- Legitimate to "out" forum users?
I view forums as something fun to do when i’m bored.
If the weather is nice then i’ll be out with my dogs, riding my motorbike or cycling….if the weather is crap or its a slow work day then forums can be good fun.
Sadly some people (lets call them losers) confuse internet banter and the risque attraction that comes with the forum anonymity for real life interaction.
This is pitiful, people who get angry over what a stranger says to them on a forum should pour themselves a drink and reconsider their priorities….i often wonder how these delicate flowers get through life when just about anything can cause such offence.
Internet forums are fun, if you’re not having fun step away from the keyboard and do something else with your time.Posted 6 years ago
But the flip side of the people who get too upset is the people who say really offensive things because they’think what they say doesnt matter or are out of reach of a well-deserved slap. Personally I’m pretty relaxed about all this Internet stuff because I know there is an infinite number of dingbats with net access and it’s not my job to correct them all (even if I knew the answer).
It’s all “real life”, though.Posted 6 years agodeviantMember
I’d suggest that what goes on in an internet forum is not ‘real life’….my family, friends and colleagues matter to me (and it that order too)….everybody else is just passing through my life….and personas on a forum arent even people i’m ever going to meet.
To get upset by a complete stranger is bizarre.Posted 6 years ago
If somebody has no bearing on your physical day to day life then they are insignificant….why would you let somebody that insignificant upset you?!duckmanSubscriber
I had somebody email me to tell me they wouldn’t like to think of me being allowed to teach children….because I pointed out to them(by email) the wheels they had just offered me were actually more expensive than new retail. My suggestion of surprise that anybody had ever had actually shown an inclination to HAVE children with them brought an offer to drive from, I think Kent, to the North East coast of Scotland to sort me out.Oh and as BarnsleyMitch said, don’t get me started on what you get emailed if you have any religious belief(I used to)and dare to say so on here.Posted 6 years agoKevevsMember
yeah, but you can also have physical real life workmates who are inconsequential arseholes with a refuse site for a mind, who you could happily not come across ever again. And people (and they are people) on a forum can come across as quite likeable and likeminded. Just saying..Posted 6 years agoperthmtbMember
Its all real life.
Humans are a social animal, its in our very nature to be driven to interract with others, and to a large extent we measure our self worth by what others think of us (although we don’t like to admit to it).
Internet forums are just another channel of communication, relatively new so we’re still working out the rules, but no less ‘real’ than sending a letter, talking on the phone, or chatting to a stranger in the street.
Of course you will take an insult differently from someone you don’t know than you would from a family member or close friend, but that’s not to say that insults from strangers can be dismissed as harmless. In fact, random and seemingly motiveless acts of malice can be some of the most disturbing, because they go against our innate sense of ‘fairness’, defy our ability to rationalise them, and are the most difficult to mount a defence against ex post.
It’s also why random acts of kindness from complete strangers can be one of the most rewarding of experiences!
True, the anonymity of internet forums gives a certain freedom to express views and display emotions that we might not be comfortable with in other circumstances, and this can be seen as a good thing. But it shouldn’t be used as an excuse for antisocial beahaviour that wouldn’t be tolerated in other media, or to pretend that insults or threats somehow ‘don’t matter’, just because you haven’t physically met the person you’re making them to (yet!).
Just sayin… 😉Posted 6 years agoKing-ocelotMember
I once revived from a fellow STW forum user a long bellicose email challenging my view on art & what art should be. They went on to critique my own work and pull apart my website. It did not concern me about what was said about my views/work but at how simple it was from my email address to find out various details about me & functions I will be attending. I have since removed my address from my profile.Posted 6 years agopeterfileMember
STW is (in my experience anyway) different from most forums. There are many pretty normal, intelligent people here and few loonies who actually post.
However it’s worth bearing in mind the traffic stats which were shared with us not long ago. There were something like 1 million unique visitors in a month, a good number will have visited the forum and there’s only 100 or so regular contributors you “know”. That leaves A LOT of people reading your comments who you don’t see or hear. Could be quite a few oddballs in there.
I’ve never had anything threatening from anyone here and I’m pretty sure my life has not been in danger as a result of STW (although, I am going camping with TJ soon!)
I have had a few odd emails via blog postings though, but that’s to be exepected I suppose when one of the search terms showing up in the stats is “girls bum in leggings”. Seriously. Got to have come from STW 🙂Posted 6 years ago
A active Pistonheader was convicted of actual violence against two women that he had been dating. On one occassion he undid the seatbelt of the woman then slammed on the brakes hard 😯
After he was jailed alot of PH’ers noted that he came across as angry in alot of his posts.Posted 6 years ago
To get upset by a complete stranger is bizarre.
