Well, I’ve half seen this coming for a while, but my oldest daughter has just been sectioned…

She’s 19, autistic (high functioning with OCD too) and transitioned to residential care in January, after a long history of self harm attempts.

Formed a relationship with a boy a few months ago, was really starting to pick up and get herself together – but he ended it last night, and she tried to strangle/hang herself. She was under pretty constant monitoring in the home, so no damage, but taken to A&E as place of safety by ambulance crew, and from there been retained for formal assessment.

Both myself and my ex pretty stunned and not really knowing which way to turn next, which will probably become evident over the next few days. but I just felt the need to offload on here as its all a bit heavy at the moment.

Ho hum!

Man, that’s rough.

I hope she’s getting the attention she needs and that you’re all able to come out of the other side okay.

Makes some of our petty squabbles on here seem a bit silly when something like this happens to one of us.

Jeeesus that’s rough ninfan. 🙁
Not much I can say to help, but my thoughts are with you and your family.

Good luck, buddy.

My very best wishes to all of you, ninfan.

Whatever you do, though, don’t despair. Hopefully the care she gets will really help, and in the meantime, just remember that there is no shame in suffering from any sort of mental illness or disorder; it’s a matter of working through it over time, and supporting/loving the person no matter what.

But I’m sure you didn’t need me to say that.

Wow, wishing you and yours all the best Ninfan.

Having a family member sectioned is possibly the most heart breaking experience I have had to deal with in the past. The feeling of helplessness is super tough.

Hope she is getting the care that she needs / wants.

Sorry to hear that ninfan.

I can’t offer anything but sympathy for where you find yourself and the hope that your daughter comes through this ok.

As an aside, if there was ever a place to offload, stw is it. The bickering and arguing stops when someone needs a ‘safe’ place to talk about their feelings.

Poor Lass, hope she recovers well. When you struggle with your mental health it certainly makes a broken heart harder to deal with, I’m barely doing it.
It will take time and there will be ups and awful downs, she’ll get there

Not much to offer really, apart from sympathy as it must be a terrible time for you both.

I think all you can do really is listen to what the doctors feel is best for her and be there for her like we all try to do with our offspring. She is at an age where age where for most teenagers, relationships and hormones, make everything amplified and more difficult, before you throw the psychological issues in.

sounds like she’s in the right place for the time being. There’s plenty of suppport out there; Charities and so on, don’t feel isolated, ask for help and advice when you need it.

Cheers guys

Yes Saxon, I’m hoping that this leads to a ramping up of the intervention she receives (medication, psych support) – of course one if the difficulties is that a lot of the ‘standard’ interventions don’t appear to be all that effective in autism. (As one myself I caution that with ‘they’re not all the same, its a spectrum’ 😀 )

Hopefully will become clearer over the upcoming days. Stacked on top of ongoing care proceedings with my other daughter (due to her violent outbursts and social services not having a f’king clue about non-classical autism) it’s all pretty shite at the moment. Think I’ll definitely be heading out for a ride tomorrow 😆

Really sorry to hear about this, sounds awful.

Glad she got prompt care & assessment though, have seen friends and family have to really push for this before.

Hope she’s feeling better soon.

Being sectioned can often be the best way forwards for better treatment. My other half works in mental health and used to work for an early intervention team, often trying to get folk sectioned when they thought it would help them. Often it’s seen as a ‘last resort’ or that something has gone wrong, it really isn’t, it’s just a way of opening doors for better care and treatment.

Let me know if you’ve got any queries on any of it and I’ll field them to my better half.

Thanks Honey (badgerx)

Yes, I’m hoping that it becomes that step towards more support

its not very clear but I think from what her mum has been told she has been detained under S7, which I understand is pretty unusual, but I suspect that largely because she was already in a local authority paid for residential setting (but outside her home county). Im not sure if we ought to consider applying for power of attorney at this point, or see what happens further down the line. Any guidance on that really appreciated.

I’ve nothing particularly constructive to add but just wanted to say I’m sorry to hear that. I had to section a then-girlfriend once and it wasn’t an easy time.

I suppose one thing that might be helpful is, she did get help and is now happily married. She still struggles but, well, she’s still here doing it.

Good luck mate and hope she gets the care she needs.

I have a family member with mental health issues and it’s incredibly stressful and difficult on all sorts of levels.

Really hope she pulls through and gets all the help she needs. Thoughts are with your daughter, you and your ex. Nothing much else I can offer, sorry.

@ninfan no probs, she’s down at a mental health conference in Manchester today so I’ll ask when she’s back. Do you mind letting me know which NHS trust it is? It can be a small world at times so she might know someone you could speak to. Will keep you posted.

