Im generally a patient person.

But one of my colleagues, who sits on the next desk to me, is a heavy breather. its like sitting next to Darth Vader. It drives me fricking insane. to the point that i have to work with headphones on. every so often he takes a big breath and exhales, then goes back to the steady nasal breathing.

no one seems to notice it?!

old men who walk out of toilets without washing their hands. deerty old gits

little things that bug the crap out of you

Viruses.

But one of my colleagues, who sits on the next desk to me, is a heavy breather. its like sitting next to Darth Vader.

Are you Mr Stevens, head of catering?

If so , say hello to Geoff for me.

Guy I work with has many, many annoying habits.

The one I can’t seem to ignore / tune out is that he gulps when he drinks water.
He drinks a LOT of water.
He’ll come back from the water machine with at least 6 plastic cups full (he won’t use a bottle and doesn’t see why using plastic cups is an issue as “I always put them in the recycling..”) and will knock them back within a few minutes, every time gulping like he’s been in the Sahara for a day with no liquid.
This happens several times a day.

🙁

There is a larger gentleman in a social group I frequent who sounds like a set of bellows wherever he goes, you can hear him coming. Not sure it’s healthy.

There’s someone who I work with who can be a bit of a diva.

Communication:

Doesn’t read Text Messages, but sends them.

Doesn’t read e-mails, never ever, not once – because he used his personal e-mail address for everything when he started the place it gets hundreds a day, refuses to do anything about it.

Doesn’t read our internal messaging system, despite insisting we all do.

No the only way to communicate with him in vocally, via telephone or in person – unless he’s working on something when he’ll get all angry and passive aggressive – so you’ve got to pretty much ask for an audience sometimes and hope and pray he remembers the conversation because he won’t write it down, anywhere. We’re in a complex business that means lots of things going on at once, so if you need to tell him something, you need to set your own reminder to tell him because you can’t e-mail him.

Conversely, if you’re elbow deep in something so complex that it requires two screens 3 print out and a ouija board you must drop it immediately to answer any question he might have that could have been found out by looking at the very good CRM system we have or any of the other 3-4 databases that all hold the same info in a roundabout sort of way.

In fact he hates written communication as it’s “too slow” and “can be misunderstood” (because he’s a poor writer, I am not). and prefers we all call clients, suppliers whoever else – and then moans because we don’t have a paper-trail if it all goes wrong.

He’s a really nice person, even considering the above if he wasn’t he’d be a nightmare to work with. I think I would have hit it around the head by now otherwise.

Shut your **** mouth when you’re **** eating!!!!!
I don’t mind seeing your lunch when its on your plate, but i neither want to see nor hear your lunch as you chew it like a farm animal. You **** peasant.

The failure to wash hands after using a toilet. Dis-effing-gusting.

And certain types of drivers. I generally don’t have anger issues, but when I am on the road and someone does something so ignorant… I become apoplectic.

Parking infringements (double yellows, near crossings, etc.). I’ll end up doing serious jail time for some clown one day.

Oh, and my Girlfriend turning the wheel on my brand new car lock to lock while stationary… Arrgghhh stop it! (Think this may belong on the other thread..)

Driving: when I stop to let someone through (my right of way or not) and they can’t be arsed to nod/lift a finger/wave/flash to say thanks…boils my p*ss. How hard is it to show some form of gratitude?

People getting suspicious when I take photos of their house.

folk that mark their email as ‘high priority’ all the time.

drivers in the bike box at traffic lights when the could have avoided it.

folk that ask me if i miss bacon. (veggie for over 10 years)

Scabies

In an old office my desk was near the kitchen. We had a deaf guy and he used to have sugar in his tea. When he stirred his tea the spoon used to bang on the cup really loudly and he’d do it for ages. Used to drive me nuts. I used to tell him and he wrote me a note saying ‘it doesnt bother me and its not as loud as your farts!’ heehehehehe

Are you Mr Stevens, head of catering?

If so , say hello to Geoff for me.

