Malcolm – The ghost

At our satellite surgery, it’s long been accepted by the staff that it’s haunted. This morning my ops manager has been over there doing some routine checks – the site’s not open today so she’s there by herself. While she was there; a drinks coaster moved on the desk behind her, and then clattered to the floor. She turned the radio on, at a low volume, and when she went back to the reception desk, the volume went up. This is a normal radio with a dial for volume, that you have to turn, she went back over and readjusted it, and the same thing happened again, at which point she said out loud “Ok, Malcolm, you’ve made your point, I’ve wok to do, and I can’t be arsing around all morning” and nothing else happened.

Previously people has seen shadows move, figures at the window; all the normal stuff…It’s all bollocks obviously, but sometimes it’s still inexplicable bollocks

I don’t believe in ghosts. My wife kind of does and is convinced we have one at our house (1980s house, we bought it from the estate of the original owners, both of whom we believe died in the house). We have a torch that is fastened to a unit with one of these:

Last week it somehow fell off – right in front of our eyes, despite it being a very snug fit.

I had inexplicable bollocks happen to me once. Working alone in our very old Mill. I was standing next to a beam saw and working out what I needed to do. It switched on. I hadn’t touched it. I couldn’t even reach the button to switch it on from where I was standing.

My cousin used to be a ghost buster.

She would spend nights in buildings with one of the ( I can’t remember which) Edinburgh Uni paranormal groups.

Loads of camera and sound equipment recording all night.

They never got anything ,other than some strange white noise type bursts on one of the mics.

She loved it though and had some great stories from some of the property owners.

Have a listen to the Uncanny podcasts if you haven’t already.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/m0010x7c?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

There was a girl in my class at high-school who I kinda liked but she had a boyfriend and then about 15 years ago I heard she’d died of cancer but then a few months ago she popped up on Facebook, although she looks a bit different. It’s all quite mysterious.

Er…OK.

and nothing else happened.

‘else’ doing some heavy lifting in that sentence.

“Ok, Malcolm, you’ve made your point, I’ve wok to do, and I can’t be arsing around all morning”

Sounds like Chinese whispers to me.

Purple monkey dishwasher.

No direct ghostly experiences myself, but used to deal with property inspections,  some if which were old properties with longstanding tenants. A few had notes to say the tenant thought the property was haunted.

I remember one property where the tenant, who was adamant he didn’t believe in ghosts, had heard or seen things he couldn’t explain beyond “must have been a ghost”. The only time I genuinely thought “Maybe….”

So “inexplicable bollocks”. Oh let’s just call it a ghost.

Our house dates back to 1810 and was originally two knocked together in the 1930s.

Had a few odd things happen.

Smoke detector fell off the ceiling, bounced against where the wall that used to be there prior to the 1930s and rolled back up the stairs.

Wooden spoon launch itself across the kitchen.

Various things fall off shelves.

However the best bit of inexplicable bollocks was looking for my son’s Thomas the Tank Engine. It was lost and he was getting very agitated. Suddenly it was gently tossed in from another room. There was nobody in there.

Nothing has happened since the kids were about 6 years old.

Inexplicable bollocks.

Forgot one!!!

Daughter was interacting with something, wife asked what it was and got the reply “The dust people”.

Wife asked where they were…

Answer “Behind you.”

Ooooooooh, entropy.

Inexplicable clicks (loud) in a room next to the drawing room.

Would only happen when no one was in the other room.

If you were in the offending room it would never happen, ever.

Seems to have stopped now. I miss our ghost.

Probably  have been “sucked off”

Railway cottage 1880’ish.

although she looks a bit different.

Slightly haggard and wearing a white sheet?

We used to live in a house built around 1870 and we know at least one former occupant got carried out in a box. For the first few years we had a few odd occurrences.

Number one and only child at the time saying he saw someone on the landing. The landing was between our room and his room and we saw nothing.

The random smell of pipe tobacco smoke. This was inside with all the windows closed. Our neighbour smoked but only ciggies and always out in the back garden.

