he cant get his own way (who wouldnt be happy and care-free on a holiday of a lifetime) but then again, there obviously is something wrong with his mind.

so at present our family is struggling. hes depressed, my wifes depressed, theyre at each others throats regularly, i feel like im always trying to calm things down, and in the background our other lad just gets on with being a normal teenager, and we’re hoping this wont affect him. but we’re all living in the ‘house of gloom’, nobody seems to be laughing any more. to make things worse, im a couple of weeks from having to stay away with work again, and i fear for my wifes ability to cope. she says shes lost her spark and doesnt laugh any more, and its true.

hence my question. who can we turn to?
we’ve considered a few options, one of which is to complain (sue?) the doctors for this situation, with the goal being they have to fund the best treatment possible for him, rather than a 3 month waiting list during which time anything could have happened…..
another option is to move closer to my work, but its a dirty town with loads of scrotes and i know the family wouldnt be happy there either. especially giving up a nice house with a nice view in a nice village.

is there anyone that we can talk to that we arent aware of at this moment? my lad threatened the other day that he felt like stabbing someone and robbing them as he didnt have any money. he also says he feels like harming himself some times. we feel we should be reporting this to someone in case something bad happens, but we just dont know who.

theres usually some good knowledgeable advice on here, so are there any experts out there who can guide us in the right direction please? i think we all need help, not just my lad.

thanks