Thanks for reminding me about that perchy 🙂

Greg Wallace. Just his appearance makes me scream obscenities at the tv.

old men who walk out of toilets without washing their hands

Maybe they neither pee on their hands or have a dirty knob?

Procrastination in general. Decide what you want to do, work out how to do it, do it. Easy.

News items about the pope.

Shut mouth when eating +1

The bloke near to me is like a cow chewing the cud. The noise and smell is revolting.

Get in the sea etc.

Freeloaders…

and the bloody bishop of bloody Canterbloodybury.

The one I can’t seem to ignore / tune out is that he gulps when he drinks water.
He drinks a LOT of water.

Is he overweight too? Undiagnosed diabetic maybe?

folk that mark their email as ‘high priority’ all the time.

… with the ‘read receipt’ flag set on them all.

Waiting for the bloody ads to load.

Charity folk knocking on my door at 2100 hours.
Pest off.

Yep eating with mouth open, effing scrotes!

And those nob heads who rev the tits off their stupid cars with massive exhausts that makes loads of frigging noise but doesn’t actually go anywhere that fast!!

And motorbikers that make their bikes backfire under the railway bridge near my house and generally ride them like cockwads, revving them and speeding up then slowing down so they can rev them up and go fast again. Arseholes, get to a track if your that good at riding!!!

My desk is located at the end of the office near the kitchen and toilets. One of my colleagues walks in and decides to use it just as we are sitting down to breakfast. He proceeds to bombard us in full stereo sound, the noisiest, wettest, fartiest dump ever. Absolutely no shame! It’s even worse as the unofficial “dump” toilet is next door.
He has a lot of dirty weird habits and is generally socially inept.

is a heavy breather. its like sitting next to Darth Vader.

Well it is Star Wars day today 🙂

Red plus one. Car drivers who now think the red light no longer means stop but there’s time for one more car.
Just seen a learner car go through the lights and join a queue of cars who then proceed to go through the pedestrian crossing while the “cross now” beeps are going. If driving instructors think that’s ok ,let’s hope they get stuck off.
The mums are the worst ones for it and do it while the school kids are crossing. I’ve asked the cops to stand there for just one morning and ticket the lot of them. They don’t seem that bothered.

Bugs.

Got to love angry STW 😆

There’s a building site near where I work and there’s a terrace of four identical houses, all with solar panels on. However three have four panels in a row and the other has 5 panels split over two rows – why!

However three have four panels in a row and the other has 5 panels split over two rows – why!

n+1

women at work who spray spray around and on themselves, who cares if the rest of the office don’t want to choke on it? how about I fart loudly and smelly and consider it okay.

Yes to loud breathing, and eating like a pig. Chewing should be silent too; I don’t want to hear anyone chewing gum, even with their mouth shut.

Headphones leaking sound so everyone can hear what shit you’re listening to.

Bad grammar.

Glottal stopping.

Assuming I give a shit about “a cyclist who ran a red light/rode on the pavement/killed a baby robin” just because I ride a bike. See also preaching about cyclists “needing to have insurance and tax”.

Saying “literally” when you mean the exact opposite. I died a bit inside when I read that Oxford had accepted figuratively as a definitely for literally. 😥

Glottal stopping

Don’t come to Glasgow. We’ve made a whole language out of it 😯

I don’t mind quite so much when it’s a regional thing, and in some places it’s fine (Gatwick Airport springs to mind), but Nick Grimshaw (and many others) saying Twi-er for the ubiquitous microblogging site makes me want to stab someone, notably him.

Flying mother **** ants – rains have been, little flying buggers have found their way in through the bottom of my new mozzy screens and there are thousands of the **** in here.

Emergency mastic out to seal the edges before they take over – they are swarming a plug socket for some reason.

To top it all they have attracted two very large toukes who are now hanging onto the screen creeeping me out with their beady yellow eyes.

My desk is located at the end of the office near the kitchen and toilets. One of my colleagues walks in and decides to use it … to bombard us in full stereo sound, the noisiest, wettest, fartiest dump ever

I think the bugginess of this depends – does “it” refer to your desk, the kitchen or the toilet ?