Sorry to hear that, it’s pretty hard.

One of my sons was sectioned last year. Keep visiting them – it can get very lonely there, and pretty tough (my son was put on a ward with people with all sorts of different conditions).

I would also suggest that you shouldn’t assume that they are getting appropriate treatment.

He’s a lot better now, so it’s by no means doom and gloom, but it’s not easy.

Email in profile.

Tell a lie, I do have some advice.

It’ll be the last thing you’ll want to do, but look after yourself. The simple fact is, if you fall over you’re no use to anyone else. Ride your bike, do what ever you need to do to stay sane, and don’t you dare feel guilty or selfish about it.

(My default MO in situations like this is, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m lying in a heap crying on the kitchen floor.)

I like Cougar’s advice, my daughters been sectioned 4 times in the last year and I dread every phone call from her AMH nurse.

But looking after yourself is so important!

Being a teenager is tough and being a parent to a teenager I’m sure is equally tough, with your daughters added difficulties I imagine you’ve been through some trying times. I’m hoping for a positive outcome for you all- good luck man.

Man, that’s rough. Hope she’s back with the family soon.

There are good people out there who can help. Best wishes to all of you.

Can’t help, but best wishes for you all.

Do the right thing, do the things you need to when you can and when you can’t, accept it with grace.

Really sorry to hear that ninfan, not much to add to what others have said- but I hope things improve soon.

Fingers crossed for all of you, ninfan; having been through a lesser version of this it’s not nice at all, and very easy to let the stress of it affect you in a major way

Thoughts are with you and your closest ninfan.
I have no idea how I would deal with such things in my kids life, but I would think friends and kindness would help.

It’ll be the last thing you’ll want to do, but look after yourself. The simple fact is, if you fall over you’re no use to anyone else. Ride your bike, do what ever you need to do to stay sane, and don’t you dare feel guilty or selfish about it.

I second that. I’ve been fully supporting and caring for my wife for 7 odd years now trying to get medical treatment for her cranial nerve damage. Just because she has it worse than me I try not to forget myself. It’s difficult and I still feel heartless sometimes but on balance it’s better to stay as functional as you can.

My thoughts are with you.

Again, thoughts and best wishes from us too.

Cougar is right, please look after yourself and keep on keeping on.

I’ve nothing to add but all I can say is all the best and I hope it all works out for you

Thanks everyone

thanks for the thoughts, and thanks for letting me offload. Just feel bit of a failure as a man, as a dad – want to make it all better and I’m afraid that this time I just can’t.

We’ll get there!

But you can, and will, make it as good as you are able to.

That’s not failing anyone.

ninfan – Member

Thanks everyone

thanks for the thoughts, and thanks for letting me offload. Just feel bit of a failure as a man

Your not trust me, but I fully understand.
As my wife’s primary carer for over 10 years you get so wound up in the trying to do the best for them you put any semblance of self on hold.

We as men are probably our own worst enemies in thinking we have to or can cope/fix/sort everything for our loved ones.
Just be the dad she loves and hold her hand, this is the one thing my wife really reacts to. I see the fear fade from her gaze and a trust she has in me wash over her face, its both humbling and heartbreaking at the same time but it’s what gives me the strength to carry on as without it I’m sure I would have probably ended both our lives.

Honeybadgerx is quite right. Sectioning *is* the last resort but also the first stop in getting proper help.

One of the members of my band went through a similar experience and whilst it was horrifying at the time, it quickly became clear that he was best placed to receive the care he so desperately needed.

I so hope you’ll all come out the other side with the help you need.

ninfan if you find yourself in Hebden and fancy a ride or beer or whatever (or just a break to get away from it all) email in profile, just rock up.

Just feel bit of a failure as a man, as a dad – want to make it all better and I’m afraid that this time I just can’t.

STFU you nobber 😉

i think we all know why you feel like this and can sympathize but its not your fault

We all wish we could protect our kids from all harm

We cannot and we take it personally but its really not your fault

think what the outcome would have been had you not been vigilant
you did your dad job now keep going, hard though it is

I know you think you’re trying to be helpful, but you’re really not helping.

Any paramedics/first responders on here will probably tell you it happens alot more frequently than you’d think.

Right, little bit of info from the other half:

People are normally detained under Section 2 or 3 (in England), but Section 7 is to do with the detainee being given a guardian who acts in their interests, typically the Local Authority (council), but it can be a named individual.

Does that help at all? Let me know if you want me to ask anything else. I might try and get said other half to have a look at this thread, but that does mean exposing her to you lot…