If somebody has no bearing on your physical day to day life then they are insignificant….why would you let somebody that insignificant upset you?!
It depends on the insult, though. If it’s “you’re a terrible parent, your art is a chocolate box lid and ur bike is a saracin” then well, who cares, you don’t know me. But if it’s “go back to x”, or “people like you should be burned”, or whatever, that’s got a bit of bite, maybe precisely because it’s abuse that doesn’t require any sort of personal knowledge.Posted 6 years ago
nonk – Member
Binners if I found myself in a situation like you describe I would be having a word with myself no really
If you are attracting that sort of toss then you need to walk away from the keyboard man.
To be honest Nonk, if someone’s getting themselves so rared up that they’re emailing death threats to random people on an internet forum, I don’t really think its me who needs to have a word with myself. I’m the proud owner of a sense of perspective. They’re clearly not.
As it was I just viewed the emails as a golden opportunity to take the piss, and wind them up even more. Which I duly did by firing back some extremely sarcy emails inquiring about the exact nature of my imminent and untimely death. There really are some sad little dweebs in the world, who really should leave their bedrooms at their mums house a bit morePosted 6 years ago
I think when someone starts abusing another, then it shows that the abuser has lost control and is somewhat incapable of normal interaction.
To be honest Nonk, if someone’s getting themselves so rared up that they’re emailing death threats to random people on an internet forum, I don’t really think its me who needs to have a word with myself. I’m the proud owner of a sense of perspective.
As it was I just viewed the emails as a golden opportunity to take the piss, and wind them up even more. Which I duly did by firing back some extremely sarcy emails inquiring about the exact nature of my imminent and untimely death. There really are some sad little dweebs in the world, who really should leave their bedrooms at their mums house a bit more
Surely better to simply ignore them full stop (and redirect any subsequent mail from them through your spam filter, than play their game and give them more attention?) Or do you enjoy the ‘battle’?Posted 6 years ago
Surely better to simply ignore them full stop (and redirect any subsequent mail from them through your spam filter, than play their game and give them more attention?) Or do you enjoy the ‘battle’?
I think if someones daft enough to take things that seriously, then they’re fair game for having it pointed out exactly how sad and dysfunctional that is.
And I don’t believe for a second, given the confrontational and inflammatory nature of some of your posts, that you wouldn’t do the same either. Be honestPosted 6 years ago
And I don’t believe for a second, given the confrontational and inflammatory nature of some of your posts, that you wouldn’t do the same either. Be honest
I don’t think my posts are ‘confrontational and inflammatory’; a little provocative perhaps though! Bang to rights otherwise though! Certainly, one individual already this morning has amused me with their apparent anger and inability to actually discuss the issues at hand, but then I don’t know if the other person may be suffering from personal problems, grieving, be having a really shit day or something more debilitating. I think it’s important to consider such things, as tempting as it may be to ‘stoke the fire’. Because they might have a better day tomorrow and turn out to be not quite such a **** after all.Posted 6 years ago
I loved the ‘one concert ticket for sale’. I expressed an interest. Asked a few questions but on final email I said TBH I don’t really fancy going on my own to a concert what do you think’? Nothing, 3months later I get ‘do you want this ticket’? (err no you didn’t reply/went quiet for 3months). Then I received some serious threats. Posting of email conversations but strangely NOT THE LAST ONE WHERE I ASKED THE QUESTION. Que me asking if it was right etc? ‘when I see you I am going to beat you up’.
Tangoman- are you still on here? 😆Posted 6 years ago
As a couple of random examples, queue jumpers, and road rage.
Well, these things tend to be more ‘in yer face’
Witnessing road rage in person is less upsetting than being directly involved. And reading about a road rage incident is far less upsetting unless there is a reason that brings the incident ‘home’
If there’s an angry man in the pub, I can’t disconnect him from the modem to disengage from the situation. He’s just an angry man who might follow me outside to settle the situation.Posted 6 years agoJunkyardMember
Bit late to this one but i cannot believe folk go to the trouble of e-mailing death threats and abuse to other posters and to the religious
Quite sad I say everything on here
Surprisingly I have never received either as some fairly innocuous [ less argumentative than me] folk seem to have
I’ve had sexually charged emails from:
His name used to conjour-up images of a sweet if not slightly argumentative (possibly senile) old man. It now has male whorehouse undertones that, TBH, I’m finding a tad disturbingPosted 6 years ago
I am not sure which of those I resemble most 😉
The topic ‘Legitimate to "out" forum users?’ is closed to new replies.