Woke up to the news. Became depressed. At breakfast. Went to get my bike. Realised keys for garage (attached to house, entrance through house) are on my bike.

My bike is in the garage. With keys in my frame bag. Behind a locked door. That my wife locked on her way to work. These keys also are the keys to our two external doors. We have no spares in the house, or outside it.

Currently feeling a bit stupid.

A) can’t get out
B) can’t spend day fettling bikes, as they are in the garage
C) can’t get beer as it too, is in the garage

Also, something about not being able to go to work.

Do you have a ground floor window you can get out through. Not sure what you’ll do when out though 😉

No spare keys in the hoose ? 😯

It’s a metaphor for the general election result, innit.

Trapped by the actions of others.

Call wife. Wife calls taxi. Pays driver £10 extra to drop keys off. Call in sick to work, its clear you are not having a good day. Get drunk.

hels – Member
Call wife. Wife calls taxi. Pays driver £10 extra to drop keys off. Call in sick to work, its clear you are not having a good day. Get drunk.

Called wife. Wife is working in hospital an hour away. Wife mostly laughed, mostly. Wife is evil. Can’t get drunk, see part C

No spare keys in the hoose ?

No spare keys in the house, we keep a set each. Also, new house with a security key we’ve not had cut. Guess what we will be doing tomorrow.

Fixing the windows you’re gonna break?

When I was stuck in a house*, I climbed out of a second floor window and stretched to the parallel one 5 feet away 3 times once, above a set of spiked railings….just to get a bag of fish and chips.

*Door mechanism broke.

Hour one of being locked in house:

I’ve fashioned some sort of clothes from tea clothes that I found around the kitchen. I’ve counted the number of coffee capsules and grains I have left, I suspect I’ll run out of caffinne by 2pm. The bear is still drunk. I hope he doesn’t wake up soon.

gofasterstripes – Member
Fixing the windows you’re gonna break?

Windows into a concrete garage where my keys are? Sadly not. I can climb out to go to the shops, but have a guess where my wallet is….yep, in my frame bag. On my bike. In the garage. With my keys. And my bike. And beer.

*sighs*

you appear to have beer ! All is not lost.

and a toaster…. it’s all good.

You’ve got beer, toast and access to the internet. It’s not all bad news.

A friend of mine spent 6 hours locked in a toilet in 1987. He got so bored he ended up taking his jeans off so he could read the washing label.

You shouldn’t have left everything in the garage.

HTH

weeksy – Member
you appear to have beer ! All is not lost.

and a toaster…. it’s all good.

HOLY CRAPBALLS I HAVE BEER!!!

I didn’t notice that. Awesome. Thanks man! Also, out of shot oinions and a leek.

thegreatape – Member
You shouldn’t have left everything in the garage.

Kinda wish I’d left my wife in the garage.

wwaswas –
A friend of mine spent 6 hours locked in a toilet in 1987. He got so bored he ended up taking his jeans off so he could read the washing label.

Sure he wasn’t just playing with himself?

Bus to hospital ~1 hr away and bus back with keys. You must have a few quid in change for the fare lying around, Shirley? More productive alternative to sitting on arse for those two hours? Still have the afternoon to play out…

HTH

Well you clearly still have a working internet connection. Get off here and do something more… useful… with your time!

wwaswas –
A friend of mine spent 6 hours locked in a toilet in 1987. He got so bored he ended up taking his jeans off so he could read the washing label.

a friend of mine was locked in a toilet in africa when the door handle came off the inside in his hand ….. after no response from banging and shouting to the staff at the restaurant he came in and handed the remains of the door to the waiter – face was priceless.

Happened to me a few years ago. Staying at the then GF’s house, small place, block of 4 houses with just a front door. She left for work at 4am. I got up to leave for work (100 mile drive back down south) at 6am. Went to get out the front door….. Arse!
Couldn’t call the GF to come unlock me as she was an air hostess and was on her way to Spain. Luckily she was back later that night.
Felt so ridiculous calling my boss

boblo – Member
Bus to hospital ~1 hr away and bus back with keys. You must have a few quid in change for the fare lying around, Shirley? More productive alternative to sitting on arse for those two hours? Still have the afternoon to play out…

Wallet is in frame bag with bike in garage. With train ticket. WIfe’s hospital is 40mins train ride away. Also, no way of getting to find her before 2pm as she’s doing hospital things.

I can jut climb out the window and wander around Hebden I suppose. I do also have some work I can do remotely.

Call a locksmith maybe.

Access to the garage is from inside the house. Behind two security doors :/

I can get onto the balcony… I could abseil down….no wait all my climbing kit is in the garage. FFS.

Put bear in toaster, set off fire alarm, fire brigade arrive and break window for you – genius!

Bear grills?

You’ve got double glazing I presume? Its very straight forward to remove a glazed panel from the inside.

The bear did not like it in the toaster.

I am now hiding in the toilet.

wallet and house keys, and bike in garage 🙄

better hope nobody breaks into your garage and pinches them while you’re locked in the house ! 🙂

iainc – Member
wallet and house keys, and bike in garage

I was tired, and slightly drunk, after my ride last night! This is not a normal thing.

Jump off balcony. Break both legs. Call Ambulance. Free trip to hospital. Get keys.

<may be a flaw in this plan>

The bear appears to be drunk on syrup. You could try that ?

This is brilliant! Obviously laughing with you, not at you!!

Just don’t set fire to anything!

I have found what I think may be a key to the external lock to the garage. I may be able to open it, then force it open a bit (aka bend it a bit) to get around the internal bolts…. wish me luck. First to climb out a window somewhere.

Go back to bed. That’s what I’d/will do.

Outside is cold.

As John Bishop said…”RedTube.com” is your friend when your alone 😉

VICTORY!!!

Managed to crawl under the garage door, hurrah for being skinny, and get in. Found light switch after bumping into everything. Found bike. Found keys.

Instantly felt disappointed that I now have to go to work.

Break out…

Do a bit of begging…
Buy more beer.

EDIT: Too late!

Rethink your bike security arrangements now you have found out how easy it is to break in to the garage…?

Managed to crawl under the garage door

HTF does that work!

Who fitted your garage door? I would be having words!

You crawled under the garage door?? There’s skinny, and there’s skinny.