Must admit at times you didn’t feel alone, even though you were the only one in the house. Probably nothing and just the human imagination.

I don’t particularly believe in ghosts, although Mrs JeffL is more open minded to it than me, and assumed that the “ghost” accepted us after a time and left us alone. He was called Frank.

redthunder

Probably have been “sucked off”

Such an easy watch!

Probably my favourite program – new series of US lands in October. 🙂

I heard she’d died of cancer but then a few months ago she popped up on Facebook

She’s haunting FB? How many ghosts are there in virtual reality? I think Iain Banks got close to discussing this in one of his Culture books.

Number one and only child at the time saying he saw someone on the landing

One of my aunts, iirc, used to say that she could feel my grandather’s presence on the landing of the house he died in. (Whereas my father used to feel the same presence in my bedroom after that grandfather had died – he had died a week after I was born and said he’d look after me. Can two places be haunted by the same ghost simultaneously…) Landings seem to crop up quite often in haunting discussions, which is odd because nothing really ever happens on the landing of a house.

Used to get a lot of strange ghoulish activity near to the pet cemetery, but that’s calmed down now that they’ve banned haunting with dogs.

If you are predisposed to believe in the supernatural, you’ll interpret unexplained movement/noise as “whoooo ghost”.

If you are not, you will still see it as unexplained, but not necessarily inexplicable.

Landings seem to crop up quite often in haunting discussions, which is odd because nothing really ever happens on the landing of a house.

Most deaths as a result of being pushed down the stairs start on the landing, and thats just the sort of deaths that result in ghosts.

Landings seem to crop up quite often in haunting discussions, which is odd because nothing really ever happens on the landing of a house.
Most deaths as a result of being pushed down the stairs start on the landing, and thats just the sort of deaths that result in ghosts.

Good point, well made.

Next point, haunting with balls rolling slowly into rooms accompanied by jewellery box music – why?

Oh, and a minor point of order

At our satellite surgery…

It should be easy to work out who is doing the haunting – there’ve only been a few deaths in space.

Taxi for kayak23….!

At our old premises up in Bolton it used to come ‘alive’ at night if ever we happened to be working late. It would always be the same sort of thing….there would 1) noises, like a clattering of wood. 2) muffled voices. 3) you’d quite often trip over something and 4) the most terrifying thing for the experiencer it would sound like the space bars n the computer would all start tapping at the same time.

I never really witnessed anything other than sometimes i’d feel that if i turned around there’s be someone there.

Where it gets stranger is that one of the staff who had witnessed No 4 decided to get in touch with someone who ‘could sort it out’. She consulted a lady from The College of Psychic Studies (founded by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle of  Sherlock Holmes fame) and she reckoned that she could ‘tune’ into the property via meditation, have a look around at what was going on and then deal with it accordingly.

The following day my colleague received a call from the lady who said; ‘the space has been cleared of the trapped energy and you won’t have any more trouble. However, i can explain the happenings to you’.

It went something like this:

1) The building was an old mill which had caught fire trapping in it’s workers – this checked out and clattering was the sound of the looms!

2) The voices were the sound of the workers who were trapped and couldn’t understand why nobody would help them!

3) The object was an Alsatian who was the mill owners pet dog who sadly too had perished!

4) This was the mill owner who wanted to know why nobody was paying him attention and wanted to know what we were doing in his mill as he didn’t realise he had died.

She said all she did was explain to them what had happened and that they were stuck. They questioned her and she asked them when was the last time you went to the pub or saw your friends or paid a bill or whatever. They acknowledged this, she called for their families to come and collect them which they did and after that, we never experienced anything!

She only charged us £80 as well!!

I don’t live up in Manchester anymore, but my staff tell me that the building ‘feels’ completely  different and when i do venture up there i don’t have the same feeling that i’m being watched in parts of the warehouse.

Who doesn’t love a good spooky encounter?!?!

With reference to @kayak23 – i have a book on Poltergeists out……. it’s flying off the shelves! ?

