Jokes about cheese please :-)

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  • Jokes about cheese please :-)
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

    Nacho cheese.

    don simon
    Member

    How can you joke about cheese?
    It’s a very serious business.

    don simon (qualified cheesemaker) 👿

    What type of cheese is made backwards?

    EDAM.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    Gouda been such a good thread this.

    yunki
    Member

    what’s white and sits in a tree..?

    Rupert the fridge..

    (not technically a cheese joke but I reckon you could sneak a cheese reference in there without upsetting anyone..)

    wrightyson
    Member

    What cheese to you use to entice a bear down from a mountain? … Camembert
    What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? … Halloumi

    What cheese do you use to disguise a horse? … Mascarpone

    How do you handle dangerous cheese? … Caerphilly

    What cheese is made backwards? … Edam

    What cheeses would you eat on a windy day? … Bries

    Can you make cheese without milk? … No whey!

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    What cheese was really good at running in the 80s?

    Gorgonzola Budd.

    wrightyson
    Member

    I clearly just copied and pasted but who cares!

    Familiarity brie-ds contempt.

    Premier Icon Stoner
    Subscriber

    The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

    What’s a Pirates favourite cheese?

    Chedd-AAAAAARGH

    JEngledow
    Member

    Why did Michael Jackson coat his willy in dairylea? …because kids will do anything for dairylea ….I’ll get my coat.

    yunki
    Member

    The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

    why the hell didn’t I know that saying when I was still young and carefree enough to wield such a poignant gem with aplomb..?

    lister
    Member

    Cheers folks, a couple of new ones there…nice pirate one Shane, how’s life with the Jacks?

    lister
    Member

    I’ve got 3, need more please.

    What cheese do you use to encourage a bear? Camembert.
    What cheese can you disguise a horse with? Mascapone.
    What does cheese say to itself in the mirror? Halloumi.

    Any others? Don’t ask why 🙂

    smell_it
    Member

    Cheese jokes, pah! I camembert them.

    TuckerUK
    Member

    Some spotty youth threw a block of mild cheese through our lounge window today. I went outside and shouted after him “Well that’s not very mature!”

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    I was walking along the street yesterday when some bloke threw milk and cheese at me. I thought “How dare’ee!”

    Jack’s ***t! LOL

    My Toddlers bike has a tiny edam zip tied to the bars. It’s his baby bell.

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    My Toddlers bike has a tiny edam zip tied to the bars. It’s his baby bell.

    Can we borrow your small edam for my school nativity play? We need a Little Baby Cheeses

    I bought it at a special dairy products market in the middle east called “Cheeses of Nazareth”

    There was a young man from Dundalk

    Who was marooned for year on a rock

    He had nothing to eat

    But the corns on his feet

    And the cheese that he picked form his xxxx

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    What’s a freedom fighter’s favourite cheese?
    Che, dur.

    OK that’s bloody awful but it’s an original dammit.

    Premier Icon woody2000
    Subscriber

    How does a pornstar like his cheese?

    Blue and veiny.

    I’ve just made that up you know 🙂

    Dundalk and rock don’t rhyme. 😕

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    It’s becoming more obvious to me why most people just repost old jokes

    rkk01
    Member

    I thought the camembert one was to do with Yogi’s little friend BooBoo 😆

    I don’t know any jokes but cheese based names are

    Reg Leicester
    Cheddar George
    Gordon Zola
    Wesley Dale
    Phil E Delphia
    Cameron Bear

    schrickvr6
    Member

    How do you handle exploding cheese?

    Caerphilly.

    Premier Icon valleydaddy
    Subscriber

    “One day Jill (a virgin) went to the zoo with Jack. They were walking around, and saw one elephant mounting another. “What are they doing?” asked Jill. “Oh, they’re making pizza”, Jack said. “Hmm…interesting. Can we make pizza, Jack?” Jack replied, “Not right now Jill”.

    They keep walking and see two lions having sex. “What are THEY doing Jack?” Jill asked. “Oh, they’re making pizza, too”, replied Jack. “Hmmm…interesting. Can we make pizza NOW, Jack?” said Jill. “No Jill,” Jack answered”. “Not right now”.

    They keep walking and see two monkeys having sex. “Are THEY making pizza, too, Jack?” “Yes, they are making pizza, Jill”, answered Jack. Jill then said “Jack…can we PLEASE make pizza NOW? Jack thought about it for a second, and said, “Okay Jill, let’s go make pizza”.

    So Jack and Jill go behind a bush and start getting it on. After a little while, Jill stops and says, “JACK! I think the pizza’s ready!!” Jack looked at her and said “How do you know that, Jill?” To which Jill said….

    “Because the cheese is running down my leg”.

    Premier Icon valleydaddy
    Subscriber

    There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France……
    All that was left was de brie.

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