Glad you posted this op as I didn’t want to start a thread but as you have…
I’m a raging ball of anger a lot of the time now. I think I succeed in keeping it off the forum (I great at putting on a mask as it were) and in fact very few would notice it irl. It’s there though, boy is it there. It’s wrapped up with a festering dose of depression and I see very little improving anytime soon.
It’s not aimed at anything or anyone specifically but I vent at those close to me on occasion, the very people that don’t deserve it. Vent? I’m totally lacking in patience, dont talk much and get incredibly angry (verbally) at inconsequential stuff.
It’s a horrible way to be and it’s not what I consider normal for me.
I have some ideas of why I’m like it, some I can’t change others I might be able to but seem unable to do so.
Been on a waiting list for near 3 years, get a call once a month to basically ask me if I’m going to kill myself or anyone else, well, that’s the final question. Not a dig at the NHS, mental health services are ***** just like everything else.