Most deaths as a result of being pushed down the stairs start on the landing, and thats just the sort of deaths that result in ghosts

Pfft I saw a documentary on this with some case studies – no cases of being pushed down the stairs though one was pushed out of a window, others died from lightning strikes, a venemous spider or even being shot by an arrow.

Sounds like Chinese whispers to me.

Most deaths as a result of being pushed down the stairs start on the landing, and thats just the sort of deaths that result in ghosts.

Would that not result in ghosts hanging around at some point between the top step and bottom of the stairs? Can’t imagine many dying before hitting the first step.

I’m in the unexplained bollocks camp myself. If ghosts existed we’d have found some proof by now. Also, scientific fact, ghosts can’t whistle.

No experience of ghosts or ghostly happenings, there’s been occasions when there’s been an unsettling feeling, or atmosphere, but nothing that could be pinned down specifically.

there’s been occasions when there’s been an unsettling feeling, or atmosphere

Me too, earlier this week in fact. In my case both were down to an overdose of jalfriezi and onion bahjis.

Most deaths as a result of being pushed down the stairs start on the landing, and thats just the sort of deaths that result in ghosts.

I suspect ghosts just dont want to see what you do in the bedroom/bathroom. Dear god, ghosts must be traumatised enough as it is without seeing what happens in a teenage boys bedroom.

This is where Scooby-Doo would have come in handy.

Ghosts or spirits or “normal” life energy is “easy” to deal with unless you are the one that caused their demise.

On the other hand, if you have encountered a demon or an evil genie that is determined to  have “fun” with you, then that’s an entire different story altogether.  They will affect you mentally without you even knowing.

Dear god, ghosts must be traumatised enough as it is without seeing what happens in a teenage boys bedroom.

When you lie on your arm till it goes numb so it feels like someone else….

Have a listen to the Uncanny podcasts if you haven’t already.

There’s 100% no ghosts. Having said that, I really enjoy a good ghost/unexplained story as much as the next person.

Uncanny in the first series felt like that, a good set of unexplained stories. But the following series have felt more exploitative to me, of people’s tragedy and ill health, trying to work up an angle to make something sad into something ‘spooky’ as the good stories have dried up (hence the ‘USA’ angle).

Clearly Danny has kids to feed, but it’s pretty uncomfortable listening to people recount a period of their lives following significant trauma, while he still increasingly tries to play up to the whole “ooohh was it a bogeyman” thing.

Plus, the aliens.

No experience of ghosts or ghostly happenings, there’s been occasions when there’s been an unsettling feeling, or atmosphere, but nothing that could be pinned down specifically.

I have been completely freaked out on a couple of occasions.

Once no obvious cause just stopped for a break on a ride and for some reason got the complete jitters. I guess it could have been a ghost hanging out on a farm track but I doubt it. I would go with some weird airflow giving the fear frequency.

The other was walking in fields near my house at dusk. Saw something out of the corner of my eye and then went into full subconscious panic mode. Probably a bat or a late rousting bird but my mind decided it was a big fuckoff cat or other predator and since I couldnt spot it that meant it was a stealthy one.

At a house party I did once chat with someone who was apparently really sensitive to this sort of shit. It was an interesting match of someone interested and, apparently, sensitive to the paranormal vs a skeptic with an interest in history. Sadly I didnt meet them again otherwise I would be curious how they slept when they found that a)they lived close to the gallows site and b) on a battlefield.

 Sadly I didnt meet them again otherwise I would be curious how they slept when they found that a)they lived close to the gallows site and b) on a battlefield.

If they are sensitive, they would have known it immediately but just keeping to themselves.  They can still sleep soundly because to them they are just normal spirits wondering around.   Generally, if they died on gallows or battlefield they are just spirits wondering around waiting for the living to help them. If the person is sensitive, they might contact him or her for help. No big deal but just help them cross over to the other side coz they have suffered enough.

Imagine this, you are sleeping and then you realise there are a pair of eyes (just eyes) watching you sleeping …