Menopause and potential family destruction

I have booked to see my gp today to discuss my wife and ways to help. Fingers crossed she can advise a way forward.

it’s worth writing some notes down of things you want to say. Then, if you get upset, you can refer to these to make sure you cover everything. 

OP I’d suggest that you go and get some specialist relationship counselling to work out what your way forward is.

Update. After posting this things seemed to magically get better, just a coincidence but a nice one.

Until last night.

We are on holiday and last night from nowhere she spent a couple of hours clinically discecting me to detail just how shit I am. I dont provide for family, I have anger issues, my parents are ****s, I’m a terrible lover, I have bad breath, i don’t inspire our kids, all I care about is TDF (fair enough) she’s stuck with me  and on and on and on and on.

Its a lonely place and I’m not seeking any advice. It’s just strangely comforting sharing with friendly strangers.

My youngest is nearly 15 so I’ll take the hit until he packs off to uni then I’ll look after myself.

Sorry if this comes across as blunt, but if it has reached that stage, dragging it out for 3 years won’t do you or your kids any good

One of my very good friends has just been through something very similar. He left, the divorce came through three weeks ago. He has 50:50 access to the kids. His life is immeasurably better and he only has his kids to answer to now. Maybe, just maybe, it is time you leapt. You will succeed. Time for self and child preservation.

We split when the kids were 10&12.  10y/o didnt even blink, 12 y/o was upset for a short period. We share childcare 50/50 (I have 4 nights she has 3).

I am much, much happier.  Still a bit scarred, she is doing ok too.  Kids are better than before!  Living in a miserable house is no fun.

Dog struggled mind ?  he likes everone in the same house but even he is used to it after 6 or 7 months.

I dont provide for family, I have anger issues, my parents are ****s, I’m a terrible lover, I have bad breath, i don’t inspire our kids, all I care about is TDF (fair enough) she’s stuck with me  and on and on and on and on.

This is toxic behaviour OP.

It sounds like she’s goading you, trying to get a response out of you. It is wrong, and unless something changes it is likely to adversely affect your mental wellbeing.

Your children will be aware of it, and also of how you are responding to it.

She is not going to change.

Sorry to hear this OP.  I think you are right about getting out. If youngest is 15, plan to split after GCSEs, worked well for a mate and his kids.

On the back of this thread I finally forced a difficult conversation with MrsMC.  Pleased to say it led to things getting better – still a work in progress, but atmosphere a lot less tense, and my mental health is way better.