kids and potentially dangerous stuff

That thread on backing off your riding got me thinking about this. How far is it OK to encourage kids to do stuff that has potentially bad consequences.

I have a French friend that really encourages his son (9) to go for pretty big stuff (drops, gaps etc) the lad usually rides them out (he is an amazing rider for his age) but sometimes has some pretty gnarly crashes.

I tend encourage my son (9) a lot less on these high consequence things, even though he is theoretically capable of doing them. If he decides to do something, I wont stop him but I never push him to go outside his comfort zone. I sometimes wonder if I am being too cautious.

This summer, we saw a 10 yr old airlifted off a bike park because his dad encouraged him to try a drop that was fairly obviously going to be touch and go for him.

How do others deal with this? Is it acceptable to encourage kids to do something that might lead them to getting hurt?

I’m not a dad.

But there’s a story my mum tells me about a doctor who was round to see my little brother one day. Mum looked out of the window and saw me (as usual) climbing trees and looning about in the garden, and said somewhat sheepishly to the doctor “oh sorry, I should stop him, he’ll kill himself”. The doctor smiled and said something like: “Naaah, he won’t kill himself. He might break an arm one day but he’ll be fine”.

Frankly I hope that if I have kids I’m happy to let them test their limits a bit, and that I’m brave enough to bite my lip if sometimes they scare me a bit. Within reason, obviously. But it’s a metric f***ton better than them spending all their time on the sofa getting fat. That’s far, far worse for kids in the long run.

Lots of sports can be pretty high consequence, when you think about it. I’ve seen kids take cricket balls in the face, seen kids in Europe doing amazing things on skis that would be pretty nasty in a crash. But is it a risk worth taking for active, fun-loving, fit kids? I reckon so.

Pain is only temporary but glory lasts for several seconds 😀

Bones heal, chicks dig scars.

Encouragement is the key, not pushing. If your lad fancies a go at a drop let him, if he doesn’t dont call him a big jesse, just find something he can do to build his confidence up on.

I’m not a dad either.

ianv sound like you are spot on.

I think allowing risk and encouraging some one in risky situations are a million miles apart. If your kid doesn’t fancy that _____ then why should you encourage them? The risk is that your gets are doing thise drops for your ego not theirs

Now I’m not saying wrap kids in cotton wool but I think its fair to be making risk assessements all the time. Chances of success and risk of failure etc. A busted limb is one thing but the stakes can be higher than that?

I think that in most sports, possibly expect rugby, the risk of life changing injuires are greater in cycling.

Well I asked the mrs if I’d get in trouble if I encouraged the kids and they crashed, she said no she would be fine with it (hmm) but pretty sure I’d feel like shit if they crashed on something I’d suggested riding, so dunno yet. Like to think I’d (gently) push them to go for stuff, I was a right scaredy as a kid and my riding didn’t progress very quick, will try to help them avoid that 🙂

How do others deal with this? Is it acceptable to encourage kids to do something that might lead them to getting hurt?

Stay away from ladders kids – just look where WCA ended up…

tbh I encourage my son where I think he can ride it, but do stop him if I think its too much – eg I stopped him riding the big pacs at Chicksands

I think that in most sports, possibly expect rugby, the risk of life changing injuires are greater in cycling.

No more so than falling out of trees, though. For what it’s worth. And it’s better than other sports.

look at the stats for injuries occurring in horse riding 😯 I think they are way worse than for cycling.

Long way to fall off an horse, and then the bugger stands on you…

Long way to fall off an horse, and then the bugger stands lands on you…

That’s what does the damage, in my experience… 😯

On the OP, my kids are two and under, so no experience of dodgy stuff (yet!) but I would say encourage and enable like mad, but try to recognise and draw the line at the point that it becomes pushiness. I think that might be the tough part…

Encouragement is the key, not pushing. If your lad fancies a go at a drop let him, if he doesn’t dont call him a big jesse, just find something he can do to build his confidence up on.

I’d agree with this too – same approach I take with my 2 year old on her bike. If she wants to try something and it isn’t stupid (riding along high walls with her current level of skills was ruled out already!), then she can. If she crashes, I’ll pick her up, give her a cuddle, say she’s very brave, all that.

But then I’m blessed with a nutter I hold back rather than a timid person who I push. Different possibly for other kids and other parents.

look at the stats for injuries occurring in horse riding I think they are way worse than for cycling.

Or football for that matter. Saw a stat somewhere that skateboarding in skateparks was responsible for far fewer injuries per person than football.

Oh and trampolining – really dangerous, massive cause of injuries (we’re not allowed one for that reason).

Having said that there’s a difference between ‘cycling’, and riding Whistler Bike Park or whatever.

As above,within reason ,let them push their own limits.

You have to learn to fall before you can fly.
Last year ,I took my youngest skiing (first time on big slopes).
Watching him,I hovered between terrified and very impressed.

Encouragement is the key, not pushing. If your lad fancies a go at a drop let him, if he doesn’t dont call him a big jesse, just find something he can do to build his confidence up on.

That is the key, although you have to be very careful as kids have little concept of danger and consequences the younger they are.

I remember one ‘brown trouser’ incident skiing, when my daughter, who was 10 at the time, followed me (after being told to follow her Mother) down a very steep mogul field and I only realised she was behind me well past the point of no return. She loved it but I nearly had a heart attack!

