LBS quote of the year

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  • LBS quote of the year
  • Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    should have followed up with “what gear were you in at the time ?”

    (why ask where it broke ?)

    headfirst
    Member

    What gear?

    I’m guessing Rapha

    Junkyard
    Member

    why ask where it broke ?

    +1

    Edric 64
    Member

    What gear ? his sisters jeans probably

    cynic-al
    Member

    Where it broke… at the J=fatigue, by the nipple=corrosion.

    Junkyard
    Member

    So you can fix the J with a spoon but you are useless with nipples?

    julianwilson
    Member

    cynic-al – Member

    Where it broke… at the J=fatigue, by the nipple=corrosion/specialized wheelbuild[b] ๐Ÿ˜‰

    cynic-al
    Member

    *ring ring*

    -Hullo, I’ve broken a spoke in my wheel, can you fix it? Might I need a new one?

    Certainly Sir, where did the spoke break?

    – just by the chip shop on Dalkeith Road

    ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    cynic-al
    Member

    Junky I can fix ANYTHING with spoons*

    *it wasn’t actually a spoon, honest.

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    I took my bike into one of my lbs when I got a star fangled washer stuck in the headset..
    Owner of shop points at my forks… “ooooh…. You’ve got one of those new fangled maxles, not seen those before”
    Then unbelievably he didn’t know how to undo the maxle.

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    hardly unbelievable if he’d just confessed to having never seen a maxle before. In fact quite believable ๐Ÿ™‚

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    I thought he was joking.. then I had to take the wheel off for the mechanic.. who then ‘fixed’ it with a large hammer

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    Not lbs related but every now and then I get a call from (business) customers that runs along the lines of..

    ‘Hello *company name*, Tom speaking, how can I help?’

    ‘Hi Paul (1st wtf), I need a quote on *product that we sell*’ note no name or company given (2nd wtf)

    ‘Sure, sorry, I didn’t catch your name’
    ‘*gives name*’ still no company name.
    ‘And where are you calling from ****? So as I can bring up your account’
    ‘Litchfield.’
    WTF!!!!!
    Facepalm.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    They might make tents Tom…

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    They might, but they don’t. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    trevron73
    Member

    I’ve got a Litchfield tent in blue ,very nice it is too?
    1 extra tent peg came with it (maybe its a spare ?)

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    “I broke my arm in 3 places”

    “Why did you go to the other 2 places?”

    Premier Icon Kona TC
    Subscriber

    Given they rung a bike shop in the first place to ask if you could fix a broken spoke; I bet they expected an answer something along the lines of;

    “Certainly Sir, just bring the bike/wheel in to the shop we are open between X and Y and we will get our best mechanic to sort it out for you, should only take Z hours/days and cost about ยฃ:ยฃยฃs”

    But then again I only use bike shops as opposed to owning or work in one

    whatnobeer
    Member

    When I worked in a small IT company I once had a customer phone up and ask how much for Windows. I asked which kind she needed and got told sash and case ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    b r
    Member

    I took my bike into one of my lbs when I got a star fangled washer stuck in the headset..

    How?

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    Whatnobeer, yep, had that one as well!

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    How?

    I guess he rode it, or maybe in the back of the car ?

    wordnumb
    Member

    ^ ๐Ÿ˜†

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    I was in my LBS the other day and the guy behind the counter was practically shouting at a customer for asking what size bike he needed!
    “Smacks of someone coming in the shop to find out what they need then going away and buying online” or something… “You wouldn’t buy a suit by saying ‘what size am I?’!”.
    Oddly the customer didn’t walk out, but defended himself by saying he came in to look at the bikes last week.
    I wuz stunned.

    brakes
    Member

    customer: “if I wanted to change to 2×10, what components will be ok and what will need to be new”
    LBS: “you’ll need a whole new drivetrain”
    customer: “oh ok”
    LBS: “well you might be able to keep your cranks, the rest will need to change”
    customer: “oh ok. that’s good as my cranks aren’t very old.”
    LBS: “well, you might need to change them. yeah, you’d be better off changing the whole lot”
    customer: “oh ok. I’ll probably just wait for everything to wear out then.”

    messiah
    Member

    *ring ring*

    -Hullo, can you fix my son’s Giant bike?

    Certainly madam, but only if it fits through the door!

    ๐Ÿ˜€

    munrobiker
    Member

    Not a quote, but I remembered this from the last shop I worked in. I was getting a gentleman to try a few different hybrids, letting him sit on them in the shop to see what size and style he felt most comfortable on.

    He sat on a Giant Escape and promptly pissed himself.

    Fortunately he bought that one, I don’t think I could have brought myself to try and sell it to someone else.

    oldgit
    Member

    I took my bike into one of my lbs when I got a star fangled washer stuck in the headset..
    Owner of shop points at my forks… “ooooh…. You’ve got one of those new fangled maxles, not seen those before”
    Then unbelievably he didn’t know how to undo the maxle

    You say that, but when I picked up my road bike after having a new groupset fitted and new wheels I spent an age in the dark trying to undo the quick release so I could put the bike in my car.
    Lots of WTF! Took a while to work out that although it looked like normal QR, you had to pull the lever towards you and unwind it, then you could put the lever in any position you want. Of course DT Swiss owners will be familiar with this ๐Ÿ˜ณ

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    He sat on a Giant Escape and promptly pissed himself.

    You don’t mean he was laughing heartily, do you..? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    munrobiker
    Member

    No. No, there was no laughing.

    He completely ignored that anything had happened. Which meant I did too.

    Ramsey Neil
    Member

    cloudnine – Member
    I took my bike into one of my lbs when I got a star fangled washer stuck in the headset..
    Owner of shop points at my forks… “ooooh…. You’ve got one of those new fangled maxles, not seen those before”
    Then unbelievably he didn’t know how to undo the maxle.

    What’s more unbelievable is that you got the star fangled washer stuck and then didn’t realise that the way to remove it would involve “drifting” it out with a hammer .

    Ramsey Neil
    Member

    munrobiker – Member
    Not a quote, but I remembered this from the last shop I worked in. I was getting a gentleman to try a few different hybrids, letting him sit on them in the shop to see what size and style he felt most comfortable on.

    He sat on a Giant Escape and promptly pissed himself.

    Fortunately he bought that one, I don’t think I could have brought myself to try and sell it to someone else.

    Not quite the same but I was getting a childs bike off the shelf for a young boy to sit on . His family were all with him and when I lifted the bike off the shelf I farted loudly . Nobody said anything so I just carried on as though nothing had happened , quite surreal really .

    *ring ring*

    Me – “hello is that the local bike shop?”

    LBS = “it depends where you’re phoning from.”

    Shamelessy adapted from a Cooper classic.

    Premier Icon piedi di formaggio
    Subscriber

    Years ago, a colleague received a phone call and the female on the other end said ‘Is that the lingerie department’.

    Unbelievably my colleague said ‘No’.

    ….the fun that could have been had!

    thegman67
    Member

    When I first got into Mtb and reading up on different bikes and bike components I went along to Rock and Road in Bridge of Allan. Attempting to appear knowable I ask to see their Shrek Remedy they had for sale. The salesman didn’t even blink an eye and carried on being very helpfull.

    rusty90
    Member

    Customer peers through window full of bikes for a while then enters shop and stands in front of display rack full of bikes.
    Staff : “Hello, how can I help you?”
    Customer : “Do you sell bikes?”

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