Having made my 5yo a bike jump ramp, I do sometimes wonder about this, but then his worst ever crash was riding on a flat path on the way home from school.

I encouraged my 12yo lad to do the box at Glentress, he did it no problem first time full of confidence, which I was reasonably surprised at. He wasn’t so sure about his speed on berm baby berm, and with me behind him “encouraging” him he stacked it near the end and gravel rashed everything down one side. 🙁
My fault to be honest, big tears, and he’s not been back since. I think it put him off any speed related rough stuff. 🙁

What I’d say is, let them decide how gallus they are themselves. 🙂

Paranoia is not letting your kids do an activity for fear of them getting hurt. Stupidity is letting them do anything without teaching them about consequences.

The large grey area of what’s allowed in between is what parents have to discern according to their comfort zone and the childrens’ abilities.

Personally, I don’t mind my kids riding some hard bit of trail, but I am far, far from comfortable when they go out riding on the road. I don’t stop them, but I do give them some pretty clear instructions.

So, what’s a reasonable aim for me and my v keen but not veryexperienced 14 year old when we visit CYB at half term? Can we expect to ride blue, red, black?

Take him on the blue, then the red. Reds are technical, but not impossible. You need to establish ground rules that it’s OK to get off and push round, through or over stuff they don’t feel they can handle. The pay off is you can get off and push when it suits you. Kids tend to be able to ride technical stuff better than we can because they are (blissfully) unaware of the consequences, so he’ll probably surprise you more than he’ll surprise himself.

Hmmm, I think my views are changing a bit with (bitter) experiences. I’ve had a tough 12 months with things biking. 2 adult friends have had life changing crashes (one is now a quadraplegic, the other has significent facial damage) and a young lad I taught (both academically and mtb skills) was killed on his bike.

I guess I had gone through life thinking mtb crashes were bumps and scrapes and the bad stuff is rare and happens to other people. Now I’m not so confident.

I’d say the biggest thing I’ve learnt was through Kadian’s death – kids (he was 13) internal risk assesment mechanism is not very well developed. You have quite a responsibility as the adult adviser made even harder by not knowing for sure how they are feeling inside because, as most of us have found out the hard way, doing something without confidence on a bike often means the chance of it going wrong rises exponentially.

So, what’s a reasonable aim for me and my v keen but not veryexperienced 14 year old when we visit CYB at half term? Can we expect to ride blue, red, black?

Depends how fit he is – that will be the real decider.

No amount of screaming and shouting seems to work with getting my 2.5 year old to whip the Cwmcarn hip jump at the bottom of the DH track.
She just says I’m a ‘stinky poo poo head’ 😉

Coming from playing rugby & riding throughout me childhood – bike are safer! That’s is until you slip off the pedals and crack your nuts on the stem

No amount of screaming and shouting seems to work with getting my 2.5 year old to whip the Cwmcarn hip jump at the bottom of the DH track.

long pointy stick might do the trick..?

I help at a kids club and it depends on the kid and the situation. If I think they can do something I’ll give them some gentle encouragement, however if they don’t do it relatively quickly I reassure them that it’s OK to leave it this time and come back to it later. I think if they think about it for too long then the obstacle has already beaten them and it’s better to go and ride something that they can do and build up their confidence. A lot of times it’s the thought of crashing in front of their mates that puts them off and once they have all gone round the corner the kid will do it no bother.

LOL at loco.

Just a thumbs up for Convert’s comments

Try to encourage my 8 yr old to do whatever he feels comfortable with, sometimes that means letting him do drops etc that I’m not comfortable doing.
My 5yr just starting to get the hang of riding down slopes under control, 2 weeks ago he fell of his bike when he stopped and broke his femer and been in hospital in traction since, sometimes they don’t have to be trying anything hard to hurt themselves.
All you can do is encourage, push them to do stuff they don’t want to do and you will end up putting them off.

My nearly 13yr old wiped out this afternoon on the road. He’d disappeared off the back so I went back to find him trundling down having hit the deck at 25+mph! Trashed helmet, jacket, shorts, rear mech, mech hanger but luckily a bit of gravel rash only. He was like Johnny Hoogerland but he did say at least he knows it’s not too bad when you crash at that speed!

I started my two bouldering when they were 3years and continue to climb and cycle etc with them – I allow them to make their own calls; stepping in only if the ‘sums’ don’t seem to add!

Only scrapes and bruises to date….oh and one front tooth. Which was ‘removed’ whilst running out of our tent eating a slice of apple which, I still can’t get over the odds, as he tripped acted just like a steel bar wedged between his teeth and lower jaw!

Some sound advice on here.

And for the record unless you actually force a child to take risks and they’re doing stuff they’re happy with; you’re not breaking any laws. Its not abusive to encourage a child to do something that you feel as a supervising parent that they’re capable of.
If an accident occurs as result of misjudgment the only real issue will be you’re own sense of guilt.

Watching my 9 year old daughter skiing today after not doing it for a year made me nervous. Especially when she tried the new tabletop at the bottom. And cleared it. Mind you she is proper hard, I have seen her go arse over tit down there and just get up and carry on.

When my son was into dirt jumping with his mates I had to leave him to it a couple of times as I couldn’t watch anymore. He’s still alive though.

All you can try to do is make sure they build up the skills before they start